


This Time

by NeedyLoneWolf



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Pandemic Doctor AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:55:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 76,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23621173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeedyLoneWolf/pseuds/NeedyLoneWolf
Summary: Dr. Lena Luthor leaves her life behind to volunteer to serve on the front lines of a pandemic in Metropolis, where she meets Dr. Kara Danvers.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 276
Kudos: 758





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome, it feels good to be writing again after some time away. 
> 
> Housekeeping stuff: I am a medical professional, but I am not one of the heroes serving on the front lines of our current, real pandemic. Therefore, my descriptions of the hospital and triage area in this fic are plucked purely from my imagination, and may be inaccurate in some ways.
> 
> Some chapters are fairly jargon dense. For the ones that are, see the end note for a glossary. 
> 
> Tumblr handle: @tnpnd3- feel free to message me, I love talking to people.
> 
> Enjoy, and please stay healthy and safe!

It didn't hit her until she was 36,000 feet in the air and halfway to Metropolis that she was in over her head and had probably made a huge mistake. 

Lena Luthor sat stiffly in an aisle seat of flight 477 from National City with her hands folded in her lap, her flawless posture and carefully neutral expression a deliberate ruse designed to give anyone watching her the impression that her palms were not, in fact, slick with anxiety sweat. Although it wasn’t as if she and her fellow passengers were paying much attention to each other at all, as the mood in the cabin was generally grim. 

Once boarding had been completed, one of the flight attendants had taken the obligatory photo of the passengers smiling with their thumbs held aloft for the sake of social media, but the buoyant feeling of determination and camaraderie had only lasted as long as it took to get airborne. After that, the dozens of physicians, nurses, and sundry healthcare workers traveling to Metropolis to help fight the deadliest pandemic in generations had turned introspective as they seemed to collectively realize what they had gotten themselves into. Lena's seatmate, who had introduced himself as a rheumatologist from Mercy West Hospital, stopped trying to force conversation with her early on, and had since become absorbed in a game on his tablet, which suited Lena fine. The last thing she wanted was to be trapped in a meaningless conversation with someone she didn’t know for five hours.

Darkness folded over the plane swiftly as they left the setting sun on the west coast behind. Lena wished wistfully for a scotch, normally some kind of alcoholic beverage accompanied her while she questioned her life decisions, but no food or drinks were being served on the flight, as they were trying to minimize disease transmission. It was hard for her to not second-guess the events that had lead to her being packed like a sardine into the economy section of the first commercial passenger plane she’d ever set foot on. It all started with a news briefing that she watched from her office the day before, in which the mayor of Metropolis, with tears in his eyes, begged the country for volunteer healthcare workers as the rates of infection and mortality increased with dizzying speed. 

Lena had already known the numbers, she’d been tracking them for weeks. After all, she had built her entire life and livelihood out of data collection, and from an analytical standpoint, she understood where the city was headed. In fact, she even agreed with the governor’s controversial decision to place the population on lock-down. With a twist of shame she had realized that she had been overly insulated, sitting as she did behind her buffer of immeasurable wealth and distracted by the abstract intricacies of over a dozen ongoing projects. Until that point, she hadn’t considered the true human cost of the disease. She listened raptly, the report she’d been writing forgotten, as the mayor recounted that over half of the physicians on the front lines in the hospitals of Metropolis were infected, and the few that remained were working twelve to eighteen hour shifts at a time and dropping like flies.

Upon reflection, it was probably the most impulsive thing she had ever done. As the chief scientist and second in command of Luthor Corp, every one of her major decisions was typically scrutinized, debated over, and ultimately voted on. Every move she made needed to be for the good of the company, the glory of the family name, and the perpetual fluffing of her brother’s enormous ego. The fact was, Lena had already been primed to make a rash decision, she just needed an excuse. Lex was in one of his manic streaks, and he’d been hounding Lena for weeks to complete her research on a new drug that he was convinced was going to make a lot of money. After the stock market had crashed, he had become wilder and more unstable than she’d seen him in years, since the last time the company was hemorrhaging money during the recession. 

Lena was exhausted and feeling obstinate, all she needed was a little push, and the remorse of realizing that she was wasting her training and talent while living, breathing human beings were suffering was apparently all it took. She hadn’t really stopped to scrutinize the logistics of that decision until now, and it was too late to change her mind. The longer she sat without the hundreds of distractions that normally plagued her every waking hour, the more she doubted herself.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that in the blink of an eye the plane was already beginning its descent and setting down in Metropolis. She distracted herself from the lurch of her nervous stomach with the bright city lights as they taxied toward the gate, and didn’t realize how hard she was bouncing her leg until she noticed a blonde woman with big blue eyes across the aisle watching her. When she realized Lena had noticed her, she dropped her gaze in embarrassment, then looked back up and gave her a shy wave in lieu of the smile that Lena couldn’t see underneath a cloth mask decorated with a flower pattern.

“I’m nervous, too,” the woman offered quietly, her voice muffled, and before Lena could reflexively rebuff what was clearly the woman’s attempt to reassure her, the plane lurched to a stop at the gate. Lena stood to let her seatmates out and then sat back down, intentionally avoiding looking back across the aisle at the woman. She waited for everyone behind her to file out before standing and heading to the back of the plane, where her over-sized carry-on had gotten stuffed into the only overhead compartment large enough to contain it. Things had shifted considerably during the flight, and the bag was wedged in at a right angle. Lena cursed softly and she struggled to pull the wheel out from where it was caught against the lip of the compartment.

“Need help?” a familiar voice asked from behind her, and Lena startled, hitting her head on the lid. “Oops,” the voice said as Lena turned around, wincing and rubbing the lump that was already forming. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” It was the pretty blonde in the flower mask, the corners of her eyes crinkling in a way that Lena found annoyingly charming. Conceding defeat, she stepped aside to let the woman pull her bag out with one assertive yank, setting it at Lena’s feet and pulling the handle up for her. 

“There you go,” the woman said cheerfully, adding “wow, nice bag,” under her breath when she noticed the name brand on the other side of the identification tag. 

“Thank you,” Lena managed, standing very still. She knew it would be polite to say more, to compliment the woman’s cute mask perhaps, but her jaw felt frozen. She knew how cold and aloof she seemed to most people, and she wanted nothing more than to make a better impression on this pretty stranger in faded blue scrubs, who was looking at Lena like she hoped to make a friend. Nonetheless, she just continued to stand there and stare wordlessly until the woman fidgeted awkwardly with the strap of her ratty knapsack and gestured toward the front of the plane. 

“Guess we should get off, huh?” the woman ventured, and started to make her way down the aisle. Lena began to follow her but stopped again abruptly when she turned around after a few feet. “Uh, actually, do you know where we’re supposed to go now? Is there a shuttle or something?” 

Lena relaxed slightly. At least she was giving the appearance to other people that she knew what she was doing. “I didn’t hear anything about a shuttle. I’m having a car pick me up.”

“Oh, an Uber. Yeah, that’s a good idea,” the woman replied thoughtfully, walking again. She thanked the captain as they passed the cabin and disembarked. 

“Are you going to Willowbrook, too?” Lena asked as she caught up with her and they began walking through the tunnel to the terminal. 

“Um,” the woman said, pulling her phone out and opening her email, squinting at the screen. “Yep, Willowbrook,” she confirmed. 

Lena hesitated, but only for a moment before deciding to make up for her earlier rudeness with an offer that did not come easily. “You’re welcome to ride with me, then,” she said, glancing at the woman out of the corner of her eye and wondering what had gotten into her. She didn’t even know the woman’s name.

“Oh my gosh, that’s so nice, are you sure?” she asked as they headed toward the baggage claim. The airport was eerily quiet for being one of the busiest in the nation. “I guess it’ll be cheaper if we share.” Lena snorted and glanced at the woman with her eyebrow raised to show she was in on the joke, but the look she got back was completely sincere. Lena cleared her throat and turned away, her cheeks reddening. 

“Of course, no trouble at all.”

They stopped at the bag carousel and stood for a moment in silence, staring at the conveyor belt. The woman rocked back and forth on her heels, softly humming to herself and looking around curiously. Lena wondered, not for the first time, how anyone managed small talk.

“Oh, I’m Kara, by the way. Kara Danvers.” Kara stuck her hand out to shake and then immediately pulled it back. “Whoops. Sorry, it’s a habit.” 

Lena chuckled politely and shifted the handle of her bag from one hand to the other. “My name is Lena.” She paused, hesitating to reveal her last name. “Lena Luthor.” She held her breath, hoping Kara wouldn’t recognize it.

“Nice to meet you,” Kara said, bobbing her head. Lena couldn’t read any recognition in her eyes and she sagged in relief. “It’s good to have a friend in all this craziness,” Kara continued, stopping when the carousel alarm buzzed and bags started to drift by. Lena’s stomach flip-flopped the casual use of the word “friend.”

“What does your bag look like?” Kara asked, scanning the conveyor belt pointedly.

“Oh!” Lena exclaimed, stammering, “I don’t…sorry, I already have my bags. I thought we were waiting for yours?” 

Kara shook her head, laughing and holding up her knapsack. “Nope, this is all I need. This is what we get for making assumptions, huh?”

Lena stared at her, stunned. “That’s all you brought?” she asked in disbelief before she could stop herself, picturing the four full-sized suitcases that had been delivered to her driver as soon as the plane landed.

“Figured we wouldn’t need much more than comfy stuff and a couple changes of scrubs,” Kara replied with a slight tone of confusion, which was understandable considering that as far as she was aware, they had the same number of bags

“Right!” Lena agreed, nodding a little too hard. The vague queasiness that had been periodically washing over her since she had set foot on the plane was starting to feel permanent. “Alright, well, I’ll just text the driver that we’re ready to go,” she said, pulling her phone out. 

Kara, however, had already started walking through the automatic doors toward the curb, calling over her shoulder as she did, “It’s okay, there’s a bunch of Ubers out here already waiting, I’ll just grab one!” 

Lena hastily hit the send button on her text message and scrambled after Kara, catching her just before she leaned through the window of a Prius with a Lyft placard in the window. Feeling a completely irrational level of self-consciousness, Lena pointed to the matte black stretch limo that was pulling up to the curb behind them. “Um, sorry, actually this is our car.” Kara turned to look and goggled comically as the car parked and the driver stepped out and doffed his cap to Lena.

“Good evening, Dr. Luthor. My name is George. How was your flight?” 

Lena smiled politely as he took her carry-on and opened the door for her. “It was fine, thank you. Only a little turbulence.” She got in and scooted to the far side of the bench seat in the rear, leaving room for Kara. She looked expectantly at the door, waiting for her to get in, but instead heard George say, “Miss? Miss, please, I’ll take your bag.” Evidently Kara wasn’t accustomed to limousine protocol, as she was putting her own bag into the trunk. 

“No biggie, I got it!” she said to George, slamming the trunk shut and then sliding into the seat beside Lena. “Thank you so much.” 

George looked mostly amused, if not a little disconcerted. “Of course, miss,” he replied, shutting the door after them. 

Lena wondered if Kara had seen all the bags and decided she must have. She smoothed her skirt out and watched nervously as Kara buckled herself in and gazed around the interior of the car, her big blue eyes slowly widening. 

“Ostentatious?” Lena offered expectantly.

Kara snapped out of her reverie and swiveled toward Lena. “No, not at all,” she replied brightly. She giggled at Lena’s quirked eyebrow as the car lurched forward and they pulled out into the traffic of the city. “Truly, I was just thinking this was so much better than the ride we would have had in that Lyft. He was playing rave music.” She rolled her eyes and Lena was suddenly made aware of the classical music playing in the limo. Maybe Kara wouldn’t like that, either. She sat up and reached for the stereo controls in the panel over her head.

“Oh, what would you like to listen to? I can play whatever you like,” Lena said.

Kara caught her wrist gently as she started to fiddle with the dials. Lena’s breath hitched at the unexpected touch and she dropped her hands promptly. Kara, unphased, said reassuringly, “No, this is fine! I had no idea that I’d be riding to volunteer in such style.” She shook her head and ran her fingertips through a few loose strands of hair that had come out of her ponytail, a nervous habit Lena had never picked up as she had been taught to hairspray every strand into submission. “I really appreciate you letting me ride with you. It makes this whole thing a little less scary.” 

“You’re scared?” Lena blurted. She startled as a horn blared outside the window. They hadn’t been on the road five minutes and they were already stuck in bumper-to-bumper Metropolis traffic. She’d been foolish enough to think that the state-wide quarantine would deter people from going out, but apparently she was wrong.

“Of course I’m scared, this is terrifying.” Kara opened the tinted window a crack and looked out, grimacing as another horn blared and rolled the window back up hastily. “I feel like there are too many people out with the stay at home order, is this normal?”

Lena shook her head. “I don’t think so. It certainly wasn’t this bad in National City.” 

“Oh, is that where you’re from?” Kara asked with interest.

Lena studied Kara’s face for any hint of sarcasm and found none. She found it incredibly difficult to believe that Kara had no idea who she was. Had she never driven through National City and noticed that half the buildings had the name “Luthor” plastered on them in enormous, gold-plated lettering? “Yes, what about you?”

“Midvale. You’ve probably never heard of it, it’s pretty small. I’ve lived there my whole life.”

Lena had indeed never heard of it. “And where do you work?” she inquired, feeling a curiosity about this blonde stranger that she usually reserved for cell cultures. It was rare for her to meet anyone as personable as Kara.

“…Midvale,” Kara said, laughing. “I guess you could say I don’t get around much. In case you haven’t picked up on that already.” 

“You came here to volunteer,” Lena offered as evidence to the contrary.  
Kara took a deep breath and let it out in whoosh, her mask fluttering out away from her face. “Yep,” she said, readjusting it slightly. “Sure did. My sister thinks I’m insane, but here I am.” 

Lena chuckled humorlessly and rubbed the spot on her wrist where her watch was digging in. “Yes, I suppose my brother would say the same if he knew where I was.” That was the understatement of a lifetime.

Kara perked up. “You didn’t tell him?” she asked.

“I didn’t tell anyone,” Lena said, not knowing why she was admitting it. “I sort of just…up and left.” She fiddled with the clasp on her watch band for a moment before glancing up. Kara had her head cocked, and she found herself enjoying the interest on her face so she continued. “I just didn’t want anyone to talk me out of it. I’m a doctor, I feel like it’s my duty to be here.”

Kara was nodding adamantly. “Yes, exactly! That’s what I said to Alex, but she thinks it’s stupid. I mean, I understand that she doesn’t want me to get sick, but when a nationwide call for doctors goes out, you answer, right?” 

At that, Lena blinked and her jaw fell open slightly. It hadn’t occurred to her that Kara might be a physician. “You’re an MD?” 

Kara’s eyes flashed when she laughed. “No, I’m a DO,” she clarified, “Did you think I was a nurse?”

“Oh,” Lena started, flustered, “no, of course not, I…”

Kara waved her hand at her. “It’s fine, I promise. Actually, I am a nurse! Or at least I was, before I went to med school. Anyway, I get that all the time, it doesn’t bother me.”

Lena cleared her throat. “Well, I beg your pardon, I shouldn’t make assumptions.”

“Maybe not,” Kara shrugged, “but it’s okay, you’re human. What about you?”

“What about me?” Lena retorted reflexively.

“What’s your medical background?” Kara clarified, amused. “I assume you’re an MD- what’s your specialty?” She gestured vaguely at the decadence of the vehicle’s interior. “Plastic surgery?”

Lena wrinkled her nose. “I should think not. I’m an MD/PhD. Emphasis on the PhD. I don’t practice much,” Or at all, Lena thought, although she didn’t want to admit it. She thought maybe Kara wouldn’t like that. “I mainly work in a lab.”

Thankfully, Kara just responded with her usual enthusiasm. “Really? Cool! What do you do?”

Lena pursed her lips and looked down at her hands, deciding how much to divulge and going with very little. “Mostly drug research, but also biotech, vaccines. Things like that.”  
Kara started to ask another question, but the limo was slowing to a stop at the entrance to Willowbrook Hospital and the two of them glanced up in surprise, equally absorbed in their conversation. “Well,” Kara said, as the driver stepped out to get the door for them, “you’ll have to tell me all about it later, because I think we’re here.”

Lena’s stomach erupted with butterflies and she scolded herself mentally for being so nervous. For the first time, she questioned coming directly to the hospital from the airport, rather than stopping at her condo first to get her bearings. She wondered if she should have had the foresight to dress in scrubs, like Kara. She wondered if she even still owned a pair of scrubs. 

Despite Kara’s confession of being “terrified,” she hardly seemed phased, immediately hopping out of the car to get her bag and waving off a bewildered George, who had tried unsuccessfully to beat her to the trunk. Lena got out more slowly, reaching into her handbag to pull out a crisp hundred dollar bill and handing it to George, who tucked it away smoothly and nodded at her instructions to bring her bags back to her condo and have them brought up. She shrugged her purse onto her shoulder and followed Kara, who was already striding purposefully through the front entrance. They reported at the check-in desk and were directed to the east wing of the hospital, near where the emergency room was located. The closer they got, the more crowded it became until finally they found a table with a sign that said “Volunteer Check-In” with two men behind it decked out head to toe in PPE. 

“Can I help you?” one of them asked in a thick Metropolis accent. The only visible facial features were his eyes, which were bloodshot and surrounded by dark circles. Even underneath his mask Lena could tell he wore a permanent scowl.

“Yes, my name is Dr. Danvers, this is Dr. Luthor. We signed up to volunteer.”

He flipped through the pages on his clipboard and highlighted their names. “I’ll just need ta see identification and licenses.” 

Kara fished around in her knapsack and came up with an ID and a crumpled document that turned out to be her medical license. The man nodded and thanked her and held his hand out to Lena, who handed him her neatly laminated license and identification. “Thanks.” He pushed a several documents over for them each to sign, which Kara did with a flourish, hardly glancing at what it said. Lena, dismayed, scanned the document rapidly and then followed suit. 

“Canya start now?” he asked, stamping the documents and shoving them into a folder.

“Now?” Lena squeaked. Out of the corner of her eye, Kara was nodding and saying, “Yep!”

“Either of you a pulmonologist or do you have any experience working with ventalatahs?”

“Not a pulmonologist, limited experience with ventilators,” Kara replied. The man turned to Lena with his eyebrows raised. Lena shook her head.

“Okedoke,” he said, “Then you’re both in triage.” He handed them both badges with the word “VOLUNTEER DOCTOR” printed on them and a moment later started coughing hard. He turned away from the two of them, doubled over, until he caught his breath. Lena and Kara looked at each other with alarm and simultaneously took two steps backward. The man beside him started clapping him repeatedly on the back. “Shit,” he said, clearing his throat and turning back to them. “Sorry about that. Don’t worry, I already had it. I’m not infectious anymore, this here’s just from the fibrosis.” Lena grimaced.

“You should be home resting,” Kara said, horrified.

The man guffawed and it made him cough a few more times. “Sure doc, whatevah ya say. You two are going to want to go down that hallway, grab ya PPE, and then head out the door to your left to the parkin lot. You’ll see the tents.” He coughed again and slumped into his chair.

“Thanks a lot, I hope you feel better,” Kara said. He waved a hand at her dismissively. Lena followed Kara hurriedly down the hallway he had indicated, her heels clicking loudly on the linoleum. They had to stop twice to allow gurneys to go by, and the sound of codes coming from the emergency room was practically continuous. They stepped through a set of doors with a sign that read, “Volunteer Triage Locker Room/Women” and were immediately accosted by a flurry of activity and a woman inside barking orders at a crowd of people.

“Stop at the sink on your right! Wash up! When you’re done, get a mask, gown, and booties!” she hollered, adding under her breath as she dug through a large carboard box, “if I have them.” She turned to another volunteer standing nervously off to one side, “Lynn, go see about shoe covers, I don’t have any left in here.” She stood up and spotted Kara and Lena. She shoved a surgical mask and what appeared to be a Metropolis Mavericks rain poncho into Kara’s hands, but frowned at Lena. “You gonna change into scrubs?” she demanded rudely, scowling at Lena’s outfit, which consisted of a silk blouse and jacket, pencil skirt, nylons, and four-inch Louboutin heels.

“No,” Lena snapped, attempting to hide her embarrassment behind irritation. “This will be fine.” 

The woman started to argue that Lena could not possibly work in what she was wearing, but Kara interjected. “She has scrubs!” she said, rifling around in her knapsack and pulling out a light blue pair of scrubs identical to ones she was wearing. She held them up triumphantly. “Here we go!” she said to Lena, piling them into her arms and glaring at the woman, “you can borrow these.” 

The woman conceded with a shrug and a disapproving shake of her head and handed Lena a rain poncho. “You already have an N95, those are hard to come by. Don’t want to waste supplies.” She gave Lena a pitying look, one that only reinforced the feeling that she didn’t belong. Before the exchange could get any more heated, Kara placed her hand in the small of Lena’s back and guided her away to a free bench, muttering angrily about mean locker room ladies. 

Lena, eyes stinging, started to undress while Kara sat on the bench and tore the plastic off the rain ponchos that were presumably meant to serve as their PPE. Distracted by her own thoughts and not paying attention, Lena removed her mask and pulled her blouse over her head. At the same time, Kara stood up to shake out the poncho, and the pair ran clumsily into one another. 

“Oops, sorry!” said Kara yelped. Confronted by a mask-less Lena in nothing more than a black lace bra, Kara promptly dropped the poncho she was holding and staggered backward several steps, her eyes wide as saucers. Collecting herself, she snatched the poncho off the floor and turned abruptly on her heel and walked a few steps away. With feigned indifference she called over her shoulder, “just let me know when you’re done!”

Mortified, Lena pulled Kara’s scrub top on hastily. As expected, it was too tight in the chest, but the bottoms were worse. Even in her heels, the hems dragged on the ground. “All done,” Lena said, feeling ridiculous and trying not to cringe as Kara turned around. As soon as Kara saw her, her face, which was still beet-red, split into a wide grin, the first Lena had seen without her mask on. 

“Wow!” Kara exclaimed, scanning her up and down. “Those fit you…great!” Her reaction was so endearing and utterly untrue that Lena dissolved into a completely uncharacteristic fit of giggles, and Kara followed suit. They collapsed onto the bench together with their heads down, trying to hide their wildly inappropriate laughter from the people around them and failing miserably. They fumbled to put their masks back on as people started to glare, stealing glances at each other and breaking up again. For the first time since she got on the plane, Lena started to feel a little better. Somehow, despite herself, she had managed to make a friend.

Lena folded her clothes and stuffed them in her bag and Kara pulled a stethoscope out of her knapsack and swung it around her neck. Lena’s heart sunk a little when it occurred to her that while she had remembered to bring a stethoscope, it was still in its packaging in one of the suitcases that was currently sitting in her penthouse several blocks away. She had just started to make up her mind not to worry about it when the door to the locker room slammed open and a woman in pink scrubs stumbled in, pushing her way through the crowd and pulling her mask off as she gasped in loud, wet sobs. Lena knew a panic attack when she saw one. 

“I just can’t do it anymore,” the woman gasped as she wrenched open one of the lockers near Lena and Kara. “It’s too much.” Kara, flabbergasted, started to reach out a comforting hand, but the woman shrugged it off, tossing her badge down on the bench. “I can’t,” she repeated loudly, looking directly at Lena. Her cheeks were splotchy and tears were pouring down her face. Lena felt a surge of sympathy for her. For a second, the two of them just stared at each other, and then the woman snatched her duffel bag out of her locker and charged out the way she had come in.

Kara watched her go, looking nonplussed and asked “what was that all about?” But Lena was too busy staring at the abandoned badge on the bench, which read, “Volunteer Doctor.” The optimism she had been feeling just minutes before had completely vanished, and it felt like the walls were much too close and she couldn’t catch her breath.

“Kara,” she said through gritted teeth. Her jaw felt like a block of cement. “Can I talk to you for a second?” 

Kara, registering the look of pure anxiety on her face, immediately pulled her back down onto the bench and leaned forward, her eyes full of concern. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t think I can do this, either,” Lena said shakily. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I was thinking!” She waved her hand around and then clapped her palm to her forehead, a little too hard. “I can’t do this. I work in a lab.” Her lower lip started to quiver and she was thankful it was hidden by the mask. “That doctor! What if that happens to me? This is crazy!”

Kara reached for Lena’s hand and pulled it gently away from her face, taking her other hand as well and holding them both. Lena resisted the urge to pull her hands out of Kara’s and bit the inside of her cheek instead. “You’re totally right, this is crazy.” Kara validated, gazing at her earnestly. The calm cadence of her voice was soothing, and for the first time Lena noticed that her eyes matched the color of her scrubs almost exactly. She felt herself starting to relax slightly. “But it’s supposed to be,” Kara continued. “We’re in the middle of a pandemic. What matters is that you showed up.” She squeezed Lena’s hands. “You’re here. That’s what counts.”

Lena blinked rapidly, hoping that her mascara wasn’t smearing. “Yes, I suppose. I’m sorry, I’m being dramatic.”

“You’re not being dramatic,” Kara reassured her, “Like I said in the car, this is scary. You left your entire life behind and showed up here to help people, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Together.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want? I think I would just slow you down.” 

The corners of Kara’s eyes crinkled. “Not a chance. Nothing slows me down.”

“I believe that,” Lena admitted. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I look ridiculous. These scrubs don’t fit me at all.”

“Maybe not, but you look cute, though. And those heels are bomb.” Kara winked at her.

“And I haven’t practiced at all since I completed my residency,” Lena blurted out, finally admitting the truth. She held her breath and waited expectantly for Kara to give up on her, already thinking about an exit strategy. She could get a ride from George back to her condo, then call Jess and have her arrange for a flight home. She hadn’t even been gone that long, it was possible that no one had missed her and she could go right back to work without generating any suspicion. 

But to Lena’s bewilderment, Kara just shrugged. “Okay, so you’re a little rusty. Who cares? It’ll come back to you faster than you expect. And I’ll help you! Clinical practice is my life, just stick with me.” 

“Really?” Lena asked hesitantly. 

“Really.” Kara replied firmly, squeezing her hands briefly before letting them go. “I think you’re going to be amazing. Now, let’s get out there!” Kara clapped her hands and stood up abruptly, striding toward the door and scattering a group of nervous looking medical students. Lena wiped her eyes surreptitiously and followed Kara out into the crisp autumn air. It was even more hectic outside among the tents than it had in the hospital. It was dark and drizzling lightly, so everyone was at least a little wet. They were almost immediately approached by a woman with a clipboard who was staring eagerly at their badges. 

“Volunteer doctors?” she asked. Kara answered in the affirmative and the woman, sounding relieved, said, “Great, go to triage tent three.” 

After a few minutes of searching among the rows of tents, they found the one marked “TRIAGE THREE.” A small brunette woman in light purple scrubs ducked out of a smaller tent that appeared to be functioning as a makeshift nurses’ station and trotted over.

“Hi there! My name is Nia, I’m the physician’s assistant assigned to this tent.” She looked between them expectantly.

“Hi Nia, nice to meet you. My name is Kara Danvers, I’m an ER doctor from California.” Kara said, and gestured at Lena. “This is Dr. Lena Luthor.”

“Oh, thank God,” one of the nurses gathered in the tent behind them declared, having overheard the introductions. “An actual ER doc? We’re saved!” This was followed by a light smattering of applause, which made Kara dip her head shyly. 

“So,” Nia said, “Welcome. You’re actually just in time, we lost our last doctor a little while ago.”

Kara looked horrified. “She died?” she asked, aghast.

Lena pursed her lips and interjected, “I would venture to guess that was the woman we saw in the locker room having a breakdown.”

Nia nodded. “Yep, that would be the one. Can’t really blame her, though, lots of people crack under the pressure. She’s a dermatologist on the upper east side, I don’t think they do a whole lot of emergency medicine. Anyway, do the two of you have experience with the presentation of PARVID?”

“High fever, fatigue, shortness of breath, rash,” Kara said as the trio started walking slowly over to the entrance of the larger triage tent. “Occasionally GI distress, can progress to bilateral interstitial pneumonia in severe cases.” Lena listened attentively to Kara’s real-life experience with the disease. Most of what she knew about it came from the research she had read on the infectious agent itself, a single-stranded DNA virus of the family parlovirinae, a rare virus that was mostly found in animals. 

Nia nodded along as Kara spoke. “Yep,” she said, “That rash you mentioned is practically pathognomonic for it, but it doesn’t always present like that, especially in older people. Usually it starts with fatigue and fever, eventually they get a nasty cough and shortness of breath. That’s when things tend to go south. We’ve also seen a lot of people with GI distress testing positive, like you said. Since I assume Dr. Thomas isn’t going to have a change of heart and come back, you’ll be the attending here tonight. If you look,” Nia guided the two of them into a position where they could see between the tents and pointed to the parking lot beyond, where there was a long line of people behind a fence. “Those are the people waiting to be seen. Everyone gets funneled through triage out here. The idea is to keep them from ever stepping foot in the emergency room unless they’re in acute respiratory distress. The ones having any other kind of genuine emergency go to a different wing to prevent them from getting infected. Our job out here in triage is to decide who goes where.” Nia looked at them seriously. “I’ll be totally honest with you. This is nothing out here, it’s gravy compared to what’s going on in the hospital. They’re sending the volunteers out here to triage to keep you out of the worst of it and hopefully lessen the chance you’ll get infected, but the emergency room and the ICU are a nightmare. It’s basically our job to make their lives easier.” 

“We’ll do our best,” Kara said solemnly. 

“Right.” Nia said, walking through the entrance of tent three, Kara and Lena following. “This is your kingdom. As you can see, eight cubicles total. They’re all filled right now, and I would expect for it to stay that way until around one or two in the morning. They get disinfected between patients. Wash station is here,” she gestured to her right where there were sinks and boxes of gloves. “I’ll stay a room or two ahead of you getting vitals and chief complaints and directing the nurses. If it’s something easy I try to make a judgement call and send them on their way, but most people are insisting on seeing a doctor. Shifts are twelve hours long, we finish up right at 7:00 in the morning. At some point a delivery service will come with food. There are snacks and water in the nurses’ tent. Any questions?”

Lena could think of about a million, but Kara was already bouncing on the balls of her feet, looking eager to get started. “If I think of any, I’ll let you know,” she said to Nia. Lena just squeezed her hands together, her stomach in knots.

Nia nodded and looked between the two of them. “Since there’s two of you, you can each take one row, if that works?” Lena shot Kara a frantic look. 

“Dr. Luthor is with me for now,” Kara corrected Nia firmly, who shrugged.

“You’re the boss,” she said. “Good luck!” With that, she turned and ducked out of the tent.

With the casual affect of someone utterly at ease, Kara looked at Lena and teased, “Hope you can move fast in those heels, Luthor.”

Lena squared her shoulders, plucked up her courage, and replied, “Oh, don’t worry.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> Welcome back for chapter 2. As it turns out I've been more prolific than expected, so I'm updating a little early. My heartfelt appreciation to all who subscribed, bookmarked, commented, and kudosed on the first chapter. Feedback truly is writer fuel.
> 
> I've gotten a request for a medical lingo glossary, so please see the notes at the bottom :-)
> 
> Enjoy, stay healthy, stay safe <3

“Hello, my name is Dr. Danvers, this is Dr. Luthor. You must be Brianna and Michelle,” Kara greeted a girl and her mother after she swept headlong into room one, not bothering to stop and read the notes Nia had made during her intake.

Lena plucked the clipboard attached to the door frame out of its slot and carried it in with her, scanning the intake form which stated the patient’s vitals and chief complaint. “7 yof cc SOB.” The only other documents on the clipboard were a SOAP note and a prescription pad. Lena found a pen in the pocket of Kara’s scrub top and prepared to take notes, scanning the room curiously as Kara complimented the patient’s Captain Marvel t-shirt. The set-up was spartan, to say the least. There were two chairs, both occupied, a military cot that seemed meant to serve as an exam table, and what appeared to be a TV tray with containers of a few essentials like cotton swabs, tongue depressors, and alcohol wipes. It was abundantly clear that they would be relying almost entirely on their clinical judgement to make diagnoses, without the aid of readily accessible imaging or lab tests. Lena found that disconcerting, but Kara didn’t seem phased, as she was too focused on explaining to the little girl that someone named Carol Danvers was a long-lost cousin of hers. Lena had no idea what she was talking about, but within thirty seconds the child had peeled herself away from her mother and was perched at the end of the folding chair, listening to Kara attentively.

“So, what brought you in here, Brianna?” Kara asked casually once the child had warmed up.

“My mom brought me in here,” she replied frankly. Lena snorted.

Her mother, Michelle, ruffled her hair. “She was having trouble breathing this morning. And she’s had this weird cough the last few days.” Lena started writing. “I know kids don’t get the virus that bad, but my elderly dad lives with me. I think she should be tested.”

Kara nodded along patiently. “What happened this morning, Brianna? Can you describe how you felt?”

“Like I couldn’t get a breath,” Brianna replied, breathing in and out exaggeratedly to demonstrate. “Like this. I was playing with my dog, Charlie.”

“You have a dog named Charlie, huh?” Kara asked, dropping to one knee in front of her so they were on eye level. Brianna nodded. “My dog’s name is Rex. He’s pretty hairy, is Charlie hairy?” Lena’s pen froze and she looked up slowly, amused. She wasn’t surprised at all that Kara had a hairy dog named Rex.

Brianna giggled. “Yeah, he is!”

“Knew it,” Kara said, slapping her knee. “And have you ever felt that feeling before? Like you couldn’t catch your breath?” Kara reached forward and started to gently examine the child’s hands, pressing on her nailbeds, palpating her pulse.

“Uh huh!” Brianna replied cheerfully, watching what Kara was doing with interest. 

“You’ve never told me that,” her mother scolded, looking at Kara and then at Lena, shaking her head to indicate that she’d never heard any such thing.

“At recess,” Brianna clarified impatiently for her mother’s benefit.

“Got it,” Kara said, holding up the end of her stethoscope. “May I take a listen to your chest?”

Brianna sat up tall and closed her eyes. “Yes, you may.” 

“Why, thank you,” Kara responded, putting the earpieces in auscultating her patient’s heart and lungs. “Take a deep breath in and then blow all the way out, like you’re blowing out birthday candles.” Brianna nodded solemnly and did as instructed. When she was done, Kara pulled her stethoscope off entirely and handed it to Brianna, whose eyes lit up, taking it from her eagerly and popping in the ear pieces the way she had seen Kara do it.

Kara swiveled toward Michelle. “Just to confirm: has she been around anyone that’s been sick in the last few weeks, and has she had a fever, fatigue, aches, chills, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, rash?”

Michelle shook her head continuously at each question. “Nope, none of that, as far as I’m aware.”

“Great,” said Kara, leaning forward helpfully so Brianna could reach her with the stethoscope. She plunked the diaphragm down directly on Kara’s clavicle. “The good news is, I have no reason to believe your daughter has PARVID.”

Michelle slumped in her chair with relief. “Really? Are you sure?” 

“Yep,” Kara said as she replaced Brianna’s hand holding the stethoscope so it was correctly positioned over her heart, and waited until Brianna’s eyes got big and she screech-whispered “I hear it!” before continuing, “but I do think she has asthma. You’ve probably never heard her complain about this before because it only happens while she’s active outside at recess. But now that she’s been spending a lot of time at home, it might be acting up because she has a little bit of an allergy to your dog. Pretty common, she might grow out of it. In the meantime, just try to vacuum every day to head off the dander and we can get her started with an inhaler.” 

Brianna pulled Kara’s stethoscope off and handed it back, thanked her politely, and hopped out of her chair. “Can we be done?” she asked.

“Yep, all done!” Kara replied, standing up and offering Brianna a high-five. “Dr. Luthor, do you mind writing a prescription for an inhaler?” 

Lena tore the sheet off the top of the prescription pad that she had just finished signing. “Already done,” she said, handing it Michelle and explaining, “this one is new, it just came out about two years ago. It has excellent outcomes in the pediatric population, and there are hardly any side effects. Two puffs when she’s feeling short of breath.” Michelle tucked the sheet into her purse, her lips moving as she repeated Lena’s instructions to herself under her breath. 

Kara, meanwhile, was showing Brianna how to properly apply hand sanitizer. “I would probably keep her separated from Grandpa for at least a week,” Kara added. “Monitor her for any of those symptoms I mentioned and follow up with her pediatrician as soon as you can.” She winked at Brianna and waved, and Michelle thanked both of them profusely and shooed her daughter out the door.

“Well, that’s one down,” Kara remarked to Lena brightly, wiping down her stethoscope and flipping it back over her neck as they walked toward the sinks. 

“One down,” Lena echoed her warmly as they scrubbed up. She was quickly finding that the longer she was around Kara, the more comfortable she got. She replayed the patient encounter in her mind, and it occurred to her that she could have diagnosed the child just as easily as Kara had. She would never have her rapport-building skills, that was true, but she could feel her self-assurance returning, nonetheless. 

“Doing okay?” Kara inquired, nudging Lena softly with her shoulder. 

She shook herself off her train of thought and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine.” She scrubbed thoroughly under her freshly painted nails and decided they were much too long and made a mental note to clip them. Her eyes drifted to Kara’s hands in the sink beside her to get a sense of how short she kept her nails. Pretty short. Lena bit her lip and wondered if there was any nail polish remover in the master bath of her condo.

Kara didn’t appear convinced. “Was that okay? The way I did that? I didn’t mean to commandeer the whole visit, I can definitely do it differently, if you’d rather…”

“Not at all,” Lena interrupted, laughing a little as she turned the water off with her elbow and accepted Kara’s proffered paper towel. She was starting to rather enjoy the confidence differential between Kara and her alter ego, “Dr. Danvers.” She hadn’t heard Dr. Danvers stutter once. “You were amazing,” she told Kara simply, because it was the truth. Kara’s eyebrows practically disappeared into her hairline. “Actually, I think I could learn a lot from you,” Lena continued casually, drying her hands and looking up briefly to check for Kara’s reaction. She still seemed to be trying to formulate a response as Lena brushed past her, snapping on a new pair of gloves and taking the clipboard off the wall outside the entrance to the next room. “An 82-year-old male with a cough,” she read out loud.

Kara came up and peered at the chart over her shoulder. “Normal vitals, that’s a good sign.” Kara made an “after you” gesture at Lena, and they entered the room together. An elderly gentleman was sitting on the edge of the exam cot, leaning over with his forearms on his knees. His breath rattling in his chest was audible even from across the room. Kara went over to him immediately, pulling up one of the folding chairs to sit in front of him. The man tilted his head a little to look up but couldn’t seem to articulate anything. Lena noted the distinctive barrel-shaped appearance of his chest in the “O” of the SOAP note. 

“Mr. Mitchell? I’m Dr. Danvers.” Kara reached into the pocket of her scrub top and pulled out a small pulse-ox reader and clipped it to his index finger and began examining the rest. “Clubbing and cyanosis bilaterally,” Kara muttered over her shoulder to Lena. “O2 sat is…. golly….O2 sat is 92%”

Lena flipped back to the intake page. “It was just 98% when they took it a half hour ago.”

“It can nose-dive pretty quick,” Kara replied as she stood up and walked around the table to percuss Mr. Mitchell’s lungs. The resonance changed to a dull thud when she got to the lower lobes. She auscultated in the same places and grimaced. “Mr. Mitchell, I’m going to have someone get a wheelchair and bring you inside to the emergency room, okay?” 

His watery eyes watched her blearily from over the top of his homemade cloth mask and he nodded. “Okay, doc,” he rasped. He looked at Lena and then back at Kara. “Is it bad?” 

Kara reached over and gently brushed a piece of lint off the front of his sweater vest. “Honestly sir,” she began, sitting back down with her stethoscope folded up in her hands, “it’s not great, but we’re going to get you taken care of.” She started to ask him something else, but Lena stepped out of the room before she could hear what it was and called for Nia, who emerged out of room seven across the hallway.

“Hey, Dr. Luthor, what’s up?”

Lena gestured behind her. “This patient needs a transport to the emergency room, he’s a PUI. And we really should have been alerted to how severe his condition was right away. His O2 saturation is at 92% and he’s struggling to breathe.” Lena hated to be stern, but she was honestly a little taken aback as Nia had given them every indication that was extremely competent. 

“Dr. Luthor, I hear you, but there are no beds right now,” Nia said bluntly. 

Lena thought she had misheard. “No beds?” 

“Not in the ER or ICU. They text us when space frees up. I can put him on the waiting list, but right now there are none.” 

Lena gaped at her as Kara came out of the room, looking impatient. “Is someone getting a transport?” she demanded.

“No, there aren’t any beds,” Lena answered. “Nia says that she can put him on a waiting list.” Kara glanced back into the room where the patient had resumed his tripod stance. She pulled the three of them away to stand in the space near the sinks so he couldn’t hear them. Down the hallway, another patient coughed harshly.

“He’s tanking,” Kara said, looking back and forth between the two of them. Nia folded her hands in front of her patiently and gave Kara a knowing look, and Lena suddenly understood that the man in room two would likely never get a bed. Kara, on the other hand, didn’t seem willing to accept that. “He has history of COPD. There’s consolidation in his lower lobes bilaterally. He needs a CT, or at least a chest x-ray.” Nia adjusted her mask but said nothing as Kara rambled on. “He needs to be on supplemental oxygen, he-”

“I can get him on the waiting list, Dr. Danvers,” Nia interrupted her, “but that’s the best I can do. Until then, we have to send him home. I know it sucks, but it’s protocol.”

Lena’s heart clenched as she watched the wrinkles on Kara’s forehead deepen. “He came here in a cab because he didn’t want his wife to have to drive him,” she said through gritted teeth. “He’s all alone. If I send him home, he’ll die. Can’t he at least stay here where I can keep an eye on him?”

“Dr. Danvers, I completely understand what you’re saying, but-”

Kara put her hand up to cut Nia off. “No,” she said assertively, all of the usual accommodating sweetness disappearing from her voice. “I am not sending this patient home to die. Put him on the waiting list. But until he gets a bed in the hospital, he’s going to stay in room two. Have one of the nurses get a pillow and sheets for the cot. We need an IV stand and some ringers. Just the stand, I don’t need a pump.” At first Nia looked like she wanted to protest, but then thought better of it and resigned herself to taking notes on her phone. “There has to be portable oxygen somewhere in this hospital,” Kara continued. Lena could tell from Nia’s face that there wasn’t, but she didn’t seem to want to argue with the doctor anymore. “And a vial of IV vitamin C, if you have it. I’ll let him know the plan.” She disappeared back into the room.

Nia stared helplessly down at her list and gave Lena a miserable look. “I can get the fluids, and maybe even the vitamin C, but there is no portable oxygen. The ER has everything that’s available.” Lena believed her, but she also agreed with Kara. It was unconscionable to simply send the man home. And she could feel the tickle of an idea forming in the back of her mind. “And Dr. Danvers doesn’t know this yet, but she’s going to have at least ten more patients tonight exactly like him. We can’t save them all.” 

Lena shook her head and put her hands on her hips, rocking back and forth to try to get her idea to coalesce into something like a plan. “Maybe not,” she said after a few seconds, “but Dr. Danvers is right: we have to try. And I think I might have an idea. Start getting the equipment she asked for, I’ll be right back.” Lena left Nia and walked out of the tent around the back, getting as far away from other people as possible. The rain had stopped, and the sky had cleared, leaving behind a relatively pleasant autumn night. The city enveloped the hospital on all sides, and it made Lena feel small. She found a secluded spot near a light pole and pulled out her phone to search through her email for something she hoped hadn’t gotten lost or deleted. She got about a hundred proposals a day from owners of small start-up companies desperate for an investor, most of them hawking novel drugs and biotech. She didn’t bother reading most of them, but occasionally something promising would come up and she would forward it to the board. The one she had in mind had gotten voted against 9-1, the return on investment didn’t pass muster. The board was notoriously disinterested in purely philanthropic ventures. 

After a minute of agitated scrolling, she found it. Excitedly, she called the number at the bottom of the email. It rang twice before a tired-sounding voice answered. 

“Venturi, Inc. This is Melissa.”

Melissa Zacharias was the owner of the company, and the one who had sent her the initial business proposition. “Yes, hello Melissa. This is Lena Luthor over at Luthor Corp.”

A sharp intake of breath followed by a pause and then, “Dr. Luthor!” the woman choked. “Hello! This is unexpected…what can I do for you?”

Lena was pleased, the woman sounded like she would be accommodating, but she tried not to get her hopes up. “I was wondering if your company is still producing portable oxygen rebreathers. The, ah,” Lena glanced back at her email, “the Oxygenix?”

“Oh! Yes! I mean, no. Well, not at the moment. We had to temporarily delay production because of the pandemic. And…uh…some funding issues,” Melissa stammered. 

“Would you happen to have any units in Metropolis available to sell?” Lena asked smoothly, crossing the fingers of her left hand in the pocket of her scrub top.

“Um, let me see…just a moment…” A muffled noise indicated that she had put her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone, and Lena could hear her repeating the question to someone else in a slightly frantic tone. “Yes, it seems that we do have fifteen of them in Metropolis.”

“Fifteen,” Lena repeated, biting down on her tongue to keep the relief out of her voice. “And they are fully functional? Ready to be used?” 

“Yes, they’re all ready to go! They’re in storage right now, of course, but-”

“How many would you say you have in total? Not just in Metropolis, but anywhere.”

The muffling sound again. Then, “We have ten here in National City, but they’re incomplete. Our suppliers, um-”

“I understand,” Lena spoke over her. She already knew why her suppliers had cut them off. “I’ll take all of them, including the unfinished ones. Full price. Make a list of what you need to complete them and send it to me, I’ll have the parts overnighted. I know it’s late here, but I would like to send a driver to pick up the ones in Metropolis within the hour. Is there someone that can meet him and explain how to use the product? They will be compensated for any inconvenience.” 

“Yes,” Melissa squeaked on the other end of the phone, “I can get someone to help you.” 

“Wonderful. I’ll send you the address of where to send the rest once they’re done. I’ll wire you the payment in full as soon as we get off the phone, and if your product meets my needs, we can discuss further options at a later date. Is that fair?”

Melissa sounded like she was about to pass out. “Yes, ma’am, more than fair, thank you so much, you will not be disappointed.”

“Thank you,” Lena said, and hung up. She texted her personal accountant, then called George and explained what she needed. Feeling triumphant, she walked back around to the front of the tent and started scanning the area. Most of the volunteers were rushing around, intent on various tasks, but she finally spotted a young male orderly standing to one side, looking like he didn’t know what he should be doing. Lena caught his eye and beckoned, and he jogged over eagerly.

“Hello,” she said, flicking her eyes down at his name tag, “Winn. I have a job for you, if you’re available?”

Winn pulled his shoulders back and stood up tall. “Yes, ma’am, at your service!”

Lena nodded and smiled at his enthusiasm, which was exactly what she was looking for. “I need you to go the main entrance and wait. In about five minutes a black limo will pull up. I want you to go with the driver to pick up some very important medical equipment.” Winn nodded along seriously as she spoke. Lena felt a little concerned that he was so agreeable to the concept of getting into a car with a stranger, but she didn’t have time to worry about it. “Are you good with technology?”

“Oh, I am AWESOME with technology,” he asserted proudly.

“Yes, I thought you might say that,” Lena replied, having had no such thought. “You’ll meet with someone who will go over instructions with you on how to use this equipment. It is imperative that you return here knowing precisely how to use it and be able to train the nurses on how to use it as well. Does that sound like something you can do?”

He looked like he had just won the lottery. “Yep, definitely. You can count on me, Dr…”

“…Luthor,” Lena replied reluctantly.

“Luthor,” Winn repeated, then hesitated. “Wait…Luthor?”

Lena pretended not to hear the recognition in his voice and continued, “When you return, please come get me right away. I might be seeing patients but have one of the nurses ask me to step out.”

Winn continued to look at her curiously but didn’t press the issue and threw her a silly salute before trotting off, looking thrilled with his assignment. Lena watched him go, chewing on her lower lip and wondering if she had made a mistake. She ducked back into the tent just as Kara was coming out of room seven. Somehow in the time it took her to make two phone calls and send an orderly on a clandestine mission, Kara had managed to see five patients.

“Hey, there you are,” Kara said, walking up and looking concerned. “Everything okay?” 

“Yes, everything is fine!” Lena said, forcing a chipper affect. “I have some good news. I was coordinating with the, erm, hospital technologist on some new portable respirators that were found packed away in the basement. Evidently, they had no idea they were there. Can you imagine?” Lena crossed her fingers again, thinking her story was ridiculous, but Kara was delightfully gullible. 

“Oh, that’s amazing! That’s really good news!” Kara exclaimed, her face flooding with relief. “I already have another patient on the waiting list quarantined in room four. I think Nia is ready to kill me.” On cue, the woman in question passed them carrying an armload of supplies into room two. Lena pursed her lips and didn’t answer. She hadn’t decided how she was going to convince Nia that someone with a job title that didn’t exist had magically found essential medical equipment in a basement. She decided she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. “How long will it take to bring them over?”

“I think they said about an hour?” Lena replied, taking a wild guess. 

Kara’s forehead crinkled as she frowned. “I guess that’s better than nothing. At least they’ll get fluids in the meantime. Well, while we wait, do you want to keep rounding with me?” 

Lena followed Kara, who was clearly beginning to hit her stride, into room after room so fast she was beginning to struggle to keep up. Her heels were admittedly starting to kill her feet. After a while, Kara, ever astute, caught her wincing as she hobbled down the hallway toward the sinks after diagnosing the flu in room five. 

“It’s fine, Kara, really,” Lena protested as she was forced bodily into a folding chair. Kara knelt, propped one of Lena’s feet up on her knee, and deftly pulled off her shoe, revealing no less than three bloody toes. Kara gasped dramatically and called for one of the CNAs to bring her a basin with warm water and some scrub as Lena made a futile attempt at escape, unable to wiggle out of Kara’s firm grip on her leg. Mortified, Lena gave up and crossed her arms petulantly as Kara dunked both her feet in the soapy water, patted them dry, and wrapped her toes in gauze. 

“We’re gonna have to get you some new shoes,” Kara said when she was done, squeezing Lena’s ankles affectionately. Lena was thankful that her bright red cheeks were mostly hidden by her mask, because the way Kara was looking up at her was almost too much to handle. Thankfully, one of the nurses came over and gave Lena a reprieve.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” he said. Kara hopped to her feet and put her hand out to Lena, pulling her out of her chair. Lena reluctantly slid her feet back into her heels, but she had to admit that they felt better. “Nia said there’s an acute abdomen in room four that needs attention ASAP.”

They washed up quickly and hurried to a room containing a young Hispanic woman curled up on the cot in a fetal position gripping her middle. Nia had noted in the chart, “29 yof cc RLQ pain-possible appendicitis” and, underlined, “No English.” Lena started to ask Kara if she should have someone fetch a translator, but to her amazement, Kara was already speaking to the patient in perfect Spanish. Lena, unable to take notes, set the clipboard down and just listened. She was so absorbed in watching the interaction that she startled when Kara turned around and said in English, “Right lower quadrant, 10/10 since this morning. She tried to go to work but they sent her here instead.” Kara said something else to the patient that made her turn onto her back and pull her shirt up. Kara placed her hands gently on the patient’s abdomen and said, “Mis disculpas, Mari. Dime si esto duele.” She pressed lightly and the patient shrieked, making Lena flinch. Kara asked another question that Lena didn’t catch, and Mari nodded, in tears.

“Shall I call for a gastroenterology consult?” Lena asked, already one foot out the door.

Kara shook her head. “No, have someone get a wheelchair and call up to OBGYN. It’s an ectopic.” She tugged the patient’s shirt back down and helped her to roll back onto her side, holding her hand and murmuring unintelligible reassurances. Lena found the nurse and told him to get a transport to obstetrics.

“Will do, doc,” he said agreeably. “Also, you’re Dr. Luthor? One of the orderlies was looking for you.” 

“Already?” Lena blurted, surprised. She glanced at her watch and realized it had been over an hour.

The nurse, whose nametag said “James” shrugged and ran off to get a wheelchair. Lena hurried to the entrance of the tent and found Winn, looking extremely pleased with himself standing beside a handcart stacked high with boxes labelled “Venturi, Inc.” 

“Dr. Luthor!” he greeted exuberantly. “These are AMAZING!” He pulled a box off the top and began to rip open the packaging. “You’re going to be so stoked; how did you even find this company? I’ve never seen anything like this before, check it out-”

Frantically, Lena grabbed his hands and shushed him, glancing around surreptitiously to ensure that no one had overheard before waving him into room one, which had been recently vacated. “In here,” she instructed him, and he wheeled the hand cart into the room. Lena shut the curtain quickly and turned around, her index finger still over her mask. 

“Top secret mission,” she told him in what she hoped was parlance he’d readily understand.

Winn’s eyes widened and he repeated quietly, “Top secret mission.” Lena blew out a breath in relief and she nodded. “You’re Lena Luthor of Luthor Corp, aren’t you?” he whispered. 

Lena closed her eyes, imploring the universe to grant her patience. “Can you please, please keep that to yourself?” 

Winn was practically vibrating out of his skin with excitement. “Oh man, yes ma’am, your secret is totally safe with me, this is probably the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m a huge, huge fan of your work, truly groundbreaking, gosh, that piece you did on nanoparticles, wow.”

Lena smiled, finding his starstruck monologue somewhat endearing, but put her hand up to stop him. “Thank you, Winn, I truly appreciate it, but can we return to the subject at hand for a moment?”

“Oh yeah, the Oxygenix. So, check it out,” he said as he finished ripping open one of the boxes. He pulled out a device that looked like the bottom half of a scuba diver’s mask. “This is really ingenious technology. The guy said that they modeled these after the ones that Navy SEALs use, isn’t that cool? They use rebreather systems because when they’re doing recon, they don’t want to make bubbles in the water and give their position away, so they came up with this carbon dioxide scrubber. Venturi basically adapted the concept but also added an ultrasonic wave nebulizer so you can add medication, that’s this reservoir here.”

Lena examined the piece he was showing her. “So one could add a bronchodilator to continuously facilitate gas exchange…that’s brilliant. What’s the flow rate?”

Winn bobbed his head happily, looking dazzled. “Standard sixteen liters per minute all the way up to sixty.”

Lena picked up the device and hefted it. It couldn’t have weighed more than three pounds. “Is this carbon fiber?”

“Yep,” he replied, “and it even came with a UV hood for easy sterilization between uses.”

For a moment the pair just fawned over the mask together before Lena said, “I really appreciate you doing this for me, Winn. I couldn’t have found a better person for the job. And I’m sorry that I had to swear you to secrecy, it’s just that-”

“If people found out who you were, it would be a whole thing,” he finished. 

Lena smiled at him gratefully. “Exactly.”

“Well, I just showed up here to help. I don’t have a medical background, I’m an IT tech. But they said they needed orderlies, and I can push a wheelchair as good as anyone, so I showed up.” His eyes twinkled. “But I would much rather be your super-secret assistant.”

“Ah, ‘hospital technologist,’” Lena corrected. 

Winn popped his volunteer badge off and tucked it into his pocket. “Yes, right.” 

Lena looked around the room thoughtfully. “I’d like to combine this room and the one beside it into a holding area where dyspneic patients can stay and receive treatment until they can get a bed in the hospital. If the prototype in this tent proves feasible, I’d like to expand to all four of the other triage tents.” She leveled her gaze at Winn, who was listening attentively. “Can I put you in charge of this? I can find you some helpers.”

“Not necessary, I’ll just ask James,” Winn said, already beginning to unpackage the rest. “You just go do your doctor stuff, Dr. Luthor. I’ll let you know when we’re ready to go.” 

Feeling satisfied, Lena thanked him again and left the room, joining Kara across the hall where she had just started assessing a patient with a rash and a cough. “Got another one,” Kara muttered to her nervously. “We’re gonna run out of rooms.”

Lena shook her head, trying not to betray her excitement. “I think we’ll be just fine, Dr. Danvers.”

//

In no time, Winn, James, and two other helpful CNAs had successfully set up what Winn referred to as “the breathing room” (which Lena found clever.) They pulled down the wall separating the first two cubicles and scavenged the hospital for more cots. By the time they were done, they had set up six cots, all in a row, each equipped with its own respirator. When their endeavor was complete, Lena pulled Kara and Nia in to show them, nervously explaining that someone had donated them to the hospital, and Winn happened to be familiar with their use. Whether from the lateness of the hour or pure stress or some combination of both, neither of them questioned it. Kara broke protocol and hugged Lena, jumping up and down excitedly, and Nia had burst into relieved tears. They moved Kara’s three elderly patients on the waiting list to their new beds and Winn demonstrated the proper use of the therapy to everyone assigned to the tent. He had become so good at this explanation that he started to sound a bit like an infomercial, and Lena wondered if she could convince Melissa at Venturi to give him a job as a rep. All three of the patients’ symptoms and vitals improved almost immediately, prompting Kara to go off in search of patients in the other tents that needed oxygen therapy. She brought three back and distributed the rest of the Oxygenix units to the other doctors in triage. After a couple hours, Nia finally started getting texts indicating that beds in the ER had become available, and they began sending the patients inside, forced to prioritize the younger and healthier ones.

As Nia had promised, the continuous influx of new patients dropped off precipitously in the wee hours of the morning, and by 5:30 am the tent was quiet. Lena settled herself in front of the TV tray in room eight with a stack of SOAP notes from all the patients they had seen that day. She finished the charts from memory to the best of her ability, then gave them to an orderly with instructions to take them to medical records. She knew they would probably be shredded, but she wanted to adhere to protocol as best as she could regardless. Lena stood up and stretched, yawning. It wasn’t uncommon for her to stay up this late at her regular job, but she usually managed to get to bed just before dawn threatened to break. She realized it had been a long time since she’d seen Kara, so she walked down the hall to the breathing room.

Lena peeked around the corner, and sure enough, Kara was sprawled fast asleep in a folding chair beside Mr. Mitchell, her long legs splayed out in front of her, head tipped back and mask slightly askew. All the other patients had received their golden ticket for a bed inside, but Mr. Mitchell, being the oldest and sickest, remained. Lena looked back and forth down the hallway to ensure she was alone, then leaned on the door frame, indulging herself for a moment to gaze warmly at Kara. She tucked her hands in the pockets of her borrowed scrub top, playing with a bracelet she’d discovered there several hours ago that Kara must have forgotten about. She snored softly in her sleep, her mask sucking in toward her face and then fluttering out. A stray lock of her hair had gotten free of her ponytail and plastered itself to her forehead. Lena had to fight the compulsion to walk over to brush it aside, fix her mask, and maybe... 

Lena’s reverie was broken suddenly by someone speaking outside the tent, causing Kara’s blue eyes to suddenly appear behind fluttering lashes. Once she was able to focus, Kara smiled sleepily at Lena and whispered, “Hey.” Lena, embarrassed at being caught, gave her an awkward wave. Kara sat up, readjusted her mask, and motioned for her to come over, pointing at Mr. Mitchell’s hand. Her portable pulse-ox read “97%.” The rattle in his chest was still audible, but he was at least temporarily stable and better oxygenated. Lena nodded and gave Kara a thumbs up, but Kara pointed at her and whispered, “Thanks to you!” Lena rolled her eyes and flapped her hand dismissively, but the serious look on Kara’s face remained, making Lena worry that she hadn’t entirely bought her story about an anonymous benefactor. 

“Dr. Danvers? Dr. Luthor?” Nia said, appearing in the doorway. Lena looked up, expecting Nia to tell them that a new patient had arrived, but she was pointing at her phone happily. “Mr. Mitchell got a bed!” 

The drowsiness dropped abruptly from Kara’s face and she leapt to her feet and gently shook his shoulder. “Mr. Mitchell? Mr. Mitchell!” 

He opened his eyes and Kara carefully removed his respirator and turned it off. After a few seconds he cleared his throat and grunted, “Told you to call me Jack, Dr. Danvahs.”

Kara giggled and patted the top of his head. “I told you to call me Kara, Mr. Mitchell. You got a bed!” 

The old man’s eyes widened and his face split into a smile. “Oh, that’s real good. Willya call Mary and tell her?”

“You know I will,” Kara replied, fixing his collar and sounding a little choked up.

He nodded. “That’s good. You got her numba?”

Kara held her phone up. “Yep, right here,” she said, pulling up her camera. “Give her a thumbs up for me, Jack.”

He obliged her and she snapped the photo just as James wheeled in a chair. “Your chariot awaits, Mr. Mitchell,” he said, walking over to the bed to help Kara and Lena get him to his feet and into the seat.

“Thanks, kids,” he said to them, catching his breath. He pointed at Kara. “Don’t you forget about the donuts.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Jack. I never forget donuts,” Kara assured him, blinking back tears. 

He winked at her and said, “See you in a little while,” as James wheeled him out. As soon as they were gone, Lena approached Kara and rubbed her back, tentatively comforting.

“He owns a bakery on 1st avenue,” Kara explained to Lena. “He wants us to come by when all this is over. He said coffee and donuts are on the house.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Auscultate: listen with a stethoscope  
> CC: chief complaint  
> SOB: shortness of breath  
> SOAP note: stands for "Subjective, Objective, Assessment, Plan" This is the format we use to organize patient encounters. Subjective includes history of present illness, Objective includes (for the most part) physical exam, Assessment is what we think potential diagnoses might be, Plan is what we tell you to do in terms of treatment  
> Pulse-ox: the thingy they put on your finger to read your pulse rate and blood oxygen saturation  
> COPD: chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, ie, emphysema and chronic bronchitis  
> Bilateral: both sides  
> Ringers: Lactated ringers, ie, IV fluids  
> CNA: certified nursing assistant  
> PA: physician's assistant (what Nia is)  
> Acute abdomen: When a patient has significant abdominal pain of unknown origin, something we take very seriously  
> YOF: year old female  
> YOM: year old male  
> RLQ: right lower quadrant. We split the abdomen up into 4 quadrants: right upper and lower, left upper and lower. Where your pain is helps us narrow down what we think it could be in terms of diagnosis  
> Ectopic: ectopic pregnancy, ie, a pregnancy outside of the uterus  
> Bronchodilator: a substance used to open the airways of the lungs, such as a rescue inhaler
> 
> I will try to do this for the rest of the chapters, too! If I missed anything and you'd like clarification, please feel free to ask in the comments


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday, all. 
> 
> Be well, be safe, thank you so much for reading.

Dawn broke and Lena had just started to nod off again when an unidentifiable crescendo of sound coming from somewhere beyond the tents wheedled its way into her subconscious. She was on her third pass over the abstract of a study about the pharmacokinetics of hydroxychloroquine, slumped over in a folding chair with her chin in the palm of her hand when it started. Perplexed, she picked up her head and cocked it to one side, trying to reconcile the sounds of clapping and cheering and metal objects being percussed against one another with the fact that all major sporting events had been cancelled for weeks. Across from her, Kara bolted upright, almost tumbling off the cot she’d been passed out on, her bewildered face framed by a halo of frizzed-out blonde hair.

“Is there a baseball game?” she slurred sleepily, “what’s going on?”

Lena tucked her phone into her pocket and stood up, gritting her teeth as blood rushed into her mangled toes and made them throb. “I don’t know,” she said, tugging a yawning Kara off the cot, “let’s go find out.”

As soon as they got outside, Lena understood. People were packed onto their balconies in the buildings surrounding the hospital parking lot, many of them holding up homemade signs thanking the healthcare workers of Willowbrook Hospital. Volunteers emerged from the other triage tents, waving and smiling up at them as the entire city embraced them in gratitude and clamorous applause. 

“They’re thanking us,” Kara said, her head craned back. Lena only nodded, unable to form words around the sudden lump in her throat. Kara found her hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing it. One by one, the rest of the team from triage three joined them, and Lena allowed herself to bask in the feeling of camaraderie, something unfamiliar to her.

“They do this every day at shift change,” Nia explained when the noise died down and people started to disappear back into their apartments.

Kara let go of Lena’s hand and wiped her eyes unabashedly. “Shift change? Does that mean we’re done?”

Nia nodded and patted Kara on the shoulder. “Yep, that’s it, boss. Shifts are twelve hours long; the day crew is arriving now. That’s Dr. Arias walking over. She’ll run this tent until we get back tonight.”

A mask-less brunette woman wearing dark purple scrubs approached them, calling greetings to everyone she passed. “Hey, Nia. Managed to survive another night?” she asked.

“Morning, Dr. A. Actually, it wasn’t bad at all, thanks to these awesome ladies.” She inclined her head at the two of them.

Dr. Arias smiled politely at Lena, but looked confused. “What happened to Dr. Thomas? Did they change her assignment?” 

“Nope, she bailed.” Nia rolled her eyes. “Like you said. I think James owes you money.” 

Dr. Arias clenched her hand and pumped her fist, then cupped her hands around her mask and yelled, “Fifty bucks!” at James, who was standing around the corner talking to Winn. He made a show of slowly backing away and trying to crouch behind Winn, who looked baffled. “I knew she wouldn’t last,” she gloated. “That microdermabrasion clinic she works at on the upper east side sent her here as a PR stunt, can you believe the nerve of people?” 

Lena shook her head and clucked her tongue to display her disbelief, thinking that it sounded like something Luthor Corp would do. Kara muttered, “what is dermabrasion?” under her breath. 

“Anyway, hi, sorry, I’m Sam Arias,” she said, sticking an ungloved hand out to Kara, who reached out shook it without a second thought while Lena cringed. “Oh, don’t worry, I had the virus weeks ago,” she explained when she offered her hand to Lena, who hesitated before shaking it tentatively.

“That must be so convenient,” Kara said with a tone of genuine envy. “I’m Kara Danvers, this is Lena Luthor. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. You both just got here last night, huh?” Dr. Arias asked, leaning around them casually and peering in through entrance of the tent. “What’s left?” she asked as an aside to Nia, who shook her head.

“All done,” she replied.

“All done?” Dr. Arias looked at Nia like she was joking. 

Nia shrugged. “Dr. Danvers is like a triage artist; we could barely keep up with her. We sent our last patient to the ICU over an hour ago. Haven’t had anyone since.”

“Sorry, you’ll have to excuse my confusion,” Dr. Arias said to Kara and Lena, “I’m used to Thomas leaving this place looking like Beirut every morning with a bunch of patients left waiting to be seen. What’s with the boxes?” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Winn and James, who had started breaking down the packaging the Oxygenix respirators had come in. 

“We have new respirators,” Nia explained. “Dr. Luthor… uh…. found them.”

Dr. Arias crossed her arms and studied Lena, smiling but looking skeptical. “You just found some respirators laying around?” 

“They were in the basement,” Kara offered helpfully. 

“Uh huh,” Dr. Arias replied, scanning Lena slowly from head to toe. Her eyebrow lifted ever so slightly at Lena’s shoes. “What did you say your last name was?”

“Luthor.” Lena enunciated, returning Dr. Arias’ shrewd gaze evenly and praying she didn’t push it. Kara rocked on her heels and her eyes bounced back and forth between the two of them. 

“Have you been volunteering here long, Dr. Arias?” she blurted loudly.

Dr. Arias gave Lena one final squint before turning to Kara. “I’ve been here about a week,” she replied. “I came from Gotham, I’m a neurosurgeon at Rush. The outbreak is pretty much contained there, so I figured I might as well go where I’m needed. And get this,” She said, waggling her eyebrows and looking excited, “yesterday I got to scrub in for a glioblastoma resection.” 

“Golly, that’s amazing,” Kara said, impressed. Lena scowled inwardly at the starry-eyed look Kara was wearing and looked away. “We’re from California. I’m a family medicine resident.”

Lena looked back. She hadn’t realized Kara was still a resident, and to be perfectly honest she hadn’t pegged her as a GP, either. There was a lot she didn’t know about Kara, and in fact she had about a million questions. Unfortunately, it was something she’d have to mull over later, because Dr. Arias’ eyes were once again pinning her down expectantly. She hesitated, unsure how much to disclose and wondering if it even mattered anyway. She might as well walk around wearing a billboard that said, “Property of Luthor Corp.” “I’m in research,” she said succinctly. “Biotech, diagnostics, pharmaceuticals.” 

“Wow,” Dr. Arias said, “all that, huh? You know, I was just talking to someone in the lab yesterday. They said their team is looking for talent. I can put in a word for you, if you’d like.”

It was an unexpectedly kind offer, and Lena had to admit it was tempting. She opened her mouth tentatively to say she’d think about it when she caught Kara’s crestfallen look out of the corner of her eye and immediately backpedaled. “Oh, no, I appreciate it, but I think I’d rather stay out here with-erm, where the action is,” she said, catching herself and darting a glance at Kara, whose shoulders slumped in relief. 

Nia threw her arms around the two of them and squeezed. “Yeah, Dr. Arias, please don’t split up my power couple.” Lena, a little flustered at both the hug and the phrasing, shrunk away from Nia. Surprise physical contact wasn’t something she’d ever learned to tolerate gracefully. Kara, however, leaned into it and giggled at Nia’s description, shooting a shy look at Lena, who determinedly did not look back at her. 

“Alright, well if you change your mind, just let me know,” Dr. Arias said as Nia released them. “I’m sure they’d be thrilled to have a Luthor,” she added, winking at Lena, whose insides turned to ice. Kara didn’t seem to catch it, as she too busy adjusting her mask and joking with Nia. “Anyway, I’ll let you guys go home and get some sleep. It was great to meet you, see you tonight!” With that, she waved and ducked into the tent, much to Lena’s relief. She liked Dr. Arias, she was nice and clearly competent, but she was far too astute for Lena’s comfort. 

They said their goodbyes and thanked Nia and the rest of their team before collecting their belongings in the locker room and heading to the lobby. Lena was in the middle of a daydream about flinging her heels into traffic as soon as she got in the car when Kara froze abruptly in her tracks and muttered, “Shoot.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

She clapped her palm to her forehead. “I need to go back, I completely forgot to ask the volunteer coordinator about accommodations. I don’t even know where I’m staying.” She laughed and gave Lena a sweetly sheepish look.

Without giving it a second thought and in accordance with the past two days’ track record of perfectly uncharacteristic impulsiveness, Lena replied, “Oh, you can stay with me!” 

She condemned her own stupidity the instant the words were out. Have Kara stay with her? Granted, there was more than enough room, and Kara was hardly high maintenance, but Lena wasn’t in the habit of sharing her space with anyone. She didn’t even own a pet. She mentally skimmed through the inventory of what was typically kept stocked at her various and sundry places of residence and started coming up with questions she couldn’t answer. What did Kara eat? Did she need a television? What kind of shampoo did she require to make her hair so soft? She shifted nervously, trying not to betray her inner conflict, and braced herself for what she was sure would be Kara’s enthusiastic agreement. 

To her surprise, Kara shook her head knowingly and replied, “Thanks, Lena, but I can’t do that.”

She should have been relieved. Instead, every muscle in her body tightened up to wall off the anxiety blossoming in her chest. “What?” she asked, confused, “why not?”

“No, I’m sorry,” Kara started, abashed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’d love to stay with you, it’s so gracious of you to offer, but you’ve done so much for me already. I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position just because I’m an idiot at you’re trying to be nice.” 

Lena gaped at her, attempting to compute. 

“Seriously,” Kara rambled on, her face getting redder by the second, “You gave me a ride here, you saved us last night with those respirators… I don’t know what I would have done without you! Listen, it’s completely fine, I’m just going to go back and talk to the coordinator, okay? I’ll see you tonight.” She started to turn around, but before she could get away, Lena reached out and seized her by the arm, pulling her back around. Kara stumbled a little and looked down at where Lena’s fingers were digging into her wrist, and then up at Lena’s face, bemused.

Lena nipped at her lower lip in embarrassment and released her quickly. “It’s no trouble at all,” she insisted, “I’m not ‘being nice.’ I would enjoy having your company.” She was even willing to order a television, should Kara require one, and whatever else she needed, for that matter. “Only if you want to, of course.”

Kara dipped her head and laughed softly, running her fingers through her hair distractedly and muttering something Lena didn’t catch. She looked back up shyly from under her eyelashes and said, “Well, I definitely want to. As long as you have the room.” 

Warmth flooded Lena’s chest, pushing the sick feeling of insecurity out with it. “I have room,” she reassured her quickly, an understatement that bordered on comical. “I have a condo here in the city, actually.”

“You do? Ha, here I am, homeless, and you thought to book a condo. I’m so bad at being an adult,” Kara said, rolling her eyes at herself. 

Without stopping to consider how it would sound, Lena chuckled and corrected her flippantly, “Oh no, I already owned it.” 

Kara’s eyebrows flew up. “Ah,” she said, nodding like this made sense and folding her hands in front of herself. “Right.”

“And for the record, I don’t know why you’re being so self-deprecating,” Lena added as she dug around in her purse in search of her cell phone. “You’re way adultier than I am.”

Kara goggled at her like she had three heads and Lena smirked happily at her reaction. “Are you joking? You are way more adultier than me! You have a limo! And a driver! And like-” Kara waved her hand up and down at Lena vaguely, “class!”

Lena paused in her search to level a disbelieving look at her. “I’m literally wearing your scrubs.”

“Well, yeah, but…” 

Lena found her phone and pulled it out, interrupting Kara before she could elaborate on her argument. “I’ll just text George and let him…” she started, but trailed off when she saw she had ten missed calls and the most recent text message that had appeared on the screen said:

Jess (10/4/2020 7:42 am): IF YOU DON’T ANSWER THE NEXT TIME I CALL, I WILL CONTACT THE POLICE.

The text above it was a string of crying face emojis and exclamation points.

“Kara,” she said as her phone started to ring again, “will you excuse me for just a minute?” she spun on her heel and made a frantic beeline for an alcove near the reception desk and swiped to answer, nodding at the disgruntled looking employee behind the desk as she blew by. “Hello, Jess, I’m fine, there’s absolutely no reason to call the police, I-”

“LENA?!” She grimaced and held the phone away from her ear. “THANK GOD. Where are you? What the hell is going on?” 

“Jess, please calm down, I’m fine.” 

“Fine?!” Jess’s voice cracked and suddenly Lena had the mental image of her standing in her empty office in a state of panicked dishevelment. “How can you be fine? Your smoothie AND your latte are on your desk, and I don’t see you here drinking either of them! Where are you? Should I send a car? The phone has been ringing off the hook since yesterday and I’ve had to cancel all your appointments, you have to meet with the board this afternoon, and-”

“Jess, I am begging you to calm down and stop talking for a second. Listen to me.” Lena inhaled deeply. “I’m in Metropolis and I am going to be here for the foreseeable future. I’m going to need you to cancel all my appointments for at least the next two weeks.”

“WEEKS?” Jess screeched. Lena winced and held her phone out to arm’s length, wondering if she’d qualify for cochlear implants after this. “METROPOLIS??”

“Jess, please.” Lena glanced around the corner to check on Kara and spotted her on the far side of the lobby kneeling in front of an older gentleman in a wheelchair, adjusting his footrests and explaining something to his wife animatedly. 

After a beat of silence and with feigned placidity, Jess repeated, “I’m sorry, weeks?”

“Yes,” Lena asserted, ducking back around the corner, “I came to help with the pandemic. I’m at Willowbrook Hospital working in triage.” Once she said it out loud, Lena couldn’t help but think to herself that it sounded kind of impressive. Not that she, herself, was impressive. It was just that it sounded brave. Not that she…

“Oh. Okay. Okay, well, let me see how soon I can get on a flight,” Jess replied, her voice shrill and the sound of her fingernails tapping on a keyboard audible. “I know they’re limiting travel, but I’m sure if I mention who I work for, they’ll make an exception…” 

Lena swapped her phone from one ear to the other. “Jess, NO. Don’t you dare come out here, it isn’t safe. I’m serious. And anyway, I need you to take care of things for me there, and-”

The tapping sounds stopped. “You don’t even know the ingredients to your own smoothie.”

Lena closed her eyes and sighed. She wasn’t wrong. “You can text them to me. I’m not completely helpless, Jess.”

“Hm.”

“And anyway,” Lena continued, “it’s not like I’ll be alone. I…uh…I made a friend.” She pursed her lips and peered around the corner again. Kara was now performing an otoscopic exam on a small child, and there seemed to be a line forming behind her. Lena leaned against the wall, watching her. “She’ll be staying with me.”

“What are the symptoms of a stroke? I think I’m having one.”

Lena rolled her eyes but smiled. “I’m sure you’re fine. Listen, I have to go, but can I text you a list of stuff I need? I had to borrow scrubs and I think I might have to amputate six of my toes before I go back in tomorrow.” 

“Yes, of course,” her long-suffering assistant replied with a heavy sigh. 

“Thank you, Jess. You know how much I appreciate you.”

“Uh huh. One more thing, what do you want me to tell Mr. Luthor? Stephen called me like four times this morning asking where you are. He’s getting pushy.”

“Just…don’t say anything,” Lena instructed, her blood pressure rising. It was a topic she’d been avoiding at all costs. “Ignore them. I’ll call Lex.”

“Okay…” Jess said, in a way that conveyed that she didn’t think this was a reasonable course of action but didn’t want to argue. 

“I’ll text you my list. And check your Venmo in a few minutes, I’m going to send you something.”

“That is absolutely unnecessary, Lena. Please-”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Goodbye, Jess.” Lena hung up and sent her a quarter of her yearly salary for her trouble. She earned every dollar she made, working for a Luthor. 

//

The limo pulled up onto the cobblestone roundabout outside of the main entrance of one of the oldest and most ornate buildings in Metropolis, the Winchester. Lena preferred it to all her other residences because it was different. Everything the Luthor family owned in National City was newly built in the modern style and utterly devoid of personality. Lex was a big believer in clean, continuous lines and soulless austerity: he claimed it fostered productivity. Lena, on the other hand, appreciated character. She had loved the Winchester at first sight, its gothic façade made her want to curl up in front of a fire with a hot toddy and a novel by one of the Bronte sisters. She bought the building despite Lex’s protests, but hadn’t been back in years. She had spent a large portion of the drive from the hospital wondering what Kara would think of it. When Lena told her that she owned a condo, it was reasonable that she would expect something a little more chic, a little less Addams Family. Of course, there was nothing Lena could do about it now, other than hope Kara shared her affinity for vaulted ceilings and gargoyles. 

The front wheel of the car bumped up against the curb as they came to a stop and sent Kara’s head rolling off Lena’s shoulder, where it had spent the better part of the past twenty-five minutes. Lena never met anyone outside of the feline persuasion that could nap as effectively as Kara, she’d been out like a light moments after they left. The centrifugal forces of the car weaving its way though the city had sent her sliding along the length of the bench seat until she had landed up against Lena’s right side, an eventuality that Lena was not opposed to in the slightest. Kara’s eyes popped open and she smacked her lips, looking around dazedly and startling when she realized how close they were. “Shoot, sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she said, skootching herself backwards.

“No need to apologize, it was a long night,” Lena told her, trying not to betray her amusement as she collected her purse and pulled her mask back up from where she’d had it hanging around her neck. “We’re here.” 

Kara waited courteously for George to open the door (she was learning) before getting up and turning to hand her out. Lena gasped and cursed under her breath as her bandaged toes squished up against the front of her shoes when she stood, but thankfully Kara was too preoccupied with gawking up at the front of the building to notice. “Are those gargoyles?” she asked, scrunching her face up as she squinted.

“I believe those are supposed to be cherubs,” Lena replied through gritted teeth, doing her best to hobble over the uneven surface of the driveway and up the curb. Kara stuck her elbow out when she noticed Lena’s feeble attempts at levitation, and she hooked her arm through it gratefully.

“Pretty sinister looking cherubs,” Kara commented genially as the doors slid open to admit them, her head swiveling as she attempted to absorb the dimensions of the lobby. Lena steered the two of them toward the elevators, mincing along a single six-inch step at a time.

“I prefer them like that,” Lena muttered under her breath as she fished through her purse for her elevator key card. When she found it and looked up, Kara’s eyes were twinkling. Lena cleared her throat and pressed the call button, saying, “welcome to the Winchester,” as they stepped into the elevator. Lena inserted the key card into the slot marked “penthouse,” glancing at Kara for her reaction, but she was too busy running her fingertips reverently over the gold filigreed handrail. The elevator whisked them up to the very top of the building, the sixty-fifth floor, and the doors opened smoothly, depositing them directly into the suite.

In comparison with the other three penthouse apartments she owned, the one at the Winchester was modest, but the view had no competition. The arched windows ran floor to ceiling on two sides, and the ones facing east overlooked an unimpeded view of the Atlantic Ocean. Even Lex, on one of his rare visits, had managed to compliment it before launching into one of his usual tirades about old buildings and sunken costs and terrible water pressure. The morning sunlight filled the room and lent the brooding architecture a cheerfulness that Lena appreciated as she gently urged a dumbstruck Kara out of the elevator.

“Wow,” she said as she allowed herself to be drawn inexorably toward the window, standing so close to the pane her nose was practically pressed up against it. Lena watched her out of the corner of her eye while she sank onto the couch and peeled her shoes off her feet. Maria had left her a pair of fuzzy pink slippers beneath the ottoman and Lena practically wept in gratitude. She pulled her mask off her face next, rubbing the bridge of her nose where the metal piece had spent the night digging in. She thought about a shower in a way that bordered on obscene as she studied her crackled knuckles and hoped that Maria had also had the foresight to stock the bathroom with lotion.

“This view is incredible, Lena,” Kara said, interrupting her train of thought. “This whole place is amazing; I love the architecture.”

Lena’s head popped up. “You do?” she asked, surprised, her face splitting into a broad smile as Kara turned to look at her over her shoulder. 

Kara’s eyes widened ever so slightly when they met Lena’s face and she paused before replying, “Yeah, you’re-” 

She bit the sentence off, looked shocked at herself, and tried again. 

“-It. It’s beautiful.” She gestured around wildly. “This place.” She dropped Lena’s gaze hurriedly and turned back around, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Thank you,” Lena said to the back of Kara’s head, her stomach awash in fluttery butterfly wings for reasons she couldn’t begin to articulate. She stood up slowly, her toes and every other joint in her body throbbing. “Let me show you your room.” 

Kara followed her down the hall to the one guest bedroom that was on the opposite end of the suite from master bedroom. She had called ahead the day before to warn the staff that she was coming, but she still half-expected the room to be bare. She never had guests stay overnight. To her relief, the bed was made up and the bathroom was stocked with toiletries and towels. Granted, the towels were each monographed with an enormous, excessively cursive “L,” but Lena wasn’t in the habit of complaining about things that other people ordered for her. 

Kara thanked her politely, her cheeks a little red for reasons potentially related to the ones responsible for Lena’s indigestion, but she didn’t stop to speculate on it. She left Kara to her own devices and shuffled across the apartment to her own room, already stripping as she kicked the door shut behind her. She showered, applied Neosporin and rebandaged her toes, removed her nail polish, clipped her nails, coated her hands in lotion, texted Jess her shoe and clothing order, forwarded the inventory that Melissa Zacharias at Venturi had sent her to her supply manager, emailed instructions to her lab assistant, and dreaded, dreaded, dreaded calling her brother. 

//

“Well, well, if it isn’t my wayward baby sister,” Lex drawled, the tinny quality of his voice suggesting he had her on speaker. Lena closed her eyes and hoped he was somewhere innocuous and by himself, like his office or car. He had very few compunctions about holding private conversations with her in inappropriately public places.

“Hello, Lex,” Lena returned, doing her best to match the tone and cadence of his voice. The floor of eggshells she was endeavoring to walk across were as thin and jagged as broken glass. She slid off the edge of her bed and began to pace the length of the room in her fuzzy pink slippers, twirling the ends of her wet hair around one finger. When he didn’t reply fast enough, Lena filled in the silence, a compulsion that almost always backfired but she had trouble controlling. “I suppose Jess filled you in on my whereabouts.”

“Under some duress,” he admitted casually. Lena cringed at the connotation. “Although I wouldn’t question her loyalty too stringently, Lena. I think she might be genuinely worried about you.”

“She has nothing to worry about. I’m perfectly fine.” 

“Indeed, you will be,” Lex’s amiable tone slipped, briefly revealing the metallic irritation beneath, “when you’re in a helo headed for the airport in thirty minutes after I hang up this phone.”

Lena paused her relentless pacing to get her bearings, putting a hand over her heart like she could coax it into calming down like a nervous puppy. She wasn’t in the habit of defying her brother, but she couldn’t concede to this. “Unless you plan to have tuxedoed goons hit me over the head and drag me bodily to the airport in a burlap sack like a cartoon villain, I won’t be doing any such thing.” It was all out of her mouth and into the ether before she could get a chance to think about what the ramifications would be. Lena held her breath, but to her astonishment, Lex laughed.

“A cashmere sack, perhaps. I don’t own anything in burlap, darling.”

Lena was well-trained, and his laughter was usually a good sign. She smiled too, cautiously, but her relief eroded her sense of self-preservation and she dropped her guard too quickly and started rambling. “Listen, Lex, I won’t stay very long, I promise. I really just want to stay through the peak. Jack can run the lab while I’m gone, just for a couple weeks. I worked a shift last night, and-”

“For fuck’s sake, Lena!” Lex roared, the sound of his fist slamming into something solid reverberating through the phone. Lena jumped, fumbling her phone but catching it before it hit the ground. She sank down onto the edge of her bed, smoothing out the wrinkles in the coverlet obsessively. She wouldn’t cave in this time. She wouldn’t. This mattered too much to her, too much was at stake. What would Kara think if she just bailed?

“I’m not leaving, Lex.”

“You might leave in a fucking body bag, Lena,” he snarled. 

Lena smirked. “Worried about me, big brother?” 

“What I am worried about are the six clinical trials currently running without your supervision,” Lex erupted, prompting Lena leap to her feet and begin pacing again. “What I am worried about is the funding proposal you were supposed to make to the board this afternoon. What I am worried about, Lena, is your common fucking sense. My company stands to make billions on a vaccine for this thing, and instead of working on one, you’re in Metropolis playing doctor in a parking lot!” 

Lena wished ardently for a scotch. She glanced at the time on her phone and decided a stiff Bloody Mary would do. “Jack can run the labs and make the proposal,” she forced out, squeezing her phone so hard the plastic casing creaked. “And I can still work from here, when I’m not on shift.” That was stretch, given she was practically dead on her feet, but she had to appease him somehow.

“Oh, is Jack aware of these expectations you have of him?” Lex sneered, “he agreed to this in advance? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you took the time to solicit his help before you abandoned your work and made off for Metropolis on a whim.”

“I will call him as soon as we get off the phone. I’m quite sure he won’t have any objections,” Lena replied, halting and robotic. Her ears were starting to buzz, and her jaw felt like it had been encased in cement.

“I wonder, does Jack ever tire of you draining his life force day in and day out without so much as a wink in return?” 

That did it. She smashed the “end call” button before she could stop herself and threw her phone across the room onto the bed, trying not to scream. She did her best to steady herself, to do her breathing exercises: in and out, in and out. 

Let it go, Lena.

But she just kept staring fixedly at the black screen, waiting for him to call back and tell her that someone was on the way to collect her, someone who would drag her out of the condo by her hair, perhaps. Her joke about the goons and the burlap sack wasn’t that far from the truth, although Lex would deny it, laughing and telling her, oh Lena, don’t be so dramatic. 

It wasn’t that bad.

//

“Hey, there you are!” Kara said cheerfully when Lena finally defeated her own inertia and dragged herself out of her room and into the kitchen. “I thought maybe you were sleeping; I was trying to be quiet.” 

Lena padded over and slumped into one of the stools behind the counter, which was covered in the trappings of a breakfast-making in progress. Kara was tending a large assortment of pots and pans on the stove, her shoulder bobbing up and down as she stirred something. “I hope you like omelets, I tried to find pancake mix but there wasn’t any. Lots of veggies, though! Hence my omelet idea…although I couldn’t find any cheese, do you have cheese? I made coffee, if you want any, it took me a minute to figure out how to work your coffee maker, very fancy, so if it’s gross, I’m sorry.”

When Lena didn’t respond to her barrage of commentary, Kara turned around, her bright smile dropping off her face precipitously as it occurred to her that perhaps helping herself to Lena’s entire kitchen was a rude thing to do. “Is it okay that I’m doing this?” she asked uncertainly, holding a spatula aloft and pointing at it. Her hair was down and still a little damp from the shower, and much wavier than Lena had expected. She wore glasses (something else Lena hadn’t expected), a tank top with the Wonder Woman “W” on the front, and ratty National University sweatpants that hung down so low on her hips that the band of what Lena thought were boxers peeked over them. She made a mental note to never let her eyes wander down anywhere near the vicinity of Kara’s waist ever again and dragged the corners of her mouth up into what she was sure was a charming rictus. “Of course it’s okay, this is lovely. You didn’t have to make me anything.” 

Kara twirled the spatula absentmindedly and cocked her head, examining her face with big, concerned eyes, prompting Lena to get up and head for the cabinet for a coffee mug to escape her scrutiny. “Are you okay?” she asked. 

Lena pulled out one of many nondescript mugs and wondered how many times Kara had asked her that question so far. She slammed the mug down and started pouring, contemplating whether Kara would be more or less concerned about her mental state if she added a slug of the scotch that was sitting primly on the counter on top of a note from Maria that said, “Welcome back, Ms. Lena!”

“I’m fine, just tired.” She turned around slowly and took a sip of scalding black coffee just to have something to do that wasn’t facing Kara’s unconvinced expression. 

“Yeah, it was a long night,” Kara replied uncertainly to convey that she knew it was more than that. She picked the pan up off the stove and gestured with it. “Sit.” Lena did as instructed as Kara flipped the finished omelet easily onto a plate and made some last-minute adjustments, finally setting it in front of her with a flourish and a grin. She tucked her hair behind one ear and looked at Lena expectantly. The omelet itself was flawless, perfectly golden, bursting with what was obviously every single vegetable Maria had stocked in the refrigerator, and beside it was a bunch of cut-up strawberries arranged in the shape of a heart. 

Lena took one look at it and burst into tears. 

“Oh my god. Oh no. Is there a hair?” Kara darted a hand out to snatch the plate back, horrified, but Lena pulled it away and shook her head, laughing a little despite herself. 

“No, no, I’m sorry, Kara, it’s perfect.” Mortified, she put her hand over her face. “You’re being the sweetest person imaginable and I’m being insane.”

Kara came around the counter and slid into the stool beside her. She pulled Lena’s hand away from her face gently and handed her a napkin. “I don’t think you’re being insane. I think you had a really long, extremely stressful night, and you’re exhausted, and you just got off a really difficult and awful phone conversation.”

Lena froze mid eye-dab. “I thought you didn’t hear that.”

Kara shrugged and smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I was trying to give you an out. I didn’t hear any specifics, if that makes it any better.”

“Probably didn’t need to,” Lena replied miserably, crumpling the napkin up and plucking a strawberry off the end of the heart. She chewed slowly; her jaw hurt. “It was my brother.” 

“I didn’t realize your relationship was so…” Kara cast her eyes at the ceiling, trying to find a diplomatic word. “Contentious.”

“He isn’t happy with my decision to come here.”

“Because he’s worried about you?” Kara asked, giving her an opportunity to lie in case she preferred to escape the conversation.

“No,” Lena replied honestly. “He’s worried about his company.” She took a deep breath and squeezed her hands together in her lap. She felt guilty that she was letting her omelet get cold, among other things. “I haven’t been entirely forthcoming with you, Kara.”

“Why?” Kara asked guilelessly, “because you haven’t told me you work for a multi-billion-dollar biotech and pharmaceutical corporation?”

Now it was Lena’s turn to stare at Kara like she had three heads. “You knew? This whole time?” she asked breathlessly.

“Uh, well Lena, your last name is Luthor.” Lena dipped her head in concession. “It seemed like an awfully big coincidence. Plus, um.” Kara fidgeted with the lettering on her sweatpants, deciding how much to tell her. “I might have recognized you. I’ve read practically everything you’ve published, and I’ve seen your picture in Nature and on a few interviews you’ve done.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lena asked, stunned.

“Because I assumed there was a reason you didn’t just tell me.” Kara said earnestly, meeting her eyes and holding them. “I figured if we got…you know, friendly…you’d bring it up when you were ready. And it’s not like it matters to me.” 

“It doesn’t? You don’t think the Luthor family is bunch of greedy, power-hungry despots?” Lena asked bitterly, clenching her fists in her lap harder.

“I know you aren’t,” Kara clarified firmly. “Actually, from what I remember, you saved a whole bunch of people last night. That doesn't seem very despoty to me.” She reached out and covered Lena’s fists with her hands. “You aren’t your family, Lena. And your brother can feel free to fight me.” 

Lena snorted, the tight coil in her chest unraveling just a little. “He wouldn’t dare.” She smiled at Kara gratefully and wiped her eyes. “I don’t understand why you’re so sweet to me.”

Kara laughed and leaned over her, plucking a strawberry off her plate and popping it into her mouth. “I have a huge crush on you, can you not tell?” Lena flushed from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet as Kara stood up. “You should eat before that gets cold,” she said, pointing at Lena’s plate and winking as she walked back around the counter toward the stove. 

Obediently, Lena pulled her plate over and picked up her fork. She took a bite and she thought about her family, but she didn’t take her eyes off Kara.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past time for an update! 
> 
> Enjoy, and please see the note at the bottom for the glossary. I did the same for chapter 2, which was also fairly dense with medical lingo. If there's ever anything you'd like clarified, please just let me know in the comments. 
> 
> Thank you kindly for your comments, kudos, and subscriptions.
> 
> Be well.

As usual, anxiety wrenched Lena awake exactly one minute before her alarm was scheduled to go off, a habitual occurrence that made her wonder why she ever set an alarm in the first place. She pulled her phone up to her face, squinting at the brightness of the screen and swiping away the dozens of text messages, emails, and missed calls that she couldn’t deal with until she was fully caffeinated. She groaned and stuffed her face into her pillow. She’d only slept for a couple of hours, having to spend most of her time off making arrangements for her work in National City to continue in her absence. If her circadian rhythm hadn’t been trashed before, it was now. Her brain was buzzing like a nest of moderately disgruntled hornets and her body was approximately the density of a dying star.

Lacking the strength to push herself upright, she opted to logroll bonelessly across the bed until she reached the edge, and then oozed over the side onto her feet like a viscous liquid. She staggered to the bathroom to wash her face, pulling her hair up into a high bun as she went. Would Kara expect her to eat dinner after having just woken up, or would she opt to make another breakfast? She seemed like the two-breakfast type. Examining her reflection in the mirror, she pulled her hair back down, hypothesizing that Kara would prefer a lightly disheveled look. 

In the kitchen, there was no sign of Kara. Disappointed, Lena ambled down the hallway to tap on her door, but it was wide open, the bed neatly made. Doing her best to ignore the pessimistic voice in her head telling her that Kara had bailed at the first opportunity, she walked back to the kitchen and did a more thorough inspection. This yielded a note in plain sight on the counter that read:

Lena,

Nia texted me she was going in early because things are getting crazy at the hospital, so I grabbed an Uber and went in too. I checked to see if you were awake but you weren’t and we never gave each other our phone numbers, haha! A bunch of packages came for you so I signed for them and left them on the coffee table. 

There wasn’t a whole lot of food besides a bunch of vegetables so I ran down to the corner store and grabbed some cereal and milk. I got three different kinds because I didn’t know what you liked, and I didn’t know if you drank regular milk so I also got almond, I hope that’s okay! 

See you tonight! <3  
Kara (213-945-8294)

Lena smiled and put the folded-up note in her pocket, then opened the door to the pantry where she found Wheaties, Honey Nut Cheerios, and an open box of Lucky Charms. She appreciated that Kara had intentionally chosen a variety, but it didn’t really matter because she’d never tried any of them in her life. Well, maybe that wasn’t true. Perhaps she had, at a long-forgotten friend’s house at some point in her dismal childhood, but she felt like such a highlight would be something she remembered, considering her usual breakfast option was a single piece of rye toast or, later, a can of Slim Fast. Or nothing at all if Lillian thought that she was getting too heavy. That was the word she always used for it: heavy. One would never, for example, use the word “fat,” or god forbid, “chunky.” Those were words one might use to describe, say, peanut butter. Something else she had never tasted until well into adulthood. 

After a brief pretense of deliberation, she selected the box that Kara had already eaten out of and carried it along with the unopened almond milk to a chair at the kitchen table, thinking about what Kara had written in her note. The epidemiological models all predicted that Metropolis was still at least a week away from the peak number of cases. If Kara made it a habit of going in early, Lena was afraid she would burn herself out. Or worse. She poured her cereal, distracted, and when she glanced down at her bowl she audibly gasped and looked around, as if her mother would manifest in the middle of her kitchen and strike her dead. 

“These are just marshmallows!” she declared out loud, shaking the bowl and examining the different shapes. Ensuring that Lillian was nowhere in sight, she plucked a leprechaun hat tentatively off the top and popped it into her mouth where it immediately dissolved into its constituent monosaccharides. Eyes wide with glee and feeling rebellious, she filled the bowl all the way up and doused it in almond milk, appreciating Kara’s excellent taste. She opened her phone and re-read her texts as she shoveled cereal into her mouth, each bite another satisfying step on her inevitable path to diabetes.

Jack (10/4/20 2:16 pm): They said yes. Some caveats/kinks to work out but they said they can postpone on details until you’re back in town.  
Me (10/4/20 2:16 pm): THANK YOU THANK YOU! I owe you!!! You’re the best! ;-)  
Jack (10/4/20 2:18 pm): Np  
Me (10/4/20 2:18 pm): Did they say anything about me not being there?  
Jack (10/4/20 2:23 pm): John Swyzer made some dumbass joke about how he liked you better without a beard  
Jack (10/4/20 2:24 pm): But when I said where you went they seemed confused/surprised. At first they thought it was some kind of PR thing, they were pissed marketing made such a big decision without their approval  
Me (10/4/20 2:24 pm): Was Lex there?  
Jack (10/4/20 2:32 pm): Nope  
Me (10/4/20 2:33 pm): Did you tell them it was my decision to come here?  
Jack (10/4/20 2:35 pm): Nah I just avoided the question. It’s not there business  
Jack (10/4/20 2:35 pm): ***their  
Me (10/4/20 2:36 pm): Right. Thank you again, Jack  
Jack (10/4/20 2:38 pm): You’re welcome.  
Jack (10/4/20 2:58 pm): Pretty worried about you thought, not gonna lie.  
Jack (10/4/20 5:14 pm): Lena?

Lena set her spoon down and poised her thumbs over the keyboard, chewing slowly and contemplating her reply. After several rounds of typing, deleting, and retyping, she finally groaned and slapped the phone face down in defeat, staring pensively out the window at the tiny boats on the water far away. She wished she were on one of them so she could consign her phone to the waves and be done with it all. In lieu of that as an option, she picked it back up and texted Kara instead.

Me (10/4/20 5:21 pm): Hi! This is Lena. Thanks for the cereal  Eating now, should be there 6-6:30

Lena still wasn’t entirely clear on what Kara had meant when she told her she had a huge crush on her. She hadn’t offered to elaborate on her statement and Lena hadn’t asked her to. She’d pretty much just kept her head down and eaten her omelet, watching Kara cook and listening to her chatter. Ultimately, she decided to operate based on the assumption that Kara had just been teasing her. What was there to crush on, anyway? It was obviously said in jest. Nonetheless, she replayed the mental clip of it again (for science) while she saved Kara’s number in her phone. 

She polished off her first-ever bowl of Lucky Charms and tipped the bowl into her mouth, draining the weirdly blue milk dregs like a barbarian. Then she collected her packages from the coffee table and dumped them onto her bed. Jess had sent no less than seven pairs of navy-blue scrubs, two pairs of Allbirds, and a pair of neon pink crocs with a note attached that said, “LOL jk, jk.” Lena got dressed and slid her feet into the crocs, striking a Kardashian pose and taking a picture of herself in the full-length mirror. Grinning, she sent it to Jess with a “Thanks! ”

On her way out the door, she finally returned Jack’s text.

Me (10/4/20 5:40 pm): I’m fine Jack, don’t worry about me.

As if it were that easy and he could just turn his feelings off, like she did. 

//

Lena arrived at the hospital and looped her brand new Litman stethoscope around her neck, heading for triage tent three and feeling much more herself than she had the previous night. It was amazing what wearing scrubs that actually fit and shoes that didn’t feel like lightly modified bear traps could do for self-esteem. She wasn’t sure if it was an artifact of arriving earlier than they had yesterday, or if it was just much busier in general. Either way, the entire parking lot was swamped with people, and the ratio of those wearing scrubs to ones that weren’t was rather disconcerting. Coughing people in masks stood around everywhere, some in line outside of the triage tents, some just looking lost. The volunteers all seemed to be jogging wherever they went, and the air was full of a frantic energy that wasn’t present twelve hours ago. Winn ran past her pushing a wheelchair and she called his name in greeting, but he only threw a cursory “Hey, Dr. Luthor!” over his shoulder before barreling through a crowd of people in the same direction she was going. Lena sped up, getting worried.

She got to the tent and ducked in, running smack into James as he was rushing out. He caught her and pushed her gently to one side, saying urgently, “go to room four!” before sprinting off toward the hospital. Lena ran to room four with her heart in her throat and found Kara on her knees performing chest compressions on an unconscious middle-aged man in a baseball cap. 

“I’m here, what do you need?” Lena asked, dropping to her knees on the other side of the patient. Wisps of Kara’s hair were plastered to her forehead and heat was radiating off her like she had just run a marathon. 

“Swap with me,” Kara panted, discontinuing her compressions and slumping down on her heels, out of breath. She wiped the sweat off her forehead with her arm and leaned forward on her palm to pump the ambu bag as Lena positioned herself on the man’s left side and took over. Kara continued, sounding distraught, “I found him on the ground when I came back in here to take him to the breathing room. I don’t know how long he’s been down, but it must have been awhile. I should never have left him alone.”

Lena counted her compressions to the tune of “Staying Alive.” “Not your fault, Kara,” she huffed. chanced a quick glance at the patient’s face. His ashen complexion underneath his cap, which said “#1 Dad!” made Lena’s stomach turn over. 

“It is my fault. I’m in charge of this tent and I fucked up,” she replied miserably. 

Before Lena could reassure her, James burst back into the room carrying the AED. He slammed it onto the cot behind Lena and tore open the case, unravelling the pads and wiring and handing the pads down to Lena. Kara cut the man’s Mavericks jersey off with a pair of bandage scissors, saying, “I’m sorry, Mr. Avery,” under her breath. Lena placed one pad over the apex of his heart and handed Kara the other. She turned the machine on and the three of them waited tensely for it to analyze. As soon as it beeped and said it was ready to deliver the shock, Lena called “clear!” and punched the button. The AED re-analyzed and flashed, “asystole.”

“James, can you find me some epi?” Kara asked, restarting compressions. He leapt to his feet and ran off.

“Where’s Dr. Arias?” Lena asked.

“Up at. The hospital. Losing. Her shit. Trying. To get. Us help,” Kara replied, her words punctuated by the rhythm of her compressions. “Ready?” Lena nodded and pumped the ambu bag twice before taking over. Kara rubbed her sore wrists and continued, “she’s been running both triage three and four since she got here today. The doc in charge of four had to be sent home to quarantine, she tested positive.” Lena’s eyes snapped up, wide, and Kara nodded grimly. It was inevitable, but still shocking. James reappeared with a vial and a syringe and handed it down to Kara. She drew up the liquid and injected it into the patient’s arm. 

“Shocking again,” Kara said, fumbling for the AED. “Clear!” She hit the button, but the machine still couldn’t find a rhythm.

“Kara,” Lena said gently, “we should call it. He’s gone.”

Kara ignored her and restarted compressions, her ponytail swinging wildly side to side as bobbed up and down, her expression almost manic as she drove her body weight into the heel of her left hand. Her glasses slid all the way down and hung off the tip of her nose.

“James,” Lena said, “will you please go check on Dr. Danvers’ other patients?” 

He nodded grimly, looking at Kara sympathetically. “Just holler if you need me,” he told Lena, and left the room.

Lena tried again. “Kara.”

“Nope,” Kara panted, shaking her head adamantly. “He was just. On Facetime. With. His kids. Like twenty. Minutes. Ago.”

“You did everything you could,” Lena insisted, but Kara refused to look at her. It wasn’t in her nature to give up. “Kara, the AED can’t find a rhythm,” Lena continued, doing her best to keep her voice even. The only sound in the room was Kara’s heavy breathing and her stethoscope slapping against her chest. “If he’s PARVID positive, the longer we spend doing this the greater our chances are that we’ll contract it too, and then we won’t be any help to anyone.”

Kara lifted her head, her eyes blazing. “Someone loves this man,” she ground out in a strangled voice. She whipped off her stethoscope and searched for a heartbeat manually, down his chest at each post: aortic, pulmonic, tricuspid, mitral, and back up again. With every change in position, her shoulders sagged more and her head dropped lower. Finally, she stopped and sat all the way back, clutching her stethoscope in one hand so hard her knuckles were white. 

“Time of death, 6:58 pm.” 

Kara dropped her head into her other hand and Lena crawled over to her. “He has a family,” she whispered as Lena wrapped both arms around her. Her shoulders started to shake just as the cheers started to emanate from the buildings above them.

//

Hours later, Lena plucked the needle driver and suture out of Dr. Arias’ hand decisively and plopped down in a chair facing a sullen teenager with a lacerated hand. 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Luthor,” she introduced herself to him as she set the needle driver down on the table and unraveled the blood-soaked towel he had wrapped around his hand. “I’ll be taking over for Dr. Arias,” she said pointedly, glancing at her, and Sam grumbled something Lena didn’t hear. She scrubbed the blood off the patient’s hand gently with a piece of gauze soaked in hydrogen peroxide and said, “This will hurt, but I’ll try to be fast.” She picked her tools back up and examined the wound. It was ugly and ragged. She bit the hook into the flesh of his palm deftly and pulled the suture through, drawing it closed.

“Ow,” he said mildly, without flinching. Lena cast him an approving look. He added, “I’m Justin. Nice to meet you.” Lena used her fingertips to loop the suture twice over the tip of the needle driver and tied off the stitch while he watched what she was doing with interest. 

She could still see Dr. Arias out of the corner of her eye, standing there with her arms crossed, looking like an indignant zombie. “Go home, Sam. I’m serious this time.” The bags under her eyes were deep and purple, and Lena was afraid her mask was becoming embedded in the skin of her face. 

It was past midnight, and Kara and Lena had both been begging her to go home for hours, but she refused. At first, it was for good reason. Between the time that Lena had arrived and up until not long before, the influx of patients had been constant, and Sam’s pleas to the administration for help had gone unanswered. The entire hospital had been converted into a makeshift ICU, and she was told that they needed everyone they had. In fact, they were considering pulling volunteer staff off the triage lot, something that seemed impossible at the time, as all five triage tents were packed with people and ambulances were lined up around the block. 

Kara had taken over triage three shortly after she arrived, Sam had gone to four, and Lena had been moonlighting between the two of them. The system had worked well for a while until the PA and two nurses from triage two had been sent home by their attending as well, and Kara started splitting her time between that tent and her own. 

“But you need me,” Sam insisted unconvincingly, punctuating her statement with a loud yawn. 

“We need you back tomorrow, well-rested,” Lena said, and snipped off the ends of a third knot, feeling rather pleased with her needlework. Kara was right, it did come back quickly. Just like riding a bicycle. Or at least Lena assumed as much, having never ridden a bicycle.

“Are you sure?”

Lena rolled her eyes at her patient and he snorted softly behind his mask. “Yes, I am sure. Kara said it’s starting to slow down.” Lies.

“Alright. You have my number if it gets bad again and you need me.”

“Thank you, Dr. Arias,” Lena said, “please go. Get some sleep.” Sam squeezed her shoulder briefly before she left. Justin’s eyes followed her out of the room as Lena finished her last stitch and snipped the ends. She picked up a roll of gauze and some tape and started to wrap it.

“Thanks,” he grunted, watching her mummify him with interest.

“You’re welcome,” she replied as she finished and gave him his hand back. He placed it gingerly in his lap and looked at her expectantly, waiting to be discharged. Instead, she asked, “would you like to tell me how you got cut?” 

He sighed and looked off to one side. “Just…chopping up onions for dinner. I slipped.” He shrugged and attempted to flex his fingers, wincing.

Lena glanced at her watch. “Kind of late for dinner, isn’t it?”

“I guess.” 

“Okay.” Lena said, and waited a moment until he looked back at her to check if she had finished with her interrogation. She reached out deliberately and grasped his other wrist, flipping his arm over to reveal a large yellow bruise that she’d spotted soon after walking into the room. 

“Did you acquire this chopping onions as well?” she asked mildly. He shifted uncomfortably and took his arm back. “Listen, this is confidential. Nothing you say leaves this room. If someone attacked you with a knife, I need to know. Is that what happened?” 

Unable to meet her eyes, he replied, “Nah. I slipped cutting an onion, like I said.”

Lena sighed and picked up the slip of paper serving as his chart and scanned it until she found his age: eighteen. “Alright,” she said, digging around in her scrub pocket and producing a pen and prescription pad. On the pad she wrote the address of the Winchester and signed her name at the bottom. “Have an Uber take you here. When you get in the lobby, go straight to the desk and tell them Dr. Luthor sent you and give them this. Tell whoever is there, either Fred or Mary, to give you a room. I own the building, so you won’t have a problem. There’s a restaurant and small shop on the first floor. If there’s anything else you need, just call the desk”

“Are you serious?” he asked, taking the piece of paper from her hand tentatively.

“Completely serious,” Lena replied, stuffing the pad back into her pocket and standing up to leave, snapping her gloves into the trash can by the door. Before she left the room, she turned back. “Is it your father?”

At first, he looked like he didn’t want to answer, stuffing the piece of paper she gave him into his pocket with his good hand and holding the bandaged one up to his chest. Finally, his eyes skated across hers briefly and he gave her an almost imperceptible nod. 

Lena gestured at the note in his hand. “Please feel free to stay as long as you like. I’ll check on you tomorrow.” She left the room and rubbed absentmindedly at an old scar on the inside of her wrist.

//

“How’s it going over here?” Kara’s voice floated over Lena’s shoulder as she stood at the sink washing up, having just finished diagnosing a man who had chest pain with angina. The patients that were unlikely to have PARVID were being funneled to tents four and five, as only the first three were stocked with Oxygenix units. In the space of about five hours she’d seen everything from cholelithiasis to malignant hypertension. She was feeling sort of proud of herself, not that she’d admit that.

“Not bad,” Lena replied casually, drying her hands off and turning around. “You were right. I’m better at this than I expected to be.” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully as Kara plopped into one of the folding chairs against the opposite wall of the tent and chuckled.

“I told you,” she said, stretching her legs out over the other two chairs and leaning her head against the wall. She crossed her arms and closed her eyes. There was something off about her, but Lena was too tired to place it. “Sorry I didn’t come check on you sooner, it’s been kind of crazy.” 

Lena strolled over, intending to sit beside her, but stopped suddenly in her tracks as she registered what it was. “Where’s your mask?” she demanded in alarm. “And your poncho?”

Kara cracked one eye open and startled when she saw Lena looming over her. “Oh, uh, I got puked on just now and I had to toss them.” She fished around in her pocket and produced her crumpled blue fabric mask and held it up. “I still have this, don’t worry.”

Lena put her hands on her hips. “That is hardly sufficient. Why didn’t you go get a new N95?” 

“I tried,” Kara insisted, “but the hospital is out of everything. N95 masks, ponchos, all of it. Gloves are getting scarce, too, if you aren’t a large. So at least I have that going for me.” She held her hand up, palm out, and grinned roguishly in an attempt at distraction. Lena’s traitorous eyes flickered momentarily to assess the extended hand for the truth of her statement before she pulled them away decisively. The corner of Kara’s mouth curled, and Lena scowled at her disapprovingly. 

“I’m sorry, Lena, I’m not trying to upset you. But what am I supposed to do? If there’s no equipment, there’s no equipment. And anyway, I would want them to save what they have for the people working the ICU.”

Her stubbornness irritated her, but her selflessness made Lena feel warm. She nudged Kara with her knee and she promptly swung her legs off the other chair so Lena could sit down. She patted her thighs with both hands and Kara replaced her legs on her lap obligingly. She rested her hands on Kara’s knees and said, “I understand, but you can’t work without the appropriate equipment.” 

Kara seemed lost in thought. As if by its own volition, one of her hands started to wander closer and closer to Lena’s until their fingers brushed. “Don’t you think it’s just a matter of time before I get sick anyway?” she asked quietly, not looking up. 

“Absolutely not,” Lena balked, “not if I have anything to say about it.”

Kara looked up and giggled when she saw Lena’s expression. “Yes, ma’am,” she said emphatically as she pushed her glasses up on her nose with the hand that wasn’t occupied. The one that was crept forward another inch so just the ends of their fingers were laced together. 

Lena swallowed and decided to pretend like she didn’t notice. “I’m serious. I’m going to have a word with the administration.”

Kara looked like she wanted to tease her again, but she was interrupted by Nia striding through the entrance of the tent. Her eyebrows flew up when she caught sight of the two of them. “Uh, sorry to interrupt-” Kara and Lena flew apart like shrapnel into their respective chairs “-but a few beds just opened up in the ICU, so we can send a few patients into the hospital. I just need to know who to prioritize.” Lena noticed Nia was equally poncho-less and wearing a cloth mask as well. 

“Okay, great,” Kara said, fumbling for her mask and standing up, “I’ll be right there, Ni.” Still looking quite amused, Nia nodded and ducked back out of the tent. 

Lena followed Kara to her feet and caught her wrist before she could put her cloth mask on. “Hold on.” She doffed her own mask and stepped close to Kara, placing it carefully over the lower half of her face. Her eyes enormous and slightly crossed, Kara watched as she leaned forward and tucked the bands behind her ears, and then, impulsively, brushed a loose strand of hair back, too.

“Lena, no…” Kara said, her plaintive tone muffled by the mask. “What about you?”

Lena plucked the cloth mask out of Kara’s hand and donned it, trying not to react when she realized it smelled just like Kara. “I’m going up to the hospital to speak to someone in administration about PPE, like I said. Will you please ask Dr. Rogers to mind this tent while I’m gone?”

“Sure, but…”

Lena pulled her poncho over her head and stuffed it into Kara’s arms. “Here’s this, too.” She turned to leave. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Wait,” Kara said, and Lena stopped, eyebrow quirked, then her heart palpitated violently as Kara stepped directly into her space, close enough to make the wadded-up plastic poncho in her arms crinkle. She pressed her forehead against Lena’s and said, “thank you. You are so amazing.” She held Lena there for a second before backing away, rubbing the back of her neck apprehensively. 

Floored and with her heart in a puddle on the ground at their feet, Lena squeaked, “you’re welcome.”

//

She took a seat in the front of the ornate oak desk that dwarfed the woman sitting behind it and said, “Thank you for meeting with me, Dr. Grant. I know it’s early.” 

Cat Grant, the hospital administrator, took a sip out of her steaming mug of coffee and regarded Lena shrewdly. She looked about as grumpy as one might expect so early in the morning. “Who the hell are you, again?” 

A tendril of aromatic steam wafted over and curled up the through the bottom of Lena’s mask. Suppressing an envious shudder, she replied, “my name is Lena Luthor.”

“Luthor,” Dr. Grant repeated, leaning back in her chair and folding her hands primly in her lap. “As in Luthor, the family that owns Luthor Corp?”

Lena mirrored her posture, the way she had been taught, and mentally braced herself for the fallout her reply would generate. “That’s correct,” she said, and did her best to return Dr. Grant’s withering gaze with professional neutrality.

“Would you mind telling me which one of my staff allowed you to bribe your way into my office at six o’clock in the morning, Dr. Luthor? I’d like to draw up their termination paperwork.” 

Lena smiled at her bluff. “Oh, not to worry, I showed myself in,” she returned easily, “I’m sure you can’t afford to lose any more staff right now, which brings me to the reason I’m here. I’d like to talk to you about personal protective equipment for the triage unit.”

“What about it?” she clipped.

“It’s nonexistent,” Lena replied, pointing to the cloth mask she was wearing. “And I’d like to find out how I can help you rectify that.”

Smoothly, Dr. Grant unclasped her hands, reached over, and pressed the button on her telephone intercom and said, “yes, hello Kathleen. It’s Dr. Grant. Will you send security to my office, please?” She released the button and turned to Lena. “I’m not interested in selling my hospital or involving the Luthor family in its operations in any way, shape, or form. I don’t know what you think your angle is here, but I’m not falling for it. You can walk out, or security can show you out.”

Pleasantly surprised and impressed by the woman’s pluck, Lena merely uncrossed and re-crossed her legs, then asked mildly, “Do I look like I’m dressed for a business acquisition meeting?” 

Slightly taken aback, Dr. Grant scanned her. “No. I suppose not.”

“I’m a volunteer here,” Lena explained, “my company has no interest in buying your hospital.”

“Really?” Dr. Grant retorted, “as far as I’m aware, Luthor Corp has been swallowing up small hospitals just like this one all up and down the west coast like a cancer. I don’t think its unreasonable for me to assume you’ve metastasized all the way out here.” She crossed her arms and sniffed condescendingly. “In the middle of a pandemic, no less.” 

Lena pulled her volunteer badge out of her pocket and tossed it across the desk. Dr. Grant looked down at it, and then up at the door as the security guard walked in. He walked up and stood behind Lena’s chair, but Dr. Grant held one finger up to him.

Seizing her opportunity, Lena cut to the chase. “Dr. Samantha Arias met with you yesterday afternoon and said that you alluded to having financial problems. There are workers in your parking lot dropping like flies, and I assume it’s worse in the ICU. There isn’t so much as a mask left out in the triage area, and I would hazard a guess that the reason is that you’re being outbid by another city. That makes sense, this is a small hospital; the monetary burden is too great without help from the government, which you aren’t getting. I would like to relieve you of that burden. Tell me how much money you need for the PPE, and I will transfer it to you.”

Dr. Grant narrowed her eyes and lowered her finger slowly. “You know Dr. Arias?”

“I spent most of the night working with her,” Lena replied. 

Dr. Granted turned to the security guard and said, “False alarm, Andrew. Thank you.”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied. He paused with his hand on the door knob and turned back. “She’s right, y’know.”

“Yes, thank you, Andrew.”

He nodded and walked out. Grinning behind her mask, Lena settled back to await Dr. Grant’s verdict. She studied Lena inquisitively, sipping her coffee. 

“Why?” she asked.

“Why what?”

“Your company isn’t exactly known for its philanthropy,” Dr. Grant said frankly. “I find it odd that you’re here volunteering, and I find it absolutely unsettling that you’re trying to offer me a ‘no-strings-attached’ cash injection.”

Lena hesitated. She wasn’t wrong, it did seem sketchy. Then Kara’s voice floated helpfully through her head: you aren’t your family. 

“I don’t agree with the way my brother runs the company,” Lena said truthfully. 

“Yet you work for him.”

Lena tipped her head to concede the point. “Yes, but I’m the chief scientist. I’m able to do a lot of good despite him, and I don’t get involved in the business side of things very much.”

Dr. Grant snapped her fingers and pointed at her. “Exactly. You think you can hide in your lab and avoid carrying the stigma of what Luthor Corp is known for, price-gouging and inflation and the destruction of small hospitals, god knows what else.” Lena gritted her teeth and gripped the armrests of her chair hard enough to make them creak but held her expression in check. “If you don’t have any stake in ‘the business side of things,’ as you say, how is it that you’re able to pay for my PPE?”

“The company isn’t paying for it,” Lena replied evenly, “I am.”

Dr. Grant rested her chin on her thumb and forefinger. Behind her, the sun peeked over the horizon and Lena allowed herself to wonder how Kara was doing while Dr. Grant considered whether she preferred to accept her offer or fling her out the window.

“To outbid Graston, I would need almost two million dollars,” she said finally, in a way that implied she believed that the amount would be a dealbreaker.

Rather, Lena pulled her phone out of her pocket and said, “fantastic, I’ll just round up to an even two million then, if you’re amendable to that.” She started typing, but Dr. Grant held up her hand.

“Hold on, you still haven’t answered my question.” Impatiently, Lena sighed and lowered her phone. “Why are you doing all this? Wouldn’t your talents be put to better use working on a vaccine or a treatment? Forgive me, but I still think it’s strange that you’re on the other side of the country doing grunt work when you could be serving the greater good, be that as it may.”

Lena looked back out the window at the buildings being slowly illuminated by the rising sun. From their vantage point on the sixth floor, she could see onto individual balconies. Most were still empty, but there was a woman on one that was standing at her railing, looking down at the workers in the parking lot, holding a pot and a metal spoon. An American flag with an Asclepius staff superimposed on it fluttered in the wind behind her. 

There were dozens of explanations Lena could come up with to answer Dr. Grant’s question, but she suspected that there was only one that she would actually believe. She tore her gaze away from the woman and leveled it at Dr. Grant. “I felt like I was losing touch with my own humanity, and coming here was the only chance I had at restoring it.” 

Dr. Grant blinked slowly, and a smile ghosted across her face. She straightened some papers on her desk in front of her and said, “an even two million is more than enough, thank you.”

Lena nodded once and resumed typing up the wire transfer.

“Would you like a cup of coffee, Dr. Luthor?”

“I’d love one,” Lena replied. 

//

By the time she got back down to the parking lot, it was past shift change. A new group of volunteers had arrived, and she spied Kara in tent three, showing them the ropes and explaining the Oxygenix. Lena left her to it and walked over to the break tent, where should found Sam sitting at a table eating a donut and sipping tea. Lena fell into the seat across from her. “Good morning. Back so soon?”

“Morning,” Sam said around a mouthful of donut. “How’d it go with Grant? Better than it did for me, I hope.” She rolled her eyes and took another bite. “She’s a tough cookie.” 

Lena fidgeted. “Kara told you what I was doing?”

Sam snorted and choked on her donut, grabbing for her tea to wash it down. “Of course she told me, you’re all she talks about. Lena this, Lena that. Lena saved the day again. It would be annoying if it weren’t so cute.”

Color rose in Lena’s cheeks. “Oh.”

“Well, did you?” Sam pressed. 

“Did I what?”

“Good lord. Save the day again? She said you guys ran out of PPE early this morning, did you work some Luthor magic?” She rubbed her thumb and forefinger together and winked.

Lena fiddled with the bracelet in her pocket that she’d transferred from her scrubs the night before and nodded, doing her best to clear the fuzz in her brain. “Well, Dr. Grant and I would prefer our dealings were kept confidential.” Sam groaned and rolled her eyes again. “But yes, you should have a shipment arrive sometime in the next few hours.” 

“Ha!” Sam reached across the table with her hand up and Lena obliged her with a high-five. “New PPE AND fully staffed tents? It’s my lucky day!”

Still flustered, Lena stood up. “Yes, I’m going to go see if Kara is done and let her know.” 

“Tell me what?” Kara asked, appearing around the corner and looking back and forth between Lena and Sam. “Did you get the PPE?”

Shyly, Lena gave her an awkward thumbs up. “Yep, got it.”

Kara crossed the room in three long strides and scooped Lena off the ground and into her arms, spinning her around gleefully. She set her back on her feet but kept her hands on her waist and held her at arms-length. “I knew you could do it,” she said proudly. They stared at one another brightly.

“You two are the model of social distancing,” Sam remarked. The two of them jumped apart and Lena shot Sam a sheepish look. She grinned and waved a hand at them. “Go home,” she said, “get some sleep.”

//

Exhausted beyond belief, Lena clambered into the back seat of the limo after Kara, who cocked her head and opened her arms: an invitation. Too worn out to be self-conscious, Lena slid across the bench and laid her head on Kara’s proffered shoulder as George shut the door behind them. 

“That was a long night,” Kara said, squeezing Lena against her side and resting her chin on the crown of her head. Lena just hummed happily in response. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been hugged like this, but it was probably when she and Jack were still dating. Kara loosened her grip slightly and pulled back. “Is this okay?”

Lena tugged Kara’s arm back around her. “It’s fine,” she said, as if that were all it was. 

Kara squished her happily. “Okay, that’s good. I’m pretty snuggly.”

Lena laughed softly. “Yes, I’ve noticed.”

“And you’d tell me if I was…you know, too much, right?”

“You’re not,” Lena reassured her, “but yes, I would tell you.” 

For a little while they rode along in silence, watching the buildings pass the window. The streets were more deserted than they had been, and Lena felt both relieved and saddened by it. 

“You know, doing this is really hard,” Kara said suddenly, her voice shaky. “Like, I thought I knew how it would be, but it’s worse.”

Lena thought about the baseball cap. #1 dad. She nodded against Kara’s chest, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I agree.”

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m really glad I have you. I can’t believe we’ve only known each other for a couple days. It feels way longer than that. You know?”

“Trauma bonding,” Lena replied quietly, unable to say anything else.

Her head rattled as Kara chuckled humorlessly. She squeezed Lena again and fell silent, contemplating. Several minutes passed before she spoke again.

“But that’s not all it is, right?”

“No,” Lena breathed, so quietly she wasn’t sure if Kara could even hear her. “That’s not all it is.”

//

The doors of the elevator slid open and revealed a bald, oversized man sitting on Lena’s couch leaning forward on his elbows with his hands clasped, facing them. He wasn’t wearing a tuxedo, but he did have on a very nice suit. Lena appraised it rapidly. Probably Armani.

“Good morning, Rocco,” Lena greeted him pleasantly, stepping smoothly in front of a baffled Kara.

“Good morning, Ms. Lena,” he replied, his voice like boots over gravel. 

“I don’t remember inviting you for breakfast,” she said, scanning the room and trying to remember if she a taser hidden anywhere. When she looked back at him, he was holding it up and getting to his feet.

“Time to go home. Come with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AED: defibrillator  
> Ambu bag: Bag valve mask, picture a balloon with a mask attached, used to deliver breaths if you aren't doing mouth-to-mouth during CPR  
> Asystole: Flat line, no rhythm  
> Compressions: Chest compressions, as in CPR  
> Epi: Epinephrine, the thing doctors in shows yell. "Push 2 mL epi!" It's adrenaline, gives the heart a jump start  
> Aortic, pulmonic, tricuspid, mitral: The four valves of the heart. During auscultation, we listen at each post, which correlates with a different valve.  
> Needle driver: Like a big pliers used to grip the suture needle  
> Suture: Sewing up a person thread  
> Angina: reduced blood flow to the heart causing transient intense chest pain  
> Cholelithiasis: Gallstones trapped in the bile duct  
> Malignant hypertension: Blood pressure >200/120  
> N95 mask: The kind with the filter on it
> 
> Disclaimer: Please do not actually share your mask with other people, even if you are massively, ridiculously gay for them. It isn't safe. I mean, we'll let Kara and Lena do it, but you shouldn't.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends,
> 
> Little late on the update. Life got unexpectedly out of hand this week, which slowed me down a lot. Fortunately, things improved and I finally got a chance to write, which meant the floodgates opened (fellow writers know what I'm talking about here) and I ended up with more than 10k words, which to me is too much to pack into one chapter. Therefore, I'm splitting up what I have into two chapters: this is the first part. You'll notice that this one is a little shorter than usual, and the split is the reason why.
> 
> Since the second half is nearly done (or at least I think it is...I'm an obsessive editor) I'm hoping to have chapter 6 polished up and ready to go by the end of this weekend, and I will probably have it posted early next week, barring another unforeseen circumstance.
> 
> Enjoy, happy Friday. <3

“Rocco, please put the taser down,” Lena commanded, slamming a lid on her surprise and fear and trying to keep her voice even. She stuck her arm out to shield Kara and considered just shoving her backward into the elevator and sending her back down to the lobby, but she was afraid she’d react rationally and call the police. 

“Oh, whoops,” he said, looking at the taser in his hand as if he had just noticed it was there. He feigned an apologetic smile and set it down on the coffee table, putting his hands up theatrically to indicate he wasn’t a threat. “My bad, Ms. Lena.”

“Your bad, indeed.” She edged into the room carefully and glanced back and forth into the kitchen and then down the hallway, her heart pounding so hard she could feel it pulsating her eyeballs. “Where did you find that thing, anyway?” she asked, stalling.

“Lena?” Kara piped up from behind her. “Who is this?”

“Just stay back, Kara, please,” Lena hissed over her shoulder while Rocco sat back down in the armchair and bent forward to press a button underneath the coffee table. A hidden compartment flopped open and he motioned at it. 

“Remember now?” he asked, and she did. Vaguely. Whenever she bought a new residence it got outfitted with various security measures at her brother’s behest. The problem was that she never paid attention to the tutorials she received on where things were or what buttons to press in order to access them. For all she knew there was a machine gun hidden somewhere in the condo that she’d never be able to find. Stashed in a flying buttress on the patio, perhaps. Who knew? Lex was notorious for his paranoia; but Lena didn’t see the need for smoke grenades and bear spray hidden in wall paneling.

While Rocco was distracted snapping the compartment shut, Lena seized her opportunity and lunged forward to snatch the taser off the coffee table and levelled it at his chest clumsily. “Where’s Tony?” she demanded, her voice shaking. She listened in the direction of her bedroom with one ear, convinced she could hear him rifling through her things for something to blackmail her with. She half-expected for him to appear around the corner at any moment, holding her tablet aloft, wearing his usual sadistic smirk. Unimpeded by her arm, Kara tried to step around her, so Lena backed up swiftly until her shoulder blades hit Kara’s chest and sandwiched her against the wall, causing her to “oof” softly.

“Relax, Ms. Lena, Tony ain’t here. Feelin’ a little twitchy, huh?” He rubbed the stubble on his chin thoughtfully and pointed to her weapon. “That feel a little light to you?” Lena frowned and flipped the taser over, finding the battery pack missing. When she looked up, he was dangling it between his thumb and forefinger mockingly. 

“Shit,” she muttered. Defeated, she let her arms drop and the empty taser fell out of her limp hand onto the ground. 

Rocco tossed the battery pack onto the table and let out an exasperated sigh, leaning back in the chair and crossing one leg over the other. “That wouldn’t have done anything, anyway. Don’t you ever listen to me? You gotta aim at skin, love. I’ve told you a thousand times.”

“Wait, did you say Tony isn’t here?” she asked when the first part of what he had said registered in her adrenaline-soaked frontal cortex. “It’s just you?”

“’Just me?’ Ms. Lena, if I were a prouder man, I would be insulted.” 

Her knees buckled in relief and her blood pressure plummeted by at least twenty points. She freed Kara from where she had her pressed against the wall and walked unsteadily to the couch, no longer on high alert. She could handle Rocco.

“Should I call the police?” Kara asked, pulling her cell phone out now that her arms weren’t pinned and keeping a wary eye on him. He grinned at her cheerfully, exposing his mouthful of gold teeth.

“No, it’s alright, Kara,” Lena said, perching on the edge of the couch across from Rocco. Kara opted to hover over her with her arms crossed and continued to glower at him in a way that reminded Lena of Cat Grant. 

“Who is this guy?” she asked again.

“This is Rocco Manchetti,” Lena explained, “one of Lex’s henchmen.”

He looked wounded. “Don’t say ‘henchmen’ Ms. Lena, you give people the wrong impression.”

“Oh, I beg your pardon. This is Rocco, he wears an expensive suit and breaks into peoples’ homes on behalf of my brother to threaten, coerce, and intimidate them.”

Rocco sighed again in a long-suffering way, as if such insults were his cross to bear in service to the illustrious Luthors. “Look, I understand you’re not happy with me, but I really went out a limb for you, you know. Mr. Luthor wanted to send Tony too, but I says to him, ‘boss,’ I says, ‘wouldn’t it be better if I went and convinced Ms. Lena to come back voluntarily? Wouldn’t that be better for everyone?’” 

“I see. And it didn’t cross your mind to call and perhaps warn me of your impending visit? Rather than just show up and terrify me and my guest?”

“I’m not terrified,” Kara grumbled.

“I had to add a little flair, Ms. Lena, you know how it is,” he said, shrugging and looking Kara up and down. “Who’s this one who thinks she’s so tough?”

Kara started to answer but yelped instead when Lena pinched her firmly on the back of her thigh. “None of your business,” she said, shooting Kara a warning look as she rubbed the spot Lena had pinched, looking betrayed. A furrow appeared between Rocco’s eyes and he started watching the two of them with far too much curiosity, so Lena folded her hands in her lap and redirected him. “Well? Are you going lay out my brother’s demands or are we going to sit here and stare at each other all morning? We’re tired.” 

“Sure, we can skip the pleasantries,” Rocco said, sitting up and likewise clasping his frying-pain sized hands in front of him. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to pack your bags and take a car with me to the airport. Tomorrow you’re going to return to work, and Mr. Luthor will generously forgive you and forget this whole thing ever happened.”

“Generously?” Lena scoffed. 

“She’s not going anywhere with you,” Kara growled, taking a few steps toward him and balling her fists.

Bewilderment suspended Rocco in temporary stillness, and then he slapped his knees and boomed laughter. The battery pack and vase sitting on the coffee table both rattled, and a framed painting behind him fell off the wall. “Seriously, Ms. Lena, who the hell is this chick? I like her.” His gold teeth flashed merrily as he studied Kara, who was doing her best to tower over him in an intimidating manner, an unlikely feat as he was almost as tall seated as she was standing. He leaned around her so he could see Lena and commented pointedly, “sure hope Mr. Luthor won’t have to use her against you.” 

Lena’s stomach coiled sickly. She leaned forward and grabbed Kara by the hem of her scrub top and gave her a firm yank. The backs of her knees hit the edge of the couch and she folded down beside Lena, looking frustrated. “Clearly, I’m not going to leave here of my own volition, Rocco. And given Kara here as a witness, we’re at a bit of an impasse, wouldn’t you say?”

“My sister is an FBI agent,” Kara added unhelpfully. 

Lena poked her in the side and shushed her, murmuring, “Kara, for god’s sake, please stop talking,” out of the corner of her mouth. She held her breath and watched Rocco carefully. His forehead was starting to wrinkle in an ominous way and the veneer of friendliness was sliding off his face. Without warning, he sprang forward and slammed his fist on the coffee table, causing the battery pack to fly off and the vase to fall onto its side. Kara leapt back up to her feet and Lena dug her fingernails into the fabric of the couch, gritting her teeth.

“You are pushing it, Lena,” Rocco said with a raised voice and sounding far too much like his brother for Lena’s comfort. Not used to having to play the role of the bad guy, he paused to regain control of his temper before continuing. “You understand you’re making this more difficult on both of us, right? I just told you I did you a courtesy. Tony had a much different opinion on how to handle this whole thing, but I begged…begged, do you understand? I pleaded with Mr. Luthor to let me come here and deal with this myself.” He wiped his mouth. “You refuse to do what he wants, you’re gonna have major problems. I can’t always be going out on a limb to protect you, Lena, I got a fuckin’ family to think about.”

Keeping herself as still as possible in an attempt to keep from provoking him, Lena said, “I understand, Rocco.”

“Yeah, except I’m not sure that you do,” he replied, climbing to his feet. Kara squared up to him and he shook his head at her in disbelief. “Stand down, angry squirrel, I’m leaving.” To Lena he said, “I’m sorry I raised my voice, ma’am, but you and I both know the boss don’t like to be disobeyed.”

“I’ll deal with Lex,” Lena managed.

He gave her a cynical look and chuckled. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.” He buttoned his suit jacket and lumbered around the couch, patting her on the head lightly on his way toward the elevator. Lena winced as she lost an inch of her cervical spine. “Good luck, Ms. Lena,” he said, getting in and pushing the button. He pulled out his cell phone to make a call as the doors closed, most likely to update her brother on her continued obstinance. 

When she was sure he was gone, Lena released the breath she’d been holding for the duration of the visit with a shuddery gasp. “Fuck.” She let her head drop into her hands and squeezed the back of her neck, her leg jogging furiously as the panic attack she’d been battling to keep at bay came at her like a runaway freight train. 

Kara shot the elevator one last furious look and sank down onto her knees in front of Lena. “Hey, you okay?” she asked softly, collecting Lena’s ice-cold hands in hers and holding them. “You’re okay, I got you.” 

“I think I’m about to have a panic attack,” Lena grated out as every muscle in her body began to tense up.

“Yep, I know. It’s okay. Can you breathe with me, do you think?” Unable to speak out loud as her jaw locked up, she gave Kara the barest nod. “Great. Here we go, ready? In for a count of five, out for a count of seven.” Lena held onto Kara like a life raft and listened intently to her methodical counting and gentle reminders to keep breathing. After several cycles, the pressure in her chest began to dissipate and her muscles relaxed. She pried her fingers out of Kara’s hands and gave her head a shake to dispel her chaotic thoughts, wondering if she had a stash of Ativan anywhere. She lifted Kara’s hands up to her face, flipping them over to inspect the damage she’d inflicted. Eight crescent-shaped red marks lined her palms. One was actually bleeding a little.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Kara” she croaked, swiping her thumbs over the indentations and streaking blood across Kara’s palm. She hugged Kara’s hands to her chest tightly and squeezed her eyes shut. “You must think I’m crazy.” 

“I don’t think that at all,” Kara whispered ardently, tipping their foreheads together. She was so close Lena could feel the breeze from her exhalations. When she opened her eyes, big sapphire irises under long black lashes filled her field of vision. She drew back a little to bring Kara’s face into focus and was immediately overwhelmed by the intensity of her expression. She dropped her gaze hastily, but Kara tilted her chin back up with her index finger gently, her eyes flickering back and forth between Lena’s. “I never noticed your eyes were two different colors,” she said reverently. “The right one has so much blue in it.” Lena inhaled sharply and caught her lower lip between her teeth, and Kara’s gaze automatically followed the motion, her mouth falling open slightly.

The sudden loud buzzing of Lena’s cell phone startled her so badly she jumped a clear six inches off the couch, which in turn caused Kara to lurch backwards and smack the back of her head on the edge of the coffee table. 

“Oh my god, Kara I am so sorry,” Lena said, mortified. “Are you okay?”

“Yep,” Kara replied, rubbing the back of her head and wincing, “all good.” 

Lena fumbled her cell phone out of her pocket with shaking hands and opened her text messages.

Jess (10/5/20 10:33 am): Um Lena wtf is going on? Two large men just busted up into your office and they’re taking your computer and a bunch of your notebooks  
Jess (10/5/20 10:34 am): I tried to tell them to stop just now but they’re huge and mean!! I’m sorry!!!

Jack (10/5/20 10:34 am): Lex just called me into a private meeting urgently. He seems furious. Did something else happen?

She put the phone on silent and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, closing her eyes. She had a monster of a headache forming. 

“Everything okay?” Kara asked, examining her with concern but still rubbing her head vigorously.

Lena put on her best reassuring smile. “Yes, all fine. Just my assistant checking on a few things. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Kara clambered back up onto the couch beside her. “Oh yeah, no worries. I have a hard head.” 

“I’ll get you some ice,” Lena said, glad for the excuse to get away for a few seconds. She walked to the kitchen and racked her brain for anything that she might have had on her work computer that Lex could use against her. There was certainly nothing on there that could be considered blackmailable, and Lex had access to all her data and lab reports already. Lena’s survival in the company, and in her family for that matter, was almost wholly dependent on her ability to figure out Lex’s motives and stay a step ahead of him. It was the only way to mitigate the fallout from his unpredictable decisions, so when she was unable to do it, she got frightened. She wrapped an ice pack in a towel and brought it back to Kara. “Take your ponytail out,” she instructed.

Kara pulled out the pink rubber band obediently and held her hand out for the ice pack, but Lena shook her head and applied it herself, parting Kara’s hair gently in the spot where a lump was forming. “Oh, thanks,” she said, her eyes crinkling. “So, are you going to tell me what that was all about, or is this going on the list of things that we pretend didn’t happen?”

Lena made a face at her good-naturedly and Kara smiled slightly in return, but her countenance was still troubled. “That was my brother trying to get me to cooperate,” Lena explained. “There was a lot of important research in progress when I left. I put someone else in charge, and he’s quite competent, but any amount of uncertainty when it comes to the company sends Lex into a bit of a tailspin.” She paused, debating how much to admit to Kara. “My brother doesn’t like to feel like I’m out of his control. I think it scares him.”

“I believe that.” Kara scratched at the angry red spot on her cheek where her mask had been digging in all night. “Do you really think that Rocco guy would have forced you to go with him if I wasn’t here?”

Lena shrugged. “I’m not sure. I imagine Lex would prefer I went back voluntarily; it would mean he had beaten me. But now that I’ve shown him I don’t intend to be compliant, he’ll probably start putting the pressure on me in other ways.” Which, judging from the texts she’d just received, he already had. But Lena didn’t see any reason to worry Kara further. 

“What other ways?” she demanded, sitting up. The ice pack slipped and Lena repositioned it, rubbing Kara’s knee with her other hand to soothe her. “Put pressure on you how?”

By systematically dismantling her emotional state until she was nothing but a quivering puddle of plasma, most likely. 

“Oh, who knows,” she replied dismissively. “Probably cut me off financially or something. Does your head feel better?” 

“Yeah, it’s fine, thanks, but Lena-”

She tossed the ice pack onto the coffee table and clapped her hands on her thighs, standing up. “I’m starving, shall we get something to eat?” Kara looked up at her, dissatisfied. “Do you think you could make me another one of those amazing omelets?” She batted her eyelashes a little and predictably Kara’s facial crinkles smoothed out into an expression that Lena had only ever seen before on golden retriever puppies.

“Oh,” Kara said, running her fingers through her hair, “sure.” Triumphant in her consummate ability to change the subject, Lena turned to lead her to the kitchen, but Kara, not to be deterred, stood up and added, “Lena, wait. I know you don’t want to keep talking about this, but I need you to know something. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Okay?”

Because she knew it was what Kara wanted her to say, she replied, “I know you won’t.” But secretly, Lena wondered if she had any idea how implausible her statement was. Or how endearing it was to her anyway. 

//

After they finished their meal (as it turned out, Kara was equally adept at frittatas) Lena went to her room with every intention of calling Jess and Jack and doing whatever damage control she could, but made the mistake of telling herself she could rest her head on her desk for five minutes and woke up hours later with her cheek stuck to her keyboard in a puddle of drool. She swiped her face with her palm and flipped her cell phone over, groaning theatrically when she realized it was already time to go back in. 

She dressed as quickly as she could and rushed out into the kitchen, afraid she had missed Kara again, but she was relieved to find her slouched on a stool, eating cereal half-asleep. She was in a ratty white tank top and scrub bottoms, her wet hair still loose around her shoulders. Lena inhaled deeply as she walked past her and retrieved the almond milk from the refrigerator, enjoying the smell of Kara’s floral shampoo. 

“Morn,” Kara mumbled around a mouthful of cereal, managing to drag one eyelid open in greeting.

“I believe you mean evening,” Lena said teasingly, leaning across her to get the box and pouring herself a bowl. Kara grunted and her eye slid shut again, and her head drooped onto the palm of the hand that wasn’t clutching her spoon. Lena smiled to herself in amusement. After a few minutes, Kara’s mouth dropped open and she started to snore. Lena put her spoon down and rubbed her back, saying her name softly. When this elicited no response, she rubbed more briskly and said her name louder. Nothing. Lena tapped her finger on the counter, at a loss, before impulsively swooping over and kissing her on the cheek with a loud smack. Instantaneously, Kara’s eyes flew open and she bolted upright, bringing her spoon hand down directly into her cereal bowl and drenching them both in milk and marshmallow fragments. 

“Shoot,” Kara exclaimed, her face the color of the box, “I’m so sorry, I was having this dream that we were…never mind.” She took her glasses off and scrubbed at them furiously with her shirt while Lena, biting the inside of her cheek, blotted her scrub top with a paper towel. When Kara finally worked up the nerve to look at her, they both dissolved into slap-happy giggles.

“I don’t know how I’m gonna make it tonight,” Kara said, sliding her glasses back on and wiping up the table. “I’ve never been this tired in my life. I feel like I weigh a million pounds.” 

“Me too,” Lena agreed. “We’ll just have to keep each other awake, won’t we?” 

Kara smiled shyly. There were still two bright red spots on her cheeks, and she really did look worn out. “Guess so.” 

//

When they arrived, Willowbrook Hospital was in a state of disarray similar to the one they’d found it in the previous evening, except that now the hospital was outright denying patients who were seeking medical care for any condition other than PARVID. They were being sent down the road to a temporary hospital that had been set up at the convention center, explained Brian, a PA they had never met before. The triage tents were filled with people waiting for a bed in the hospital, and Dr. Arias had been called up to work the ICU shortly after she had gotten there that morning, as over half the staff were out sick. 

He had just finished debriefing them when Nia walked up. He dodged around the two of them, saying “excuse me, doctors,” and scooped her up into his arms in a bear hug. 

“How was it today?” Nia asked him as he set her on her feet.

“Horrible,” he replied simply. 

“I’m so proud of you, though,” Nia said, tucking his hair behind his ear affectionately. 

Lena tugged Kara by the hand and steered her several feet away from them, feeling intrusive. “I knew Nia was engaged but I didn’t know her fiancé worked here.” 

Kara, who knew everything there was to know about everyone she met, explained, “yeah, he was sick. He just got released from quarantine yesterday. They don’t live together, so Nia couldn’t go see him for three weeks. She said it was the worst thing she’s ever been through.” 

Lena shuddered. “Oh, that’s horrible.” She watched their casual intimacy from a distance and her mind wandered to a scenario in which she was forcibly separated from Kara. She quickly punted the thought out of her mind in dismay and distracted herself by retrieving the patient log from inside tent three. They had taken to just writing “PARVID” at the top of the diagnosis column and drawing a line down the page. As she flipped through it, Kara dropped her chin on her shoulder and leaned on her a little. 

“Hey, lovebirds,” Sam said, strolling up and pulling off her surgical cap, “haven’t I warned you two about distancing?” 

“We live together,” Lena retorted. 

Sam raised her eyebrows. “I bet.” 

Lena rolled her eyes but was pleased to see that she was sporting full head-to-toe PPE. “We heard you’ve been in the ICU all shift.”

“Yeah, how was it?” Kara asked, perking up. 

“Sucked. They just kicked me out,” Sam replied, using her toe to scrape off her shoe coverings. “They’re being really strict about the twelve hour shifts right now because everyone is getting sick. Hey Ni and Bri,” she greeted the pair as they walked over, “how you guys doing? I heard you did a great job last night, Brian.” 

“Thank you, Dr. Arias. I did my best,” he replied. 

“You always do.” She balled up the shoe coverings and stuffed them into the cap, then shot the whole thing like a basketball over Lena’s head into the trash can behind her. “So yeah, it’s a shit show in there, I won’t lie to you. You’re basically just running from code to code the entire time. I’m planning on going back to my hotel with several bottles of wine and drowning in a hot bath while watching Law & Order SVU for twenty-four hours straight.”

Brian was nodding along seriously. “That sounds like a good plan.”

“You’re not coming back for your shift tomorrow?” Lena asked. Truthfully, she hadn’t even thought about time off. She’d just assumed they would work until they dropped like she did at her real job. 

“No, shifts are three on, one off. Didn’t anyone tell you that? And don’t even think about it, Danvers, time off is mandatory.” Kara chuckled and feigned disappointment, but Lena thought she looked a little relieved. Sam put her hands on her hips and yawned. “On that note, you want to sub in for me? They need two people. I think Dr. Andrews from triage one already volunteered so they just need one more.” 

“Definitely,” Kara said at once, “put me in, coach.”

Sam nodded approvingly and patted Kara’s shoulder, but Lena was horrified. “What? No! Kara, you can’t!” 

Kara looked startled and misinterpreted her completely. “You’ll be fine without me, don’t worry! You’ve been doing an amazing job.” 

“No, it’s not that.” Lena caught the knowing, sympathetic way Sam was looking at her and a cold, bitter feeling curled up in her chest. “Will you excuse us?” Lena said, and grabbed Kara by the wrist, pulling her around the corner between tents.

“It’s really okay,” Kara said, stumbling along behind her, “they need someone, and I have the experience. You’ve been doing awesome, and you can always text me-”

“It has nothing to do with that,” she cut Kara off firmly, whirling around to face her and crossing her arms. “You heard what Sam said. It’s terrible in there. You’ll get sick. The only reason that Sam is safe is because she’s already immune.” Kara had been eager to reassure her about her own capabilities, but these concerns were a different story entirely. She dropped Lena’s gaze and rubbed the back of her neck, looking like she didn’t know what to say.

“I wouldn’t have come here if I was afraid of being exposed,” she offered, scuffing the ground with her shoe. 

“It’s different in there and you know it,” Lena said, punctuating her statements with an index finger held aloft. “Even with the new PPE, the infectious dose is much higher, which means the chances that you’ll have a more severe form of the disease are greater, and-”

“Lena, stop,” Kara snapped. Lena backed up a step, stung. “I’m sorry, but you’re catastrophizing. I’m young and healthy, and they need me in there. I’ll be fine. Even if I get sick, I’ll get over it.”

Lena doubled down. “You cannot possibly know that.” 

“Fine, I don’t. But you know what? I don’t care.” Kara stuffed her hands in her pockets and glared at Lena stubbornly, her eyebrows scrunched together.

Lena deflated. “I care,” she replied quietly. 

Kara stood dumbly with her mouth hanging open, looking like she’d been drenched in a bucket of cold water. She glanced behind her to make sure no one was watching them, then stepped into Lena’s space and grasped her upper arms in both hands. “I’m sorry, Lena, I’m not trying to be dismissive. I appreciate your concern, and I care about you, too. Like…” She rolled her head back and shook it, then looked back down at Lena adamantly. “…So, so much. And if I’m honest, I would rather call Rocco to come pick you up than let you go in there, which isn’t fair. But I have to tell you something, okay? I would rather go in there and get sick than look back at this moment in thirty years and wish that I had.”

The look on Kara’s face was so stark and vulnerable that Lena found herself wanting to tug her mask down and kiss her. Instead, she ran her fingertips lightly through Kara’s ponytail, enjoying the way gold strands seemed to imbibe the waning sunlight. She’d never met anyone like Kara before. She’d never known anyone to be so brave or selfless, or to look so beautiful doing it. “Kara Danvers,” she said adoringly, trying for a bit of vulnerability herself, “you are a truly extraordinary physician. And you are my hero.”

Kara’s eyes got glassy and she wrapped her hands around Lena’s waist to pull her closer, but Sam chose that moment to peek her head around the corner of the tent and call out, “Can you two wrap it up, please? They needed my replacement like twenty hot minutes ago.” Her head disappeared, then reappeared again a second later. “Sorry, I’m not trying to be an intrusive asshole, I know you’re having a moment, it’s just, you know.” She tapped her wristwatch and disappeared again.

They waited a moment to ensure Sam wasn’t going to pop back up before smiling at each other guiltily. “I promise I’ll be fine,” Kara reassured her.

Lena ran her hands up Kara’s arms and replied readily, “You’ll have to be. We have an entire day off and I haven’t the slightest idea how to cook. I need you to feed me.”

Kara laughed. “At your service, ma’am.”

//

Shortly after Kara walked up to the hospital with Dr. Andrews, Lena was assigned supervision of three of the five triage tents. The trend Brian had described continued well into the night, and after several hours the patients began to blur together, as they were all suffering from the same set of nearly identical symptoms. Almost universally, they came in because they felt a little short of breath, but most of them were forced to wait hours until they were seen. By the time they were seated on Lena’s exam table, they were gasping and using accessory muscles to breathe and their oxygen saturations were dangerously low. Whenever possible, Lena had Winn outfit them with one of the portable respirators, but they were scarce. There were so few beds and so many patients that Lena was shuffling the names on the hospital waiting list constantly, feeling like she was playing god. When beds opened up, she couldn’t even be relieved because in the wee hours of the morning, it wasn’t like anyone was being released to go home. Beds only became available at four o’clock for one reason, and every time there was new availability, Lena thought about Kara and wondered if she had just finished a code and was signing a death certificate. By 5:30, Lena was worn down to nothing but frayed nerves and the only thing keeping her on her feet was the constant supply of black coffee and granola bars that Winn and James thoughtfully supplied her with. 

She was sitting in the break tent choking down her third dry Nutrigrain bar of the night when an orderly found her and handed her a folded-up note. “From Dr. Danvers,” he explained, and ran off again. Lena sat up and ripped the note open hastily.

Lena,

Sorry can’t text, phones are locked up. They’re almost done with a new ward, hospital is getting a new shipment of vents and respirators this morning. As soon as it opens up you should be able to send 20-25 patients. Hang in there!

Kara

PS I’m fine, don’t worry. <3 <3 <3

Lena reread the “PS” several times before folding the note back up and tucking it safely into her pocket. She leaned back in her chair and exhaled slowly in relief. 

//

At a quarter past seven, Kara appeared in the distance, weaving her way between people and tents toward Lena. Stoically resisting the urge to go flying into her arms, Lena waited impatiently until she was at the tent entrance before rushing forward to surreptitiously squeeze her hand and ask her how her night went.

“Exactly like Sam said,” Kara replied, her eyes distant and her affect flattened. “Can we get out of here?” 

“Yes, of course,” Lena agreed, handing her stack of notes to the doctor who was replacing her. They had sent most of the patients on the waiting list up to the new ward when it opened, so only tent one was occupied, making the transition easy. They said goodbye to Nia, Winn, James, and the rest of the staff, who all looked equally dead on their feet. Kara was so subdued that Lena found herself giving the motivational, “thank you for your service,” speech to them in Kara’s stead while she stared off into space. She didn’t speak at all on the car ride back to the condo, and even more worrisome, she didn’t sleep, either. She just looked out the window, and when they arrived, Lena had to prompt her to get up. 

“I’m sorry I’m so out of it,” she finally said in the elevator on their way up. “It was a really shitty night. And I’m so tired.” 

“Don’t be sorry, I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been,” Lena reassured, wrapping an arm around her. She guided her toward the couch, pulling a pillow onto her lap as she sat and patting it encouragingly. Kara didn’t hesitate, she kicked her shoes off and lay down immediately, removing her glasses and putting her head down. Lena took out Kara’s ponytail and spread her gold hair on the pillow, working out the kinks with her fingertips and scratching her scalp while she waited to see if Kara would speak.

“There were so many,” Kara said haltingly after several minutes had passed, fighting tears. “There were so many, and I tried so hard, but-” She reached around herself to grasp Lena’s hand and stuffed her face into the pillow, her body shaking violently as she sobbed. Wordlessly, Lena stroked her hair and let her cry until they both fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday, Supercorp stans.
> 
> Thank you for your continued readership. Writing this fic is the only thing keeping me sane right now. 
> 
> Be healthy, be safe, be well 
> 
> <3

“Hey Lena?” Kara called to her from the kitchen over the sound of cabinet doors being opened and closed. “Where’s your spice cabinet?” 

Lena was perched at her desk in her bathrobe with a fishbowl-sized glass of pinot noir in one hand and a towel twisted up in her hair, staring at the screen of her laptop in disbelief. She had several tabs open on her browser: one was her checking account, which boasted a balance of a whopping $32.56, the next an “access denied” firewall on the login page of Luthor Corp’s internal research database, and the icing on the cake, an email from the Luthor Corp legal team demanding that she forfeit the right to all of her intellectual property at the company. She picked up her phone and texted Jack, rage rising in her throat like bile.

Kara spoke again, this time from just outside the door. “Lena?” She tapped lightly. “Sorry, I can’t find where you keep your spices.”

Lena slapped her phone back onto her desk and shook her head, clearing the furious expression off her face like an etch-a-sketch. “Be right there!” she announced with fabricated cheerfulness. She doused her errant emotions in several gulps of wine, then unraveled the towel on her head and let her wet hair fall into its natural waves, scrunching it lightly with her fingers. The last thing in the world that Kara needed to be dealing with was her personal stress. She had only just recently recovered from the trauma of her night in the ICU, and she was in the process of making the two of them what was sure to be a delicious meal from scratch, despite Lena’s protestations that they could just order something. Kara had insisted that she preferred having the distraction of something to do, so Lena had reluctantly relented.

Having absolutely nothing stocked in her condo except for cereal, salad, and smoothie supplies, Lena had introduced Kara to Instacart, something she evidently had no idea existed. “Wait,” she had said in disbelief, “someone does your shopping FOR you? And then delivers it?!” and Lena had replied, “yes of course, who does their own shopping?” wrinkling her nose snobbishly. She kept Kara going for a couple of seconds before bursting into helpless laughter at the look on her face, and Kara had tickled her furiously in retaliation, leading to a moderately awkward moment on the couch, which Lena had escaped by insisting she needed to take a shower. A cold one. 

She stood up and retied her robe around her waist, not too tight, then headed for the door. When she opened it, Kara was leaning on the frame, one knuckle still in the air where she’d been tapping. “Oh! Hi! Oh…” Kara’s eyes swept her from head to toe twice before she got ahold of herself and dropped her arm, redirecting her gaze up and off to one side. She was wearing the same flannel pants as the day before, but a new shirt. This one said, “Purgatory Sheriff’s Department.” Lena hadn’t the slightest idea what that was, as she was as yet unaware of Kara’s religious preferences, but she was a fan of how she had the sleeves rolled up so her deltoids were visible. She was also a fan of the blue bandanna she was wearing to keep her mass of blonde curls out of her spaghetti sauce. 

“I don’t have a spice cabinet,” Lena said, leaning on the opposite door frame and regarding Kara in amusement as she examined the crown molding for flaws. 

“Oh okay,” Kara squeaked, shoving her glasses up her face. “Well, in that case, I’m just going to run down to the corner store and get some…” Lena’s robe slipped slightly as she took another sip from her wine glass. She frowned irritably and tugged it back up, as if the malfunction hadn’t been at least partially by design. “…Stuff.” 

“There’s cash in my wallet on the counter.”

“Nope! That’s okay! I got it!” Kara chirped, backing up slowly with her hands in the air, her eyes bouncing helplessly from Lena’s face to the opening of her robe and up again. “I’m just going to…” Kara jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “I’m gonna go. Be right back!” Kara whirled and disappeared around the corner. Scolding herself for being entirely too self-indulgent, Lena returned to her desk and retrieved her phone before tossing herself onto her bed.

Me (10/5/20 7:10 pm): You around?  
Jack (10/5/20 7:15 pm): Yep. What’s up  
Me (10/5/20 7:15 pm): When Lex put you in charge of the lab, did he give you access to my LuthorNet account?  
Jack (10/5/20 7:16 pm): Um I don’t know I can check hold on  
Jack (10/5/20 7:19 pm): Yeah looks like it. Why?  
Me (10/5/20 7:20 pm): Because I’m locked out. And I have no money. And the lawyers are demanding all the rights to my intellectual property  
Jack (10/5/20 7:21 pm): Wtf does that mean  
Me (10/5/20 7:22 pm): I suppose I should lobotomize myself and have it shipped certified mail  
Jack (10/5/20 7:22 pm): I suppose lol  
Jack (10/5/20 7:24 pm): Wait how are you broke  
Me (10/5/20 7:24 pm): I spent what was in my checking account on PPE for the hospital I’m at because I assumed I could just pull from my IRA today to cover it but I’m locked out of everything  
Jack (10/5/20 7:26 pm): Of course you did. Slush fund?  
Me (10/5/20 7:26 pm): For god’s sake Jack, I’m not Lex  
Jack (10/5/20 7:28 pm): How much do you need?  
Me (10/5/20 7:28 pm): That’s generous of you, but I have enough cash to get by. I just want my research.  
Jack (10/5/20 7:30 pm): I’ll see what I can do  
Jack (10/5/20 7:30 pm): But I still think you should just apologize and come back.  
Me (10/5/20 7:31 pm): I’ll take that under advisement  
Jack (10/5/20 7:32 pm): Enjoying yourself too much?  
Me (10/5/20 7:33 pm): Something like that

She set her phone face down on her bedside table and vowed not to look at it again for the rest of the night. She and Kara had already imposed a moratorium on pandemic talk, and Lena was more than happy to add any topic that pertained to her personal life to that list as well. She was determined not to let the sharp downhill trajectory her personal life was taking affect her night alone with Kara. She stretched, then got up and purposefully changed into something that wouldn’t cause her personal chef undue distress: pajama bottoms and her favorite Harvard Medicine sweatshirt. The ding of the elevator through the walls alerted her to Kara’s return, so she headed to the kitchen, polishing off her first glass of wine while she walked. 

“Welcome back,” she said, sidling up to the opposite side of the island from where Kara was standing and rummaging through plastic shopping bags. She was sporting an apron that Lena thought she had seen Maria wear once.

“Thanks,” Kara replied, lifting her eyes cautiously, as if expecting to be blinded. When she saw that Lena had changed out of her bathrobe, she looked like she couldn’t decide if she was relieved or disappointed. “Sorry for interrupting you earlier.”

“Don’t be. I wasn’t doing anything important,” Lena lied. She accidentally let her mind wander back to the contents of her bank account and wondered absentmindedly what one could even purchase for $33. A banana? She reached across the counter for the open bottle of wine and poured herself a refill. When she saw that Kara didn’t have a glass, she went to the cabinet to retrieve one. “Did you get everything you needed?”

“Yep, pretty much,” Kara replied, arranging a bunch of fresh herbs on the counter in front of her. The smell of the sauce simmering on the stove made Lena’s stomach growl. She couldn’t even remember the last real meal she had eaten. At least ninety percent of her recent caloric intake consisted of granola bars and sugar cereal. She wasn’t sure if her body even knew what protein was anymore. When Kara heard the clink of the bottle on the wine glass, she looked up from her basil chopping and said, “oh, no thanks, I’m good.”

Lena froze mid-pour. “You don’t want anything to drink?” she asked in amazement. As far as she was aware, alcohol was an integral part of the cooking process. And life in general. 

Kara scraped the basil into the sauce with her knife. “No, thank you.”

Perplexed, Lena set the bottle down and dumped the contents of Kara’s glass into her own, filling it to the brim. She gathered her hair in one hand and leaned down to sip the excess off the top so it wouldn’t spill when she picked it up. “You’re really going to make me drink alone, huh?” she asked, leaning against the counter beside the stove and hitting Kara with her best pout. 

Kara eyed Lena indecisively as she peeled a clove of garlic. “Well…”

“I’m just teasing, Kara, you don’t have to do if you don’t want to,” Lena reassured her, not wanting her to feel pressured. Maybe Kara just wasn’t a drinker, or maybe her head still hurt from her coffee-table induced concussion.

“I guess I could have one drink…do you have anything other than wine?”

“I have scotch,” Lena suggested, waving her hand at the enormous bottle Maria had left on the counter. 

Kara looked uncertainly at the bottle, as if that weren’t quite what she had in mind, but bravely said, “okay, I’ll try it.”

Approvingly, Lena poured a generous measure of thick amber liquid into a tumbler and handed it to Kara, then held out her own glass and said, “cheers.” They clinked and Kara took one timid sip, which induced immediate, violent choking. Lena patted her on the back sympathetically.

“Whew, I think I might need a chaser,” Kara said when she recovered, her eyes watering copiously. “That’s really strong.”

“Kara, that’s thirty-year-old scotch, it would be a travesty to chase it,” Lena scolded, taking the glass from her and taking a sip, rolling the liquid around in her mouth to make sure there was nothing actually wrong with it. She handed the glass back to Kara, leaving a faint lipstick mark on the rim. “It takes some practice, but you get used to the burn.”

“I’ll have to take your word on that.” Kara said, grimacing. She chewed her lip, eyeballing the glass as if it had personally offended her, then took a deep breath, squinched her eyes closed, and downed the rest in one go. 

“Woof,” she gasped, banging the glass down on the marble countertop and wiping her mouth with her forearm. 

“I appreciate your commitment,” Lena told her solemnly, raising her glass in salute. 

“I feel like it would only take one more of those to get me drunk,” Kara replied, fishing around in a different bag. She pulled out an enormous hunk of parmesan cheese and plunked it down on a cutting board beside a paring knife and a cheese grater that Lena had no idea that she owned. 

“That is the idea,” Lena replied, setting her glass down and boosting herself onto the countertop so she could watch what Kara was doing more easily. She unwrapped the cheese and cut off two generous slices with the paring knife, handing one to Lena and popping the other in her mouth before grating the rest. Lena nibbled at it uncertainly, as she tried to avoid dairy, but at the first taste her eyes rolled back involuntarily, and she committed to a larger bite, relishing the way it paired with her wine.

Kara observed her knowingly out of the corner of her eye. “Good, right?” she asked eagerly.

Lena nodded, finishing the rest and licking her fingertips. “So good. Where on earth did you get that?” Surely the convenience store wasn’t stocking fine cheeses during a pandemic. 

Kara grinned smugly and added a large handful of the grated cheese to her sauce before dusting her hands off on her apron. “I can’t reveal all of my secrets on the first date,” she replied casually. “I have to leave some mystery, or you’ll lose interest.” 

Lena blinked, nonplussed. First date? Was that how Kara saw what they were doing? Heat that had nothing to do with the wine she was drinking trickled down her ribcage and settled in her stomach. “Impossible,” she replied, her voice a little husky. Kara didn’t reply, intentionally occupying herself with alternately stirring, tasting, and adding various herbs to her sauce.

“You’re watching me,” she observed as she added another pinch of salt.

Lena, who had slouched sideways until she was practically hovering over the stove, scrambled to sit up. “Is that alright? I can leave.”

Kara shook her head vehemently as she dipped a tablespoon into the sauce and blew on it lightly. “Please don’t.” She carried the spoonful over to Lena with her hand cupped beneath it. “But that means you have to participate. Try.” Lena looked at the spoon and then back at Kara, then leaned down and let Kara raise it to her lips. The aroma of the kitchen coalesced tangibly on her tongue, and she put her hand over her mouth and shut her eyes, savoring it.

“That is absolutely delicious.”

Kara looked pleased. “Not too salty?”

“No, not at all. Where did you learn to cook like this?”

Kara returned to her saucepan, looking proud of herself, and continued stirring. “My mom. She’s an amazing cook. Alex and I were in the kitchen with her constantly when we were growing up.”

“That sounds so nice,” Lena said, playing with the drawstring on her pants idly. She couldn’t imagine having a mother who cooked or participated in any sort of domestic activity. “You’re close with your parents?”

“Yeah, they’re the best,” Kara replied, setting her ladle down and turning her attention to a pot of boiling noodles. She hooked one out with a spoon and tossed it at the wall, where it stuck. Satisfied, she turned the heat off and dumped the contents of the pot into a colander in the sink. When she was done, she took off her glasses and wiped the condensation off the lenses with her shirt, exposing a wide strip of abdomen. “They’re actually my adoptive parents.”

Lena forcibly pulled her eyes off their magnetic trajectory toward Kara’s waist and asked, “You’re adopted?” 

Kara held up her glasses up to the light, squinting through the lenses, and replied, “Yep.”

“I am, too,” Lena confessed, a little bewildered at how much she and Kara continued to have in common.

“Wait, really? The Luthors adopted you?”

Lena couldn’t blame Kara for her apparent confusion. Her family certainly wasn’t the type to adopt a child out of charity. “Well, kind of,” she explained, “my mother and father had an affair, but she died when I was four. My father took me in so I didn’t end up in foster care. Lillian, my stepmother, couldn’t stand me, but my father loved me.” She trailed off, letting her mind wander to that strange and unsettling time in her life. “And Lex was thrilled to have a baby sister,” she added, smiling a little despite recent events. 

When she looked up, Kara was studying her face assiduously, the way Lena had seen her do with her patients when she was trying to figure something out, and Lena realized that she had broken one of her own cardinal rules: don’t reveal too much about yourself on a first date. Or any date, for that matter. She started to pick at her cuticles, feeling slightly off-balance.

To her relief, the oven beeped and distracted Kara before she could extend the conversation. She spun around and snatched up a pair of oven mitts, then pulled out a sheet of perfectly golden garlic bread. She set it on a trivet and said, “well, that’s everything, if you want to go sit.” Excited and starving, Lena hopped off the counter and started to take a seat at the island, but Kara shook her head. “No, sorry, I meant in the dining room.”

Lena pushed her stool back in slowly, confused. “The dining room?” she asked curiously, trying to remember if she’d ever had the occasion to use that part of her condo in the past. 

“Yeah, isn’t that where fancy people eat?” Kara asked playfully. “Go sit, I’ll be right in.” 

Obediently, Lena picked up her wine glass and headed around the corner into the alcove that served as the dining room. When she saw the reason Kara had insisted on using it, she stopped in her tracks so abruptly she almost sloshed wine onto the hardwood floor. The table was beautifully set with a tablecloth, placemats, chargers, linen napkins, silverware, and lit tapers, complete with a bouquet of what appeared to be lilies as the centerpiece. Lena walked into the room leisurely, as if in a trance, running her fingers along the tablecloth like she wasn’t accustomed to such decadence. The sliding glass door leading out to the balcony was open, letting the unseasonably warm October air into the room. Strung along the railing were dozens of twinkling lights, complementing the lit windows of the buildings beyond them.

“Do you like it?”

Lena spun around at the sound of Kara’s soft voice. She was standing in the entryway with a basket of garlic bread in one hand and the salt and pepper shakers in the other. Caught completely off-guard with her heart in her throat, all Lena could manage to say was, “I’m not dressed for this.”

Kara looked slightly taken aback, like this was the one reaction she hadn’t anticipated. “What do you mean you’re not dressed for this?” she asked. “You look like a comfy goddess.”

Lena’s jaw dropped. “A…what?”

“You heard me,” Kara replied, setting the garlic bread and shakers on the table. She pulled out one of the chairs and gestured for Lena to sit with a flourish. “And anyway, the pants you’re wearing are probably worth more than everything in my closet combined, so I don’t think it really matters.” She winked and disappeared back into the kitchen, returning moments later with two plates heaped with more spaghetti than Lena could eat in a week. She set one on the charger in front of her, and the other on the place setting directly across. She vanished into the kitchen again and when she came back, she was carrying the bowl of parmesan. 

“Okay, tell me when,” she said, sprinkling. Lena waited until she had applied a small dune before stopping her. “Do you need anything else?” she asked considerately, and Lena shook her head, her hands piled numbly in her lap, still speechless. “Oh, actually, one more thing,” Kara said, trailing off as she lowered herself into her own seat and pulled her phone out of her pocket. “There we go,” she said as music began to emanate from the speakers in the ceiling and on the balcony. She set her phone down and looked at Lena with big, hopeful eyes. 

“Good? I mean, I know you haven’t tried the food yet, but the ambience? I wasn’t sure what kind of flowers you like, and I hope you don’t mind that I went through your cabinets to find everything, or that I put lights on your balcony. I can’t believe all the stuff you can order off Instacart, it’s crazy, and…um...” Suddenly aware of her own babbling, she stopped speaking and pulled her bandana off her head, running her fingers through her hair nervously. “I hope you like it,” she finished, watching Lena nervously as she awaited her verdict.

Lena cleared her throat intentionally, but her voice still came out shaky. “I love it.”

Kara’s shoulders dropped from where she had been wearing them around her ears and she exhaled audibly. “You do?” she gushed, her eyes catching the firelight and flashing prettily. “I was starting to think it was a little over the top.”

Lena, still gawking at her surroundings, shook her head. “It’s perfect. But I don’t deserve any of this.”

Kara sniffed, shaking her napkin out and setting it in her lap. “That’s a ridiculous statement. But agree to disagree, I guess.” 

Lena set her own napkin in her lap and retrieved her utensils, cutting up her pasta daintily. Across from her, Kara used a spoon to twirl an obscene number of noodles onto a fork. “I don’t think anyone has ever made me spaghetti,” Lena mused. She thought about it as she chewed. “Actually, I don’t think anyone aside from my cook has ever made me dinner before.” Jack would have been the only one who had the opportunity, and he didn’t cook. 

Kara looked affronted. “Well, luckily I have a lot of recipes, so I should be able to make up for that pretty quick.” 

Lena beamed at her and lifted another bite to her mouth. “You are a hopeless romantic.” 

“Ha,” Kara exclaimed, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “You have no idea.” 

Because she was weak and she couldn’t help it, Lena took the bait. “Oh, no? You should enlighten me.”

Kara arched an eyebrow as if Lena didn’t know what she was getting herself into, then smoothed her napkin back onto her lap and nailed her down with that laser-like blue gaze. “Did you know that I recognized you the instant I saw you on the plane?”

Lena tapped her finger on her cheek in exaggerated contemplation. “You may have mentioned it,” she deliberated, as if she hadn’t thought about it nonstop since the moment Kara had originally admitted it.

“Uh huh. And did you also know that I watched you out of the corner of my eye the entire flight like a creeper, just waiting for some excuse to talk to you?”

Lena shook her head reticently, already squirming in her seat.

Kara, building steam, carried on, “I was like, ‘oh my god, that’s the woman I saw in Science who invented nanoparticle technology, and she’s even more beautiful in person, that’s not even fair!’ And then I was so stoked because your luggage got stuck, and I felt super cool when I pulled your bag out, but you seemed so unimpressed-” 

Lena groaned and buried her face in her hands in mortification, half-wishing she could flee the table.

“-thank god I never know where I’m going or what I’m doing, because if I wasn’t such a helpless mess you might not have offered me a ride.”

Lena popped her head up, indignant. “I would have!” she protested. 

Kara shot her a look of extreme skepticism and Lena reburied her face. Mercilessly, she continued, “anyway, imagine how I felt when I found out that you didn’t bring any scrubs to wear and you needed to borrow mine.” She cast her eyes at the ceiling and clasped her hands together in front of her chest in gratitude.

Lena pushed herself back from the table with one hand over her face, laughing. “Please, please stop. I fold.” 

Kara lifted her glasses up to wipe underneath her eyes, amused with herself. “You are so easy,” she said. When she saw Lena’s expression alter slightly, she amended, “I mean in a good way. Like it’s easy to make you smile.”

Lena relaxed. “Easy for you, maybe,” she muttered, without lending much consideration to how it would sound. Kara just gazed at her openly, re-twirling a piece of pasta around her fork continuously. 

“I’m really glad we got to do this,” she said sincerely.

“I am too,” Lena said, timidly meeting her eyes. The wine was effectively eroding the concrete barrier that usually existed between her heart and her vocal cords, so she found herself admitting, “I wasn’t sure if you would want to get into this with me.”

Kara, a touch astonished, gesticulated at the room at large with her fork. “Did this dorky display convince you?”

“It’s a start, I suppose,” Lena replied, trying to affect coyness but not quite succeeding.

Kara nodded gravely, and said, “okay, I’ll keep working on it,” as she scraped up the last bits of sauce on her plate. When she was done, she waited patiently for Lena to finish, chatting amiably and stuffing herself full of garlic bread. Finally, when Lena professed herself unable to eat another bite, Kara hopped to her feet, catching the corner of the table to steady herself as her cerebellum felt the effects of all the scotch that the bread and pasta hadn’t soaked up. She made her way over to Lena and held her hand out, asking if she wanted to go out on the balcony. “It’s a beautiful night.” 

Lena quickly drained the last dregs out of her wine glass and allowed herself to be pulled out of her seat and led outside. They went to the railing and looked out at the blinking city lights and the flat black expanse of the ocean beyond. The wail of ambulance sirens drifted up to them occasionally, but neither of them acknowledged it.

“I feel small up here,” Kara remarked to Lena, who had leaned far over the side, searching for an outcropping that she knew had a gargoyle on it. When she found it, she pointed it out to Kara, who exclaimed delightedly, “I still can’t believe you own this entire building. Gargoyles and everything.”

Lena straightened up and clenched her fingers around the railing involuntarily. Before she could stop herself, she said bitterly, “not for much longer.” 

Kara, who had dipped her entire upper body precipitously over the edge to search for more mythological statuary, jerked back up. “What?”

Cursing the wine for loosening her tongue, Lena attempted to damage control the situation by plastering a fake smile over her clenched jaw. “Nothing, never mind.”

“Why wouldn’t you own it anymore?” Kara asked insistently. “Did something happen? Is it your brother?”

Why did she always have to be so astute? “Please, Kara,” she implored, wringing her hands fretfully. “I didn’t mean to say that, it just came out.” She didn’t want to talk about her work or her family or her finances. Her fragile headspace was dependent on her ability to remain in the moment with Kara. 

Sensing Lena’s discomfort, she backpaddled. “I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about it.” 

Lena nodded, but her eyes remained downcast and she continued to fidget with her fingers. “Hey, it’s okay baby,” Kara said, tucking Lena’s windswept hair behind her ear tenderly. She twitched her head up at the casual endearment and stared at Kara wide-eyed, her mouth slightly agape. Abashed, Kara looked at her shyly over the rim of her glasses. “Whoops,” she said under her breath, “that just came out, too. Blame it on the scotch?” 

“I’d rather blame it on you,” Lena replied readily, her voice low and her heart suddenly pounding.

Kara’s eyebrows shot up, and she smiled slowly. “Yeah?” she asked, cocking her head. When Lena nodded and returned her grin, she wrapped her arms around her tightly, pulling her flush against her body. Lena hugged Kara back and let her eyes drift shut, relaxing incrementally into the unfamiliar feeling of security. They stood that way until the song that had been playing finished, and when the next one came on, Kara perked up. “I love this song,” she said as she tugged Lena away from the railing and started to rock them back and forth to the beat. It was a pretty, heartfelt ballad, and Lena could feel it resonating with her, too. She rested her head on Kara’s chest, for once allowing herself to be swept away by the sweetness of the moment. Just as she was thinking that her heart couldn’t take another minute of it without sustaining an infarction, Kara began to sing.

“Cover my face and take me places  
This time, I wanna drive  
Burn my eyes and turn to ashes  
You saved my life

Now we’re walking back  
And we’re walking back  
And we’re walking back  
And we’re running back

Change my name and leave these places  
This time, I’m not fooling around

This time  
This time  
This time”

Kara let the note trail off and pulled Lena closer as the song faded out. “You can sing,” Lena said quietly.

“Only on special occasions,” Kara replied, looking down at her. “Like this one.” She cupped Lena’s face in both hands and kissed her deliberately, exactly the way Lena had imagined she would: softly and with great care. She lingered for only a few seconds before pulling away, her glittering eyes searching Lena’s intently for her reaction. 

In response, Lena gathered a handful of the front of Kara’s shirt in her fist and hauled her back down, enjoying the way she could feel Kara’s mouth curl into a smile against hers. She pushed forward assertively, causing Kara to stagger back a step, off-balance, and then used their momentum to carry them several feet across the balcony until Kara’s back made contact with the wall and she gasped softly.

“Lena…”

Lena rocked up on her tip-toes and caught Kara’s lower lip between her teeth lightly to dispel any remaining notion that she had any reservations whatsoever, and in response, Kara dipped down and scooped her up into her arms like she weighed nothing, spinning them around so Lena was the one pinned against the wall, her legs wrapped around Kara’s waist. She plunged her fingers into Kara’s hair, relishing the way she huffed when her nails scraped her scalp. She held Lena there for only a moment before peeling her back off the wall and staggering blindly through the open door, into the living room, and toward the couch, kissing her the whole way. Upon arrival at their destination, Kara turned and sank backward into her seat, still holding Lena in her lap.

“Lena,” Kara panted into her mouth, “we should…” Lena grabbed her by the chin and tilted her head to the side, her focus unwavering and her mind cloudy with the taste of scotch on Kara’s tongue. Kara’s hand closed around Lena’s wrist and she broke off their contact. “…stop,” she finished raggedly, fixated on Lena’s lips. Hurt and confused, Lena started to pull away, but Kara folded her arms around her back firmly and buried her face in the nape of her neck.

“Why?” Lena asked, trying to catch her breath.

Kara drew the collar of her sweatshirt away from her neck and kissed her there, trailing upward until she reached her earlobe. “Because we’re drunk and I’m approaching the point of no return.”

“I’m not drunk,” Lena replied petulantly. She ran her fingernails through Kara’s hair and over the back of her neck, and Kara shivered violently.

“First of all,” she said hoarsely into Lena’s ear, “that wasn’t fair, secondly, I think that’s a lie, and thirdly, I am. That scotch has me doing crazy stuff.”

Lena smiled, winding up a handful of Kara’s gold locks in her fist. “Is that right?” 

Kara’s hands drifted lower on her hips and her eyes flickered up at Lena. “Uh huh,” she managed, and hissed between her teeth when Lena pulled. Her hips rocked up as her fingers dug into Lena’s flesh. 

“At this rate, I don’t think we’ll ever make it to sobriety,” Lena stated regretfully, leaning forward to kiss Kara deeply. Kara groaned in assent, kissing back until she finally plucked up the wherewithal to gather Lena in her arms and wrench them down horizontally onto the couch so they were facing one another. Kara hooked Lena’s top leg over her bottom one and ran her arm up Lena’s side until her hand caressed the side of her face. 

“To be continued?” she asked hopefully, looking exquisitely vulnerable. The reflection of the candles on the table flickered in Kara’s eyes, the only illumination in the room aside from the light of the city outside. 

“Obviously,” Lena reassured her, scooting forward until her nose brushed Kara’s and she pressed their foreheads together. She closed her eyes and tried to convince her heart to slow down. It was a nearly impossible achievement given the way Kara was running her hand through her hair and kissing her sporadically, reveling in their newfound physical intimacy. Kara’s playlist ended and the dim tranquility of the room enveloped them, providing welcome insulation from the world beyond.

Into the stillness, Kara whispered, “Lena, I adore you.”

The raw honesty seeped into Lena’s chest and permeated her consciousness, smoothing the jagged edges of the cracks and fissures that existed there. For once, certainty in something true secured Lena in her own body, and she felt almost real.

//

When Lena woke up, it was barely morning, the sky outside the darkest shade of gray, and although the patio door was still wide open and carrying in a breeze, she was suffocatingly hot. Realizing by degrees that she was still on the couch with Kara, she pushed herself up into a seated position and ripped her sweatshirt off over her head, tossing it onto the chair. She bent down to kiss the still-sleeping Kara on the mouth, intending to wake her up and ask if she wanted to come to bed with her, but Kara didn’t react. Close enough to suddenly notice the heat radiating off her and the way her hair was stuck to her forehead with sweat, dread settled over Lena like a pall. 

“Kara,” she said, her voice raspy and short. “Kara, wake up.” 

Kara stirred, and bloodshot blue eyes appeared beneath heavy, swollen eyelids. She blinked, trying to focus on Lena. “Hey, beautiful,” she said, her voice insubstantial and breathy, entirely unlike her. “Is it super cold in here?” She shuddered. 

Lena sucked in a breath and held it, trying not to panic. She leapt to her feet, ran over to the door and slammed it shut, then pulled a thick blanket out of the chest at the end of the couch and tucked it securely around Kara, whose teeth had started to chatter. Her face was very pale, except for two bright red circles that burned high on her cheeks. 

Lena lowered herself down next to her, too beside herself to think straight. 

“I think you have a fever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "This Time" is a song by the love of my life, indie rock singer Donna Missal. All credit for the lyrics in the chapter go to her. Please do yourself a favor and check out her entire album by the same name. It was in listening to that song that the idea for this fic formed, hence the title. The song means a lot to me for a variety of personal reasons.
> 
> All of your kudos and comments are greatly, greatly appreciated. Even if I have not directly replied to your comment, please know that I loved it with my entire heart.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends,
> 
> It's been a long three weeks since my last update. All I can say is that writing right now is hard. My mood tends to color in my phrasing (a common phenomenon I'm sure), so while I knew what I wanted to say in this chapter, it didn't come out right for a long time and I refuse to post until I'm happy.
> 
> Stay safe, stay well. Black lives matter. 
> 
> <3

Thunder rumbled in the distance and storm clouds settled over Metropolis like a shroud. Lena interrupted the restless orbit she’d been pacing around Kara to step outside on the patio to catch her breath. The effect of the gray fog pressing on the windows of the condo was claustrophobia-inducing, and panic was already tickling at the edges of her awareness. She walked to the railing and stood staring out into the blankness, watching the dense particulate matter of the cloud she was standing in swirl in the wind. She inhaled the humid air deeply, trying to decide what she was going to do. 

Kara should have gone to the hospital hours ago, but she’d begged Lena to give her the chance to try to ride it out, as the thought of taking a bed away from a patient horrified her. Lena had wanted to break the fever, given how high it was, but Kara eschewed pharmaceuticals and insisted on letting her beleaguered immune system and hypothalamus do the heavy lifting. At her behest, Lena had reluctantly piled more blankets over her and made her a cup of tea, which she managed a few sips of before falling into a fitful sleep. Lena set a timer and tracked her vital signs every fifteen minutes, meticulously noting her findings in an excel spreadsheet. She decided that once Kara’s oxygen saturation fell past a certain threshold, she would take her in whether she liked it or not, feeling more confident with Sam’s support on the matter. 

At eleven o’clock her timer went off and she returned to the couch where Kara was dozing. Her mouth had fallen open slightly and Lena leaned in close to listen to the sound of her rapid, shallow breathing. There was an ominous, rattling quality to her inhalations that hadn’t been present until recently, and the rash that had been slowly creeping past the collar of her shirt was well on its way up the side of her neck. Lena took her temperature, listened to her heart and lungs, counted her pulse and respirations, and finally, took her oxygen saturation, suppressing a gasp when she saw the reading. She tucked Kara’s arm back under the blanket and cocooned her back in, then she walked back out onto the patio, closed the door behind her, and called Sam. 

“Hey,” she answered after the first ring.

“It’s time,” Lena stated without preamble. She leaned against the wall under the awning, as it had begun to drizzle and did her best not to think about how less than twelve hours ago, she’d been pressed up against it, kissing Kara, drunk on red wine and their requited feelings. 

“Where’s she at?” Sam asked, referring to her oxygen status. 

Lena hesitated, not wanting to speak it into existence and make it real. “Ninety-four.”

Sam whistled. “That dropped a lot. She needs to be on supplemental oxygen. You doing okay?”

Lena, who had been digging the fingernails of her left hand viciously into her palm, sucked in a breath and said, “yes, I’m fine. Tell Nia we should be there within the half hour. My driver is on standby.” She started to pull her phone away from her ear to see if he’d responded to her text then paused. “Unless you think I should call an ambulance.”

“Definitely not. The last I heard the wait time on those was over an hour.”

“Over an hour? Do you think she’ll be able to get a bed?” The rain picked up and lightning flashed brilliantly across the sky. Lena glanced through the window behind her to see if it had woken Kara, but the mountain of blankets she was laying under remained still. 

“The attending in the new ward had a bed reserved when I talked to him earlier,” Sam said, then added, “but don’t tell her that.”

Lena chuckled humorlessly. “Obviously. It’ll be hard enough convincing her she needs to go in at all.”

“That’s true. Is she lucid?”

“On and off. Sometimes she seems like she is. But the last time she woke up she thought it was time to go into work and kept insisting she needed to change into her scrubs.” Lena kept her voice light, but it had actually been a little scary. Kara’s eyes had been so vacant she’d worried that she might be visually hallucinating. 

“Of course she thought she was at work,” Sam said in affectionate amusement. There was a pause and a rustle and then she said, “Nia just texted me, so I’m gonna call her. I’ll have her meet you at the east entrance, okay? It’s less crowded. And I’ll be there in a few hours.”

Lena nodded appreciatively, then remembered Sam couldn’t see her. She cleared the lump out of her throat and said, “thank you, Sam.”

“You’re welcome. Hey, I’m really sorry this happened. I know how much you care about her.”

Lena’s eyes wandered helplessly to the spot on the patio where the two of them had danced the night before and her insides twisted brutally. “Thank you,” she repeated, tipping her head back and blinking rapidly to dispel the tears that were forming, “I’ll talk to you in a few hours.” 

She hung up before Sam could say anything else, and as she did the sky split into a torrential downpour. She hastened back inside and found Kara awake, looking around in confusion. Lena sank down beside her and smoothed her sweaty hair back off her forehead as she squinted up at Lena blearily.

“Alex?” she asked hoarsely, scrunching up her nose and trying to pull her arm out from where it was pinned to her side underneath the blankets.

Anticipating what she was trying to do, Lena grasped the frame of her glasses on both sides and gently pushed them up on her face. Kara’s eyes swam into focus and she smiled slowly. “Lena,” she corrected herself.

“Hello, darling,” Lena replied, analyzing her. She seemed more coherent than she had earlier, which was a relief. Arguing with a delirious Kara who was hell bent on going to work had not been fun. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, reading Lena’s anxiety. Lightning lanced across the sky again and Kara glanced out the window. “Oh, it’s storming,” she observed, then started to cough violently. She threw the covers off and gripped her chest as she folded forward, her shoulders shaking with the force of her paroxysmal exhalations.

Lena ran to the kitchen to get her a glass of water, and when she returned, Kara was slumped on the pillows, white as a sheet. She took the glass from Lena and drank, wincing at the sensation on her raw throat. 

Lena sat across from her on the coffee table. “I’m worried about you,” she said honestly. She faltered in anticipation of Kara’s reaction to what she had to say. “I know you don’t want to go, but I need to take you to the hospital.”

“No hospital,” she growled, even as her chest heaved and nostrils flared. “I just need more tea.”

Lena, unable to help smiling at her stubbornness, said, “tea isn’t going to oxygenate you.”

“The patients need the beds,” Kara protested.

“You are a patient,” Lena retorted, raising an eyebrow. The skin between Kara’s eyes wrinkled in denial, but Lena held her ground and glared back at her evenly. “Now, can you walk, or shall I send for a wheelchair?”

Looking scandalized by such an egregiously offensive proposition, Kara pushed herself upright and swung her legs off the side of the couch, swaying in a dizzy circle as she set her feet on the ground. Lena leapt up to steady her, and Kara wrapped one arm around her leg and pressed her cheek to the front of Lena’s thigh. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice muffled.

Surprised, Lena stroked the top of her furnace-hot blonde head. “Sorry? Sorry for what?”

Kara pulled away and looked up at her. “For this. For being a pain in the butt. You told me I would get sick, and you were right. I was stupid.”

Lena sat back down so they two of them were eye to eye. “You have nothing to be sorry about. And you weren’t stupid. You were brave.” 

Kara rolled her eyes. “What if I got you sick, too?” She ran her fingers through her damp hair fretfully. “I shouldn’t have kissed you last night.”

“I don’t feel sick at all,” Lena reassured her, holding her hand and stroking her palm with her thumbs. She looked unconvinced, so Lena added, “and I’ve been dying to kiss you for days, so it would have happened anyway.” She bent forward and pressed her lips against Kara’s softly, to illustrate her point. 

“Okay,” Kara acquiesced, smiling dreamily when they broke apart. “If you say so.”

“I do,” Lena said emphatically, standing back up and putting her hand out. “And I’m sure I can get Rocco to come carry you if you can’t walk.”

As expected, Kara grabbed Lena’s hand and immediately pulled herself to her feet.

//

Lena successfully plaited Kara’s hair into a French braid on her fifth attempt just as the car pulled up to the side entrance of Willowbrook Hospital. She’d never braided anyone’s hair but her own before, and the angle Kara’s head was positioned in her lap was frustrating. It didn’t help that Kara had more hair than any human being had any right to have, and she kept leaving out large portions by accident. Lena said Kara’s name and patted her side as Nia came trotting up from beneath the entrance overhang, holding an umbrella with one hand and pushing a wheelchair with the other. She opened the door and stuck her head into the backseat, her eyes widening as they settled on Kara’s prostrate form. 

“Hey, Dr. Luthor,” she said, giving Lena a cursory nod. “Hi, Dr. Danvers, it’s Nia,” she said, clearly expecting Kara’s usual enthusiastic greeting and looking disturbed when she didn’t respond at all. “She’s worse than I thought,” she said to Lena, who nodded grimly. Giving up on her attempts to pat Kara awake, Lena looked at Nia for help. She shifted the umbrella from one hand to the other so she could lean into the car a little more. “Hey, Dr. Danvers?” she said loudly, “the Sharks suck.”

One of Kara’s eyes opened a crack and rolled toward Nia. “You suck,” she croaked. 

“There’s our girl,” Nia said, grinning in relief. 

“We’re here?” Kara asked, rubbing her eyes. 

Lena adjusted Kara’s hair tie and said, “yes, darling, we’re here. Can you sit up?” Kara groaned and buried her head in Lena’s lap, so she tried another tactic. “For me, Kara?” On cue, Kara planted her hand on the seat and shoved herself into a seated position with Lena’s assistance. 

“Now what?” she grumbled petulantly. Nia stepped back onto the curb and pushed the wheelchair closer. Lena gestured at it. Kara said, “fuck,” but thankfully didn’t argue. Lena got out of the car first and joined Nia in securing Kara under the armpits and providing stabilization as she heaved herself out of the car and into the chair. As soon as she was seated, a fit of coughing overcame her that lasted so long that by the end of it she was gasping for air and Lena thought her lips looked a little blue. She shivered and hunkered down, shutting her eyes.

Lena took her sweatshirt off and put it on Kara, threading her arms through the sleeves like she was a child. “Is that better?” she asked as Kara buried her face in the neck.

“Mm hmm,” she hummed. 

“Let’s get you inside, Dr. Danvers,” Nia said as she unlocked the brakes and pulled the wheelchair away from the curb, juggling the umbrella. “I’ll text you as soon as she’s settled in, Dr. Luthor.”

Lena had already started to close the door behind her. “I’m coming with you,” she said, puzzled.

“You can’t, Dr. Luthor,” Nia said. “You’re in quarantine, remember?”

“Oh,” she said, startled. She’d been so wrapped up in what to do with Kara that the fact that she’d be separated from her never crossed her mind. “Yes, of course.”

“I’m sorry,” Nia said, looking distressed. “I figured you knew.”

“That’s alright, Nia,” Lena said, frozen in place even though she was getting drenched. “I’ll just say goodbye, then.” She knelt down in front of Kara, grimacing when she noticed she was still wearing her fuzzy pink slippers. They were soaked through. 

“It’s okay, baby,” Kara said to her softly, peering down over the tops of her glasses. “I’ll be fine.”

The wind picked up and Lena’s arms broke out in goosebumps. “I know you will. I just-” she swallowed hard against the lump forming in her throat. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Kara shook her head adamantly. “You won’t. I’ll be out soon and we can spend the rest of this quarantine together.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Lena said. As much as she hated to burden Kara with her emotions, she couldn’t stop the tears from spilling over. 

“Please don’t cry, Lena,” Kara said, wiping her cheek with her thumb. “Just take care of yourself until I get out, okay?”

Lena nodded and mustered a smile that disappeared when Kara started coughing again.

Nia, who had been doing an excellent job of both shielding them from the rain and giving the appearance that she couldn’t hear anything that was being said, met Lena’s eyes. “I need to get her inside.”

Lena stood up and kissed Kara’s forehead “I’ll see you soon, alright?” she choked out.

“Really soon,” Kara agreed, her voice trailing off. Her eyes closed.

“She’ll be okay, Dr. Luthor,” Nia said. “We’re gonna take care of her.”

“Text me the moment she’s settled in,” Lena said.

“I will,” she replied. Kara waved at her weakly as Nia turned her around and wheeled her through the sliding glass doors, disappearing into the hospital. 

// 

Lena slogged across the lobby of the Winchester, trying not to slip on the ends of her soaked pants. Multiple sets of eyes tracked her as she walked by with her head down, dripping and sniffling. The receptionist at the desk smiled at her thinly and looked like she was trying to decide if she should call security. She could hardly blame the woman, she probably looked more like a drowned rat than the owner of the building. She got into the elevator, thankful to be free of the stares, and stabbed the “close” button irritably. She’d cried herself out in the car on the drive back, and her mood had transitioned to a much more pleasant generalized bitterness.

The instant the doors opened on her newly Kara-free living room, she kicked her soggy slippers into a corner and peeled her pants off her body, dropping them in a wet heap on the kitchen floor to deal with later. The room was full of reminders of their night together: pots and pans on the stove, dirty dishes on the counter, half a brick of parmesan cheese on a cutting board. Tears prickled the corners of her eyes and she swiped them away impatiently. She briefly considered locking herself in her room to take her mind off things, but ultimately decided to just clean up and get it over with. 

She wandered into the dining room, intending to clear their plates, but she only made it as far as stacking them together before fatigue overwhelmed her. She collapsed into one of the chairs and laid her head on her arms, staring into space and contemplating how thoroughly she’d managed to derail her life in so short a time span. There was no safe subject to think about, and every time her mind wandered, it conjured an image of Kara laying alone in a hospital bed, wrapped up in her hoodie. 

Something caught her eye through the glass centerpiece, and she pushed it aside to investigate. Laying on the table beside Kara’s discarded bandana was her cell phone. Surprised, Lena reached across the table and picked them both up. She pressed the side button on the device reflexively, expecting a lock screen, but in keeping with the rest of Kara’s ridiculously trusting disposition, the phone simply opened to a series of text messages that Lena read before she could stop herself. 

Alex (10/5/20 8:04 pm): Doing good?  
Kara (10/5/20 8:06 pm): Yep. Great :-)  
Alex (10/5/20 8:06 pm): That’s good to hear. I just got off work, want to call me?  
Alex (10/5/20 8:36 pm): Or not  
Alex (10/5/20 11:06 pm): I’m going to bed, I hope you just fell asleep or something. Love you  
Alex (10/6/20 10:15 am): Getting a little worried about you Kara  
Alex (10/6/20 11:46 am): Getting a lot worried, dad hasn’t heard from you either.

Lena pressed her fingertips to her forehead guiltily. She’d been so caught up in her own feelings that she hadn’t even thought to get in contact with Kara’s sister. Some combination of lack of sleep and mental-emotional strain short-circuited her brain and she mindlessly pressed the telephone icon in the upper right-hand corner of the screen.

“Kara!?” a tinny, harried-sounding voice answered immediately, speaking loudly over the sound of road noise. “Thank God, are you okay? Where have you been? I left work to drive home and my boss is furious, so this better be good.”

Lena pulled the phone away from her face and stared down at it, realizing what she’d done. “I am so sorry,” she said, horrified at herself, “this isn’t Kara.”

“What?” Alex demanded. “Who is this?”

“My name is Lena, I’m a friend of hers.” Lena squeezed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger, kicking herself. 

“Why do you have her phone? Where is she?”

“She left it with me by mistake, I dialed without thinking because it was in my hand.” Lena said, getting up to pace. “She’s okay, but I’m calling because she’s in the hospital.” 

“In the hospital?” The road noise cut off suddenly and Alex’s voice got clearer. There was panic in it. “What do you mean, she’s in the hospital? What happened?”

Maybe Kara hadn’t told her about her stint working in the PARVID ward, or maybe Alex was laboring under the impression that the staff were being garnered appropriate protective equipment. “Well, she was in the ICU two nights ago, so-”

“The ICU?” Alex erupted. “Oh my god, what happened? Was it a car accident? Was she drunk? Was she with that Mike moron?”

Lena stopped walking and fiddled with the bandana she was holding in her other hand. “No,” she said, slightly taken aback, “she contracted the virus.”

“She what? Are you saying she has PARVID? How the hell did she get PARVID?” Lena frowned. She thought that would be obvious, but sometimes lay people were unfamiliar with the specifics of viral transmission. She started to explain, but Alex interjected, her voice hushed. “Wait a second, oh my God, is she in Metropolis?”

Lena gaped like a fish. “Yes, she’s in Metropolis. I’m sorry, I thought you knew.” Hadn’t Kara told her that Alex knew? Lena racked her brain, trying to remember their conversation on the subject. All she could recall was Kara saying that Alex thought what she was doing was stupid.

“No, I didn’t. She brought it up once, but I told her it was a bad idea, so she dropped it. Or at least I thought she did. How long has she been there?”

Lena caved into the impulse she’d been fighting and went to the kitchen to retrieve a glass from the cabinet. “About four days.”

“Four days?!” Alex exclaimed. “You have to be kidding me. Four days?” Lena poured herself a shot while she waited for Alex to collect herself. She felt bad for being the one to have to spring this on her. “How is she?” she finally asked, her sharp tone transitioning to concern. 

Lena tossed the shot down her throat with the smooth ease of long practice before answering. “She’s stable, but she has a high fever and her oxygen saturation is low. The good news is that she was able to get a bed right away and she’s in excellent hands. I think she’ll be fine.”

“Okay, well, that’s good at least, right?” Alex said, sounding relieved. Lena was touched at how much she seemed to care about her sister. It was in stark contrast with the way Lex had reacted, that was for sure. “And I’m sorry, who are you again?”

Lena squinched her eyes shut and bit her thumb nail apprehensively. “Lena Luthor,” she said quickly, hoping Alex wouldn’t recognize her name. “I’m volunteering here too, I met Kara on the plane. She’s been staying with me.” The silence that followed Lena’s statement was so profound that she glanced at the screen, thinking she had dropped the call. “Hello? Are you still there?” 

“Are you fucking with me?” Alex asked. 

Lena startled and let go of her glass. It clattered onto the counter. “I- what? No, of course not.”

“You’re Lena Luthor? Of Luthor Corp?”

Lena picked her glass back up shakily, feeling the familiar stab of shame. “Yes, that would be the one,” she replied coldly.

“Oh wow. Okay, uh, can you bear with me for a second while I get my head on straight?” Alex said, “it’s been a long morning.”

“Alright,” Lena said uncertainly, and poured herself a double in anticipation of whatever it was she was about to hear. A car door opened and closed on the other end, followed by the sound of boots crunching on gravel. 

“You’re telling me that my impulsive, idiot sister got on a plane and left for Metropolis without telling anyone, has been volunteering in some god forsaken, virus-ridden hell hole for three days, is now sick and in the hospital with said deadly virus, and has been shacking up with Lena freaking Luthor, co-owner of the greediest, most corrupt company in the country, possibly the world. Do I have that right?”

Lena scowled and retorted defensively, “Yes, except Kara is not an impulsive idiot.”

Alex guffawed. “Really? How the hell would you know? You’ve known her four days.”

Lena bristled. “I’ve known her long enough to know that she’s an amazing physician who came here to help people and sacrificed her own health to do it.”

“First off, I didn’t say she wasn’t an amazing physician, I said she was an impulsive idiot. And secondly, that’s pretty rich coming from you, don’t you think?” Alex said contemptuously. 

While Lena expected a certain amount of disdain for the crime of belonging to her family, she couldn’t wrap her head around Alex’s outright hostility. “What do you mean?” she asked, baffled.

Alex snorted. “What do I mean? I mean you’re the reason my amazing physician of a sister doesn’t have a job. You’re the reason she’s there in the first place.”

Lena’s stomach sunk into her pelvis and she stiffened. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Alex laughed humorlessly. “Alright, maybe this clueless act has been working on Kara, but it’s not gonna fly with me. Midvale Community was one of the hospitals that your shitty company bought out and closed.”

The name was familiar, and the memory of a board meeting where she’d heard it for the first time flashed across her mind. It was part of a larger initiative to close all the small rural hospitals around National City to drive patient traffic to Lex’s newly built, privately owned facility. Lena had argued against it on the basis that it would cost people their jobs and it make it more difficult for patients to access health care, but she’d been laughed at and overruled. As usual.

“I didn’t know,” Lena said numbly. She turned around and slumped against the counter, sinking down until she was seated on the floor. “I didn’t know Kara worked at one of those hospitals. She didn’t tell me she was unemployed.”

“Of course she didn’t,” Alex scoffed. “It mortifies her, and she’s worshipped you since she was in undergrad. It’s actually pretty ironic, isn’t it?”

Lena propped her elbows on her knees and rested her forehead on her closed fist. “It wasn’t my decision to close those facilities,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Oh, does that absolve you of responsibility for it?” Alex asked, her voice dripping disgust. “Is that how you sleep at night while the company you own makes billions exploiting people?”

The last tenuous twig of Lena’s self-control snapped, and she started to cry. “I’m sorry.”

Alex sighed. “Look, I’m not trying to be an asshole. This is just a lot to take in, you know?” Lena tapped her foot and held her breath as tears oozed down her face, clutching Kara’s bandana. “Just so you understand where I’m coming from, Kara’s been spinning out for six months. Right after she got laid off, our mom got really sick and she was her primary caregiver. A few weeks later she died. So the last few months have been rough, but she’s seemed happy in the last few days and I was finally starting to feel optimistic, and then I get this call out of the blue.”

“Your mother passed away?” Lena asked, her voice very small as she pictured the way Kara’s eyes had twinkled when she told Lena about her.

“Yeah. Pancreatic cancer.”

Lena felt like she was breathing through a straw. “I’m so sorry. About everything. I know you hate me, but I care about Kara very much and I would never to do anything to hurt her, at least not intentionally.”

The crunching noise carried on for some time and then stopped. “I believe you,” Alex said begrudgingly. “Is there any way I can see her?”

“No,” Lena said, wiping her face. “But I will pass your number along to the doctor in charge of her case so they can contact you directly, if you’d rather not speak to me.”

“Yeah, that’d be good,” Alex said gruffly, “thanks.”

Lena nodded. “May I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Alex said skeptically.

“How do you know it was Luthor Corp that made those acquisitions? We intentionally did that though a subsidiary.” Alex cleared her throat and didn’t answer. “And why isn’t Kara aware it was Luthor Corp?”

“I don’t remember how I found out,” Alex answered, “and like I said, Kara’s always admired you and your work. I didn’t see any reason to upset her.” 

She was lying. Lena pursed her lips. “Alright, thank you. I will pass your number along as soon as I can.”

“Thanks. And give Kara her freaking phone back.”

Lena winced. “Yes, I will.”

//

Lena was sitting at her kitchen island nursing a glass of red wine when Sam strolled through the elevator doors. She’d graciously agreed to come over before her shift started and pick up Kara’s phone.

“This place is bougie,” she declared as she tossed her purse onto the counter and pulled out a stool. “When I told my Uber driver the address he said, ‘the one with all the gargoyles?’ and I was like, ‘sure, I guess,’ then when we pulled up I thought he took a wrong turn and I was at Notre Dame.”

With significant effort Lena dragged her head off her hand and focused until four Sams converged into just one. “I like gargoyles,” she said, swaying slightly. 

Sam raised an eyebrow at her, then looked around until she spotted one empty wine bottle in the sink and another on the counter and nodded in understanding. “Yeah I bet you do. How much have you had to drink?”

“Not much,” Lena lied guilelessly with an exaggerated shrug. 

“Not much like one bottle or two?”

Lena looked up at her from underneath her eyelashes mischievously. “One and half?”

“Maybe you should slow down a little,” Sam suggested, sliding into her seat and watching with dismay as Lena drained the rest of her glass. 

“Nope,” she said, setting it back down and hiccupping. 

“Okedoke,” Sam said, “you do you, I guess. It’s not like your immune system needs to be functional right now or anything.” 

Lena ignored her and blurted out, “I talked to Kara’s sister.” She rolled the stem of her wine glass between her fingers. 

“Oh yeah? That’s good. How’d it go?”

“Bad.”

Sam furrowed her eyebrows. “Bad? But Kara’s doing great.”

Lena shook her head and blew a stray strand of hair out her face. “It was right after I got home from the hopsital. Hospital. First, I accidentally called her from Kara’s phone, then she didn’t know where Kara was and I had to tell her, and then I found out she hates me.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then looked at Sam with big glassy eyes. 

“Whoa, whoa,” Sam said, putting her hands up, nonplussed. “What do you mean she hates you?”

“Because we closed Kara’s hospital,” Lena said miserably. She started to reach for the half empty wine bottle in front of her, but Sam caught her by the wrist and pulled her back down into her chair.

“Slow down there, sister. Why don’t you give your hepatic enzymes five minutes to do their job without drowning them in more booze. I need your two remaining brain cells to translate what you just said for me.”

Lena tried again. “When I told Alex my name, she knew who I was.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Well, yeah, most people know who you are. You’re like a super smart Kardashian.” Lena shot her a resentful look and Sam shrugged. “It’s true.”

“She knew who I was because I ruined Kara’s life.”

“Okay, that’s where you’re losing me. How did you ruin her life?”

“Luthor Corp bought the hospital she was working at and she got laid off. And then her mom died.” Lena took a shuddery breath and bowed her head. 

Sam gave her a moment, rubbing her back tentatively. “That’s terrible, but I really can’t see how either of those things are your fault.”

“Her sister is an FBI agent.” 

Sam stopped rubbing for a moment. “Um. Okay…I don’t see how that-”

“And I think she’s investigating Luthor Corp.” 

“Hmm.”

“And I’m afraid my brother is going to send one of his goons back here to stuff me in a burlap sack and kidnap me.”

“I-”

“Oh, and I have no money.”

Sam grasped Lena firmly by the shoulders, turned her so they were facing, and stared into her eyes with obvious concern. “Are you just drunk or are you having a mental breakdown? Start counting down by sevens.”

Lena pulled away impatiently. “I’m fine. I’m just…” Her lower lip started to quiver. “My life is falling apart. And I’m so worried about Kara.” 

Sam looked whiplashed. “Okay. Hey, it’s okay. Listen, I need to get to the hospital, but let’s talk through this real quick, alright?”

Lena nodded, wringing her hands in her lap fretfully. “Okay.”

“I know you’re worried about Kara, and I completely understand, but she’s doing great. Nia told me not to tell you this, but half the nursing staff is in love with her and Nia spent most of the shift chasing them out of her room. She’s like a celebrity in there.”

Lena chuckled and wiped her eyes. “That sounds right.”

“She’s young and healthy and she’ll probably be discharged by tomorrow afternoon. Then she can come back here, and you can continue whatever nauseating activities you get up to together for an entire two weeks. This thing about Kara’s job and her sister is none of my business, so I don’t want to go there, but it seems to me like you’re overtired and drunk and catastrophizing.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Lena conceded, starting to feel a little better despite herself.  
“I am right,” Sam said, patting her leg. She looked thoughtful. “Does your brother actually have goons?”

“Oh yes,” Lena said, nodding. 

“Who am I kidding, that doesn’t surprise me. Anyway, I don’t know what’s going on with that, or what you mean by having no money. Do you actually have no money? Don’t rich people keep a fat stash in a Caribbean island or like, line it in the trunk of a Lamborghini or something?”

“Lamborghinis don’t have trunks,” Lena stated matter-of-factly. “And no, none of the above. I spent everything I had on PPE for the hospital and my brother froze all my assets when he fired me.”

“Your brother fired you?”

“Mm hmm.”

“Fuck him,” Sam scowled. “Well, that is a pickle. But I maintain that right now you need to just focus on taking it day by day. I think you’ll feel a lot better once Kara is out.”

“Yeah,” Lena said. The corner of her mouth twitched, and she looked a Sam sheepishly. “Sorry for unloading on you. I think I’m drunk.”

“Do you think?” Sam asked, standing up. She put her arms out and Lena looked at her blankly. “Stand up you fool; I’m trying to hug you.”

Lena obliged and reluctantly allowed Sam to wrap her arms around her shoulders, standing rigidly and holding her breath. Sensing her discomfort, Sam let go and stepped back. “Don’t let any of these assholes get you down, Lena. You’re one of the most bad ass women I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a cure developed by the time this quarantine is over.” Lena chuckled and shook her head. “Danvers will be out soon, and until then,” she picked up Kara’s phone and waved it in the air, “you can text her all the kissy face and heart eyes emojis you want.”

Lena ducked her head and blushed. “Thanks, Sam. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, dropping the phone into her purse and slinging it over her shoulder. “Should I go down on the elevator or does Quasimodo carry me down the side of the building?” 

//

After Sam left, Lena forced herself to eat something, then collected her phone charger, a portable speaker, and a bottle of water, and went to Kara’s room. She pushed the door open and walked inside slowly, feeling suddenly self-conscious. It looked much the same as the last time she’d been in there: Kara’s bed was made, and her few belongings were organized neatly on top of the dresser. Lena set her things on the bed and gravitated over to the pile, curious. There were two pairs of freshly washed and folded scrubs, her doctor kit, two books, a bag of toiletries, and the bracelet Lena had found in her scrub pocket on their first day there. She picked it up and examined it. It was a simple leather band with a beaded inlay, and on the inside, she could barely make out words etched into the leather. Lena carried it to the bed and sat down, holding it under the lamp so she could see that it said “Eliza Danvers.” Lena got up and replaced it carefully where she’d found out, then pulled down the bedcovers and climbed in.

Aside from reading Alex’s text messages when she first found Kara’s phone, Lena hadn’t done any snooping, except for one thing that she was convinced Kara would forgive her for. She’d gone into her Spotify app to search for the playlist she’d had on the night before. It didn’t take her long at all to find the one labelled “Lena <3” and sent it to herself. She pressed play and settled back against the pillows. Almost an hour had passed since Sam left, so Lena decided that it was safe bet that Kara had been given her phone back and texted her, deleting and rewriting it several times before finally hitting send.

Me (10/6/20 7:18 pm): Hi :-)

She put her phone on vibrate and set it on her chest, staring at the ceiling and listening to the music. The song they’d danced to started to play and her heart squeezed painfully. Amber light filtered into the room through the curtains, as the clouds were finally starting to clear, and draped the room in a soft, hypnotic glow. She was just getting to the part of the song where Kara had started singing when her phone buzzed.

Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:21 pm): Hey babe  
Me (10/6/20 7:21 pm): Hey! How are you?  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:22 pm): I feel like death warmed over but I’m happy to be talking to you :-)  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:22 pm): Thanks for sending my phone with Sam, by the way  
Me (10/6/20 7:22 pm): It was kind of her to come get it.  
Me (10/6/20 7:22 pm): Nia said they put you on an Oxygenix, are you still?  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:23 pm): I just got downgraded to a nasal cannula! Big win haha  
Me (10/6/20 7:23 pm): Is that good enough? What’s your O2 sat?  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:24 pm): 97%  
Me (10/6/20 7:24 pm): That’s better, but I wish they’d keep you on the Venturi  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:24 pm): Nah I gave mine to the elderly lady in the cubicle next to me.  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:24 pm): Her name is Margaret  
Lena (10/6/20 7:25 pm): Of course you did -__-  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:25 pm): :-P  
Me (10/6/20 7:25 pm): I called your sister, btw  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:28 pm): Oh god really  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:28 pm): What’d she say  
Me (10/6/20 7:28 pm): She was concerned but glad to hear you were getting proper care  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:28 pm): How mad /10?  
Me (10/6/20 7:29 pm): 7-8/10  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:29 pm): Geez. Sorry you had to deal with that. I’ll text her right now.  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:31 pm): What else did she say

Lena hesitated with her thumbs poised over the keyboard before deciding that Kara didn’t need to know what she knew. Stress, like alcohol, wasn’t good for the immune system. 

Me (10/6/20 7:31 pm): Nothing really, something about you being an impulsive idiot  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:32 pm): Lol, well, she’s not wrong  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:32 pm): Did you tell her who you are?  
Me (10/6/20 7:35 pm): Yes  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:36 pm): Did she roast me?  
Me (10/6/20 7:36 pm): Not exactly  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:37 pm): She just texted me this: FWD: Alex (10/6/20 7:37 pm): I hate you and when I see you next I’m going to strangle you  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:37 pm): Lololol  
Me (10/6/20 7:38 pm): She loves you very much  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:38 pm): Yep :-)  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:38 pm): Has anything happened with Lex?  
Me (10/6/20 7:39 pm): No, it’s been crickets. It’s a little disconcerting.  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:39 pm): He’s just trying to mess with your head, I’m sure. It’ll be okay. <3  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:39 pm): How about you? Are you feeling okay? Fatigue/SOB/sore throat/rash, anything like that?  
Me (10/6/20 7:39 pm): I feel perfectly fine. Just a little drunk.  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:40 pm): That’s good. I wish I was there with you  
Me (10/6/20 7:40 pm): I’m actually laying in your bed.  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:40 pm): You are?

Lena bit the side of her cheek, contemplating. Before she could lose her nerve, she snapped a selfie and sent it to Kara, groaning in embarrassment after she hit send. 

Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:43 pm): You are. :-) :-) :-)  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:43 pm): Now I really wish I was there with you  
Me (10/6/20 7:43 pm): Me too ;-)  
Me (10/6/20 7:44 pm): I’m so glad you feel better. I was so worried about you.  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:44 pm): I told you I’d be fine. I don’t make promises I can’t keep  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:46 pm): Are you settled in for the night?  
Me (10/6/20 7:46 pm): Yep  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:46 pm): Do you have a charger?  
Me (10/6/20 7:47 pm): Yes I do.  
Kara <3 (10/6/20 7:47 pm): Great, get ready to text me all night

Lena took a sip of her water and switched off the lamp, fluffed her pillows, and settled down. The remnants of sunlight disappeared, and the room grew dark, the only light coming from the glow of her cell phone illuminating her smiling face.

Me (10/6/20 7:50 pm): Ready.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> Sorry for long stretches between updates, the clinic I work at is slowly transitioning back to normalcy and my entire life is work.
> 
> This chapter is jargony, so see the end note for a glossary. 
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of those who have left kudos and comments. Dopamine is good for writers. 
> 
> Please enjoy, stay healthy, stay safe.

Lena’s phone vibrated in her hand where it was still clutched from the night before, infiltrating her subconscious and pulling her out of a strange dream she’d been having about her father. 

He was seated behind his desk, the one that now belonged to Lex at Luthor Corp, and Lena, a child again, was across from him. She swung her skinny legs back and forth nervously and studied the buckles of the patent leather shoes that Lillian was always cramming her feet into. Lionel was trying to tell her something, but she didn’t understand the message. 

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Lena,” he said again, leaning forward and folding his big hands. “You’re missing something.”

“What am I missing, papa?” Lena asked, but he just shook his head and smiled at her sadly.

“Do you remember what I told you? It’s important.”

At a loss, Lena just stared at her father until his face started to blur and fade away. The colors of the room bled together, the desk dissolved, and Lena blinked herself back into reality, squinting at the red letters of the alarm clock on the bedside table. At some point the night before she must have dropped off without realizing it, because it was just past seven in the morning. She and Kara had talked for many hours about everything and nothing, with Kara grilling her for every mundane tidbit of information about her life and personal preferences that she could think of, and Lena obliging her with the answers. Lena smiled at the memory and made a mental note to reread their entire conversation, her dream already fading rapidly into the backdrop of her thoughts.

Blinded by her blurry contacts and the light filtering in through the curtains, Lena swiped to answer without looking at who the caller was, indulging her optimism that it was Kara calling for a ride home. “Hello?” she asked hopefully.

“Hey Lena, I’m so sorry to wake you up with this, but I have some bad news.” It was Sam, sounding uncharacteristically somber. Lena jolted upright like she’d been doused with a bucket of cold water.

“What’s wrong?”

“Kara took a turn for the worse a little while ago,” Sam replied carefully, as if she was handing Lena a live grenade.

Lena froze, every muscle in her body tensing as she hung for a moment in suspended animation, then she swayed, gripping the coverlet with one hand to steady herself. “What happened?” she asked, pushing the words out past the constriction in her throat with difficulty. 

“Her O2 sat plummeted and she went into cardiac arrest. I never thought she should have gone to the cannula, but you know how she is, she insisted I give her mask to someone else. Her CT showed extensive bilateral infiltrate and her cytokines are off the chart. It’s ARDS.” Sam spoke rapidly, trying to get it all out as fast as she could, and then paused, exhaling shakily. She sounded utterly exhausted, and Lena could almost picture how she must have looked, standing at the nurse’s station in rumpled scrubs, her face raw from her mask. “I’m so sorry, I’m doing everything I can.”

“I know,” Lena reassured her numbly, trying to get her brain to comprehend the fact that at some point while she was sleeping, Kara had almost died. She’d seemed so normal and happy over text, but that was just like Kara, to give her the impression that she was perfectly fine when she was far from it. “I was just talking to her a few hours ago. I thought she was doing well.”

“I know, I thought so, too. I rounded on her at midnight and she was doing great. But you know how it can be with these patients. One minute they’re talking to you normally and the next they’re on a vent.” Lena’s stomach twisted violently, and her ears started to ring. The recovery rate once a patient was placed on a ventilator was small. Sam said something else, but she didn’t hear it. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I said, are you feeling okay?” Sam repeated.

It took Lena a moment to process that Sam was asking her how she felt physically, and the truth was, she hadn’t thought about it. She took a quick inventory, and despite the fact that Kara had probably inoculated her with enough virus to knock down a city block, she didn’t have so much as a scratchy throat. “I feel fine. No symptoms.”

“Well that’s a relief. You’re either really lucky, or you Luthors have superhuman immune systems.”

“I suppose,” Lena replied, frowning. Something about Sam’s phrasing bothered her. Somewhere deep in the recesses of her mind, a box containing one of hundreds of repressed childhood memories rattled. Lena kicked it into a corner and ignored it. Now was not the time for such nonsense.

“Either way, take care of yourself. I don’t want you to end up in here, too. I’m meeting with Dr. Grant in a minute, I’m going to see if she’ll let me stay on since the day shift is so short-staffed.” 

“Thank you for staying with her,” Lena said in relief. The thought of Kara being managed by a doctor she didn’t know was almost too much to bear. “Have you spoken to her sister? Alex?”

“Yeah, I called her.” Sam said grimly. “Which reminds me, she told me to tell you something. It was kind of weird.”

Lena braced herself. “What is it?”

“She said, ‘tell Luthor she has my permission to do whatever it takes to save Kara.’” 

Lena squeezed her eyes shut, hearing Alex’s voice clearly in her head, snarling at her that she was the reason Kara was in Metropolis in the first place. The reason she was sick in the first place. “I don’t know what she meant,” Sam continued, “I told her you’re not even allowed to be here at the hospital. But I have to go meet with Grant now, before they kick me out. Nia is here, so if you can’t get ahold of me, text her.”

“I will,” Lena said, “Thank you, Sam.” 

She hung up and let the phone drop out of her lifeless hand onto the bed beside her. Thoughts fled through her brain like frightened animals, and she was suddenly so dizzy that she felt nauseous. She clutched her stomach, gritting her teeth and counting to five before conceding defeat and staggering to the bathroom. Unable to make it to the toilet, she threw up in the sink. When the nausea passed, she rinsed her mouth and sunk down onto the tile floor, leaning against the wall. Sam didn’t know what Alex meant, but Lena did. Alex wanted her to redeem herself by curing her dying sister. 

“I don’t know how to save her,” Lena sobbed out loud to the empty bathroom, gathering a hank of her hair in her hand and pulling. Tears poured down her face and dripped into her lap. 

“You’re missing something, darling,” her father’s ghost whispered in response.

When she was a child, stuck on a problem and needing help with her homework, Lionel used to say, “you’re thinking too hard, Lena. Your thoughts are getting away from you. If you just sit still with the question, the answer will come to you.”

Lena gathered herself to the best of her ability and sat as still as possible, waiting for an answer to the only question in the world that mattered. 

This time, when the memory box rattled, she ripped it open and allowed the contents to spill out, no longer caring how much they might hurt. 

//

Seven-year-old Lena sat at the dining room table with her brother and stepmother, cutting her pork tenderloin into ever smaller pieces to give the impression that she was eating, even though she had yet to take a bite. She hated pork, and the deafening silence at the table wasn’t helping her anxious stomach, which was knotted up so tightly she couldn’t see a way to get food into it even if she wanted to. The only sound in the room was the occasional shrill scrape of silverware on her plate, which earned a series of pointed glares from Lillian. Lionel was out of town again, which meant her stepmother had a headache. 

“Mother, I’d like to discuss an idea I have about Lena,” Lex said out of nowhere, breaking the rule prohibiting any discussion pertaining to Lillian’s least favorite subject. Lena’s head jerked up in alarm at the sound of her name, and the knot in her stomach pulled tighter. 

“Oh?” Lillian intoned, managing to convey distaste in a single syllable, “what is it?” Lena studied her plate fixedly, feeling Lillian’s eyes on her but refusing to look back, lest she be turned to stone. She fiddled with the fringe on the edge of her placemat instead, occasionally stealing glances at Lex, who was wearing his best benevolent big brother smile. Lena didn’t buy it. 

“Well, I overheard Mr. Gilmore talking with another gentleman at the club today. Evidently his daughter Lauren has the chickenpox, and his wife plans to host a chickenpox party for all the children in Lena’s class,” Lex explained, looking inexplicably enthusiastic.

Lena gripped the edge of her chair to prevent herself from squirming in her seat. She’d overheard a rumor of the event at recess, and while she had a vague understanding of what it meant to have the chickenpox, she wasn’t clear on why Lauren would have a party to celebrate it. 

“What on earth is a chickenpox party?” Lillian asked irritably, for once sounding like she shared Lena’s sentiments.

Lex smiled and snapped his fingers at Natalie, their maid, and carefully selected a roll from her proffered basket. With his usual flair for drama he began buttering it while his sister and mother awaited his explanation in suspense and disinterest, respectively. When he was finally done, he said, “It’s quite simple. The idea is to expose a single cohort of children to the virus at the same time, so they all get sick at once.” He flourished in Lena’s direction with the knife, and she ducked instinctually. “It’s an excellent way to build herd immunity and cut down on missed class time.” He sounded like an infomercial, and it made Lena skeptical. He wasn’t well-known for his preoccupation with her attendance record. 

“I don’t see why she can’t just get vaccinated,” Lillian said with a dismissive wave of her hand, indicating that she was reaching the end of her forbearance for the topic.

Lex chuckled. “There’s no vaccine for Varicella yet, mother. Although the recent clinical trials are promising.”

“Hm,” Lillian huffed, training her laser gaze back on Lena. “Well, if you want her to go, you’ll have to take her. I have business to attend this weekend.”

Lex bowed his head graciously. “Of course, mother.”

“And you may want to warn Natalie that she’ll be ill and out of school for a few days. I’m having a party next week, so she’ll have to be confined to her room. I can’t have her looking that way in front of company.” Lillian paused and leaned forward, trying once again to get Lena to look at her. “I certainly hope it doesn’t scar,” she remarked deliberately, under her breath. “It would be a shame to ruin that flawless Irish complexion.” When her comment had the desired effect on Lena, she smiled. 

“Oh, I doubt it will,” said Lex, smiling at her over the top of his roll. 

“It’s a good thing you have such a caring brother, isn’t it, Lena?” Lillian asked, simpering at Lex.

“Yes, ma’am,” she replied quietly, slumping down in her chair and wishing she could just disappear altogether. 

//

Lena waited until it was late and Lillian had gone to bed to creep out of her room, across the hall, and down the winding outer staircase. It was dark, so she trailed her fingertips along the wall to orient herself until she could see the strip of light under the door leading to Lex’s basement laboratory. She stood in front of it, wringing her hands fretfully as she worked up the courage to knock. Finally, her fear of something emerging out of the darkness on either end of the hallway overwhelmed her trepidation and she darted her hand out, rapping the door twice with her small fist. 

“Come in,” called Lex in a sing-song voice. Lena reached up for the handle and eased the door open cautiously, sliding into the room like an unobtrusive shadow. She kept her back firmly against the wall as she clicked the door shut behind her. Lex was standing across the room at his lab bench, working on something that Lena couldn’t see. She waited for him to turn around, but the minutes dragged by and he gave no indication that he even remembered that she was there. 

“Lex?” she squeaked nervously.

He turned and gestured with a gloved hand to the chair beside him. “Have a seat, Lena.”

Lena swallowed and she edged back toward the door, trying to assess whether it would be wiser to just make a break for it. “Are we doing an experiment?” she asked timorously. They’d just done one not too long ago, so she’d assumed she was in the clear. Lex always told her that playing scientist too often would draw attention, and then they’d both be in trouble. 

“Why else would I tell you to come down here, silly?” he asked, snapping his fingers impatiently. Lena, with her usual reluctant compliance, shuffled her feet as she walked over and wished fervently that Lionel were home. Lex mostly left her alone when he was. She climbed into the chair and looked up at him expectantly, catching sight of the syringe in his hand, filled with a sickly-looking yellow liquid. 

“Am I going to sleep again?” she asked, her eyes trained on the needle. She felt her lower lip start to quiver and she bit down on it harshly. Lex hated when she cried. 

He pocketed the syringe and knelt in front of her, patting her leg. “Yes. You’ll wake up in the morning and you won’t remember a thing, right?”

Lena nodded bravely. Truthfully, the worst part was the shot. After that, she just woke up in her bed, neatly tucked in with a glass of milk on the nightstand and a vaguely sore feeling in her right hip. She started to tug the sleeve of her shirt up, then stopped, remembering their discussion at the dinner table. “Lex?”

“Yes, darling?” He had the syringe back out and was flicking the side to remove the air bubbles.

“I don’t want to go to that chickenpox party.” A rebellious tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek, and she swiped it away with her index finger impatiently. 

“No? Why not?” His flat black eyes flashed at her, and when Lena looked into them, she could see her reflection. 

“I don’t want to get the chickenpox,” she said in a rush, “and Lauren’s friends are mean to me.”

Lex frowned. “Those children are sheep. You shouldn’t pay them any mind. And if this experiment goes the way it should, you’ll be the only person in your class who doesn’t get it.” He tapped her on the tip of her nose, smiling. “How’s that?”

Lena thought about what Lillian had said about being scarred. “Good?” she said uncertainly.

“It’s very good,” he confirmed, rolling up her sleeve and swabbing it with an alcohol pad. She flinched at the cold and he drew his hand back. “Everything is going according to plan, Lena. I know you don’t like it, but what have I taught you?” He blew lightly on her shoulder to dry the alcohol. “Why must we do things that we don’t want to do?”

Lena took a deep breath and straightened up. “For the good of the family,” she recited obediently.

“That’s right,” Lex said with approval. He uncapped the needle and injected the liquid into the meat of her shoulder in one smooth motion. “We all must make sacrifices on our journey to greatness.”

//

Lena watched eagerly from her perch on the landing of the grand staircase as the maid opened the front door to admit Lionel. A flurry of snow followed him in, dusting the Persian rug, and Lena caught Lillian frowning at it. Lionel removed his hat and overcoat and handed both to the Natalia before shaking his son’s hand and delivering a chaste kiss to Lillian’s cheek.

“Welcome home, father,” Lex said, jamming his hands into his pockets. “May I fix you a drink? I was hoping to discuss a project I’m working on, and…” he trailed off, following Lionel’s eyes as they searched the foyer, looking for Lena. 

“Where’s Lena?” Lionel asked, and Lex’s eyes darkened.

“I haven’t seen her,” he lied. 

Lena stood up quickly, wincing a little at the pain in her hip, then started down the stairs. “I’m here, papa,” she called, making her way toward him but giving Lex and Lillian a wide berth. Upon seeing her, Lionel went down to one knee and held his arms out. Emboldened, Lena made a run for him, diving into the sanctuary of his arms and burying her face in the padded shoulder of his suit jacket. Chuckling, he pried her arms off from around his neck gently and sat her on his knee. 

“Hello, my love,” he said, “you look as beautiful as ever.” Lena smiled at him brilliantly, ignoring the two sets of eyes burrowing into her back. “Shall we go to my office? I have a gift for you.” Without waiting for a reply, he tucked her against his side and stood up. 

“Dinner will be ready in five minutes,” Lillian snipped, taking a step forward as if to stop them. 

“We’ll join you shortly,” Lionel replied dismissively. He carried Lena down the hall and set her down to open the door to his office. She darted in eagerly and clambered into his enormous leather desk chair, waiting patiently as he dispensed of his suit jacket and tie and dug around in his pant pocket, eventually producing a small box. He walked over and lifted her easily out of his chair, setting her back down on his thigh and holding the gift out on the flat of his palm. Lena took it reverently, waiting for him to nod in encouragement before she removed the top. It was a necklace with a fine silver chain and a pendant featuring two hands grasping a crowned heart. 

“Oh,” Lena gasped, running the tip of her finger over the pendant. “Thank you, papa.” She set the box down and wrapped her arms around his neck again, pressing her smooth cheek against his scratchy one. 

“You’re very welcome. It belonged to your mother,” Lionel said quietly, apparently sharing in Lena’s belief that Lillian could hear through walls. “It’s a claddagh pendant.”

“Claddagh?” 

“Yes. She explained the meaning to me once.” He picked up the box and took the necklace out, laying it across his hand and pointing to each part of the pendant in turn. “The hands are for friendship, the heart is for love, and can you guess what the crown is for?”

Lena puzzled over it, loathe to disappoint. “Royalty?” she ventured. 

“Close,” he said, smiling. “Loyalty.”

Lena nodded seriously. Lex was always lecturing her on the importance of loyalty. Lionel unclasped the necklace and fastened it around her neck, tucking the pendant into her shirt.

“Better not let your stepmother see you wearing that,” he warned, as if Lena would ever be so careless. She pulled the pendant back out and held it in front of her face, examining it. He sat back in his seat and regarded her affectionately. “So, what have I missed?”

Lena let the necklace fall back onto her chest so she could focus on delivering her report. “Let me see,” she said, tapping her chin the way Natalia did when she was thinking, “Mother had the ladies over for bridge. Twice. She had a party last weekend, too. Lex has been working on his big project for school. Umm…Oh, Chef burnt the sauce last night and mother was really mad.” She grinned wickedly at the memory of Lillian’s irritation at someone that wasn’t her, and then as an afterthought, she added, “and I went to a chickenpox party.”

Lionel’s eyebrows shot up and he chuckled. “You did? When?” He took her arm and started moving it this way and that, examining it for lesions. “I don’t see any chickenpox!”

Ticklish, Lena giggled and pulled her arm back. “I don’t have it, papa. Everyone else got it, but not me.”

The smile fell from Lionel’s face and he gave her a curious look. “No? Why not?”

Lena shrugged, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under Lionel’s shrewd gaze and realizing she probably shouldn’t have said anything. “Because…Luthors have superior immune systems?” Lena had no idea what the phrase meant, but she’d heard Lex declare it repeatedly on the many occasions he’d yanked Lena into his room after the party to divest her of her shirt so he could examine her chest and abdomen for any evidence of the disease. After a week, when all the other children had gotten sick except Lena, he’d seemed even happier than she was. He’d even taken her for ice cream to celebrate, which, in Lena’s opinion, made the entire endeavor almost worthwhile. 

“Is that right?” Lionel asked, without a trace of amusement in his voice. His scrutiny didn’t scare Lena, the way it might have if he was Lex or Lillian, but it did make her feel ashamed for being dishonest. “Is that what Lex told you?” 

Lena shrugged, as if it were of no consequence where she’d heard it. “Yes,” she answered, sliding the pendant of her mother’s necklace back and forth on its chain.

“Lena,” Lionel said softly, drawing her hands away from her neck and compelling her to look at him. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Her lip started to quiver at the care in his voice and even though he didn’t mind when she cried, she bit it anyway. “No.”

“Nothing at all? About your brother, maybe?”

Lex always said, “we have to stick together, Lena. It’s you and I against the world.”

“No, papa,” Lena said decisively. “Nothing.” 

//

“Lena?” Jack answered the phone groggily, sounding like he’d just woken up. “It’s five-thirty in the morning, is everything okay?”

Lena stalled her manic pacing and winced, glancing over her shoulder at the clock on the stove. “I’m sorry Jack, I forgot I was two hours ahead here.”

“It’s fine,” he grumbled, and repeated, “is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” she lied reflexively, “but I need your help with something.” She didn’t add, “as usual,” but she thought it. She resumed prowling across the floor of her living room, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. 

“Alright, I guess I’ll get a cup of coffee,” Jack replied grudgingly. There was a rustling followed by the squeak of bedsprings. “What’s up?”

Hardly knowing where to begin, Lena started with the first thing that came to mind. “The doctor that I’ve been staying with has PARVID. She had to be hospitalized yesterday and she isn’t doing well.”

“Oh wow, I’m really sorry to hear that. I didn’t realize you were staying with someone.”

“Yes, thank you,” Lena said abruptly, blinking away the tears that immediately started to form. “Most of the other doctors and hospital staff have gotten sick too, but I’m completely asymptomatic. No rash, no sore throat, nothing. At first I thought it was a fluke, or a coincidence, but now I’m not so sure.”

He hesitated, and Lena could practically hear the gears in his head turning. “That is odd,” he said finally, “but not unheard of. You could be an asymptomatic carrier. Or pre-symptomatic, that’s possible too, depending on when you were exposed, or-”

“I never get sick,” Lena blurted out, cutting him off.

“Huh?”

“You’ve known me for over ten years, do you remember a time when I was sick with anything? A cold? The flu? Gastroenteritis?” 

Lena heard the hiss of his coffee pot and turned on her own Keurig on her next pass through the kitchen while she waited for him to think about it. “No, I guess not,” he said finally, sounding thoroughly confused. “I mean, you get migraines, but that’s about it.”

Lena nodded adamantly as she popped a pod into the machine and hit the brew button. “No infections?”

“No, not that I can remember, at least. Why? You sound all crazy the way you do when you have an idea.”

A smile crept across Lena’s face for the first time since her text conversation with Kara the night before. She wiped it off with the palm of her hand hastily, afraid to jinx the entire enterprise with misplaced enthusiasm. “I do have an idea. I think I know how to treat PARVID.”

“Okay…” Jack said, drawing the word out slowly. She could feel his incredulity radiating through the phone. “Lena-”

“I think I can use my plasma to treat it.” Straight to the point, that was the best approach in situations like these. She slid onto the stool at the kitchen counter where her browser was open to dozens of tabs, each with a different study on PubMed. She started clicking through them rapidly, just for something to do. “And before you argue against convalescent plasma, I know why all those trials failed. The affinity of the antibodies they used is too low to be effective. You’d need the plasma from dozens of people to treat a single case. You would need ultra-high specificity to make it work.”

“Right…I don’t understand what makes you think you have that.”

“Do you remember when I told you that I thought Lex did experiments on me when we were children?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Jack said, “but-”

“I think he tampered with my bone marrow through genetic modification.”

“Huh.”

“You don’t believe me.”

“I mean, it does seem a little far-fetched.” 

Lena balled her hands into fists and through clenched teeth she said, “you have no idea what he is capable of, Jack.”

“I’m sorry, you’re right,” he said, appeasing. “So, if I’m understanding this correctly, you want to try treating your roommate with a transfusion, but first you need to confirm your…hypothesis.”

“Correct.”

“Okay. What do you need from me?” 

Relaxing incrementally at his change in tone, Lena got up to add creamer to her coffee. “There’s no antibody testing available here, and I know Lex has some stockpiled in the hospital at National City for his celebrity clientele. I need to send you a sample to be tested.”

“Oh boy,” Jack said, “you know I could lose my job over this, right? I mean, if Lex found out I would be lucky to make it out of the building alive.”

She wished she could say he was being dramatic, but he wasn’t. Lena took a deep breath. “I know. It’s a lot to ask, but if I’m right, this could save so many people.” Lena closed her eyes and pictured Kara’s face. “I need you to trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Jack said simply. “And I fucking hate your brother. I can’t say I think this is going to work, but if you can send a courier with the samples to the airport, I’ll have a plane waiting.”

// 

Winn arrived as Lena was polishing off the remains of her third cup of coffee. Two hours had passed since she’d spoken to Jack on the phone, and in that time she’d sketched a rough outline of her plan on a piece of scratch paper, contacted everyone who would play a role in its implementation, and cleaned her entire apartment. Every twenty minutes she checked her phone for a text message from Nia or Sam with an update on Kara’s status. She remained stable, but Lena knew that could change quickly, which was why every hair follicle on her head was standing straight up and she’d bitten all her fingernails down to the nub. 

The elevator door opened and deposited a harried-looking Winn in her living room, holding a bag with two arms. “Hey Dr. Luthor,” he greeted her with strain in his voice, using his knee to shift the weight of the bag. Lena rushed over and helped him carry it to the coffee table, where they set it down together with a clunk. Lena reached in and, with some difficulty, pulled out a small but heavy centrifuge with a post-it note stuck to it that said “sorry, I know it’s old but I swear it works” in Nia’s handwriting. Lena smiled and dumped the remaining contents of the bag out onto the coffee table.

“Nice digs,” Winn said as he took a seat on the couch across from her, looking out the window. “Very ‘Dark Souls.’”

“Thank you,” Lena replied. She didn’t have the slightest idea what he meant, but she was too focused on the task at hand to clarify. She rummaged around in the pile until she found a pair of gloves and pulled them on. “I appreciate you bringing all this.”

Winn shrugged. “No problem. I got to the hospital for my shift this morning and Nia was like, ‘here Winn, take this bag to Dr. Luthor, her car is out front,’ and I was like, ‘ma’am, yes ma’am,’ and then I asked her if there was some plan afoot and she said she wasn’t sure exactly what, but it probably had something to do with Dr. Danvers being sick.”

“Yes, that’s accurate,” Lena confirmed as she unraveled the tubing on a butterfly needle and attached it to a barrel. She swabbed the inside of her elbow briskly with an alcohol wipe, then picked up the tourniquet and handed it to Winn. “Will you tie this around my upper arm, please? Tightly.”

He took the elastic band gingerly, eyeballing the arm that Lena was holding out with suspicion. “What are you doing?”

“Venipuncture,” Lena replied, scooting toward him to facilitate access.

“On yourself?” he asked, recoiling in horror.

Lena quirked an eyebrow. “Yes, unless you have an undisclosed flair for phlebotomy.”

“Definitely not,” he said, leaning forward and tying the tourniquet in a very loose knot. “I hate blood.”

“Tighter than that,” Lena instructed, and after two more unsuccessful attempts, he tied it off and Lena inserted the needle into her own vein, mentally thanking Nia for her foresight to send a butterfly needle and not a straight. The color drained slowly from Winn’s face as blood started to run down the tube, and he looked away. When the first one was full, Lena slid it off the barrel and replaced it. She handed the full tube to Winn and asked him to hold it upright, pursing her lips in an effort not to smirk at his expression. 

“Oh god, it’s warm,” he said, screwing up his face and holding it as far away from himself as possible. Lena repeated the process with two more tubes before popping off the tourniquet and applying a cotton ball to the puncture site. She held her hand out, and Winn relinquished the tubes gratefully. “Now what?” he asked. “Should I take those back to the hospital?”

“No,” Lena said, placing the tubes in the centrifuge to clot the rest of the way. “These will get picked up by a courier and taken to National City for testing.” 

“Oh, okay,” Winn replied, crestfallen. He fidgeted for a second, then said, “was there anything else you needed me to do, or am I just the blood boy?”

Lena sat back down and crossed her legs. The next part of the plan necessitated a certain amount of finesse. “As a matter of fact, there may be something else,” she said, keeping her tone casual. She removed the cotton ball from her arm and replaced it with the Sponge Bob band aid that Nia had thoughtfully included in the kit. Winn leaned forward, his eyes wide and eager. “Of course, you’re welcome to return for your normal shift after I’m done spinning down the blood. I don’t mean to be demanding.”

“You’re not at all!” Winn said emphatically. “What do you need? I would do anything for you and Dr. Danvers.”

Lena smiled, endeared by his commitment. “Well, alright,” she said. “Come with me.” She led Winn to the kitchen island and indicated for him to take a seat on the stool, then opened the lid of her laptop where the LuthorNet firewall was displayed. She waited.

Winn looked at the screen and then up at her, frowning. “Um. Forgot your password?” he ventured hopefully.

Lena leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. “When we met, you mentioned you were a computer programmer.”

Winn’s eyes brightened. “You remembered what I said?”

“Certainly. You seem smart and discreet, so I trust that you understand me when I say you absolutely do not have to do what I am asking.”

He glanced back at the screen, then at Lena. “What exactly are you asking?” 

“I need access to this website in order to search the database for something.” 

“You mean you need me to illegally hack into this website to steal something that doesn’t belong to you,” he translated promptly. 

Lena cast her eyes at the ceiling, trying to find a more judicious way of putting it and coming up empty-handed. “Yes, that’s what I mean,” she said at last. She leaned over him and clicked a different tab. “I also need access to this bank account so I can transfer the funds elsewhere.”

Winn stared at her like she’d lost her mind completely. “Dr. Luthor, I’m a programmer, not a hacker.”

“Please call me Lena. And I know you aren’t. I understand this is a long shot, so if you aren’t comfortable doing it, I completely understand.”

Winn sighed and looked back at the screen, thinking. Lena waited patiently for him to reach a verdict. “Does this have something to do with you coming up with a treatment for PARVID?” he asked.

Lena hesitated, but only for a second. She owed him honesty. “Yes.”

“Dr. Danvers doesn’t stand a chance without treatment, does she?” Lena said nothing, merely holding his gaze and noting the keen intelligence behind his friendly, easy-going demeanor. She shook her head once, back and forth, and he said, “okay.” 

Lena jerked in surprise. She’d already started moving toward plan B. “You’ll do it?”

“Yeah, but I can’t work like this,” he said, waving his hand at the computer. “I need a battle station. And snacks. Possibly rum.”

“Of course, I can provide whatever you need. How long do you think it’ll take?”

Winn settled his hands on the keyboard and typed rapidly, a blur of movement so fast it was impossible to track with the human eye. The screen morphed into line after line of indecipherable code, and he squinted at it, considering. “I would say several to many hours, but I won’t know for sure until I really start to dig in.”

“Well,” Lena said, closing the computer and tucking it under her arm, “let’s get you started then.”

//

Lena tapped on the closed door of her bedroom and waited for Winn to invite her in, but the music on his headphones was so loud she could hear it through the door. She opened it a crack and peered into the room, which was pitch dark except for the glow of the laptop illuminating his face, hovering a scant three inches from the screen. Lena flipped the lights on and he leapt out of his seat, blinking and pulling off his headphones in alarm.

“Sorry, I thought you might like some light,” Lena said. She held up the bottle of rum he’d requested. “And I brought this.”

His face lit up at the sight of the alcohol and he waved her over. “I can do without the light, but I will definitely take some of that.” He held out his half-full glass of coke and Lena topped it off.  
“I can get you some ice,” she offered, but he shook his head, draining the glass back down to half-full in two gulps.

“No need,” he said when he was done, burping and swiping at his mouth with his sleeve. He pointed at the computer screen and added, “I just transferred the funds into the new account. I’m going to take a crack at LuthorNet again now.”

Lena’s heart leapt and she pulled out her phone, opening her bank account. When she saw her money was there, she sunk down onto the edge of her bed. “Oh my god, you did it.”

Winn nodded, finishing off the rest of the glass and slamming it onto the desk. “Yeah, but that was the easy part. The security on this database is a monster.” 

He’d spent the morning and the better part of the afternoon chipping away at LuthorNet, testing it for weak points to exploit or trapdoors to sneak into, but so far, he hadn’t found anything. By the time the sun started to go down he’d switched to working on her bank account out of sheer frustration, which he’d managed to unlock in under an hour. She transferred several thousand dollars to Jack to cover the cost of the testing and put her phone away, but not before checking for an update from Nia, disappointed when there was nothing since her last update fifteen minutes ago. Lena stood up to leave, but Winn shook his head and waved a hand at her to sit back down. “Stay,” he said, “I could use some company.” 

Surprised, Lena sat back down on the edge of the bed and watched what he was doing over his shoulder. The lines of code were so dense it made her eyes cross. “I don’t know anything about coding,” she said, trying to pick out a pattern to his actions.

“I could probably teach you everything I know in a couple hours,” he said, amused. He punched the return key and cursed under his breath when didn’t get the result he wanted. 

“Oh, thank you. That would be lovely.” 

Winn snorted and turned to her as he held down the back space. “That was meant to be hyperbolic, but I appreciate the reminder that you’re a genius. I was starting to feel a little smug.” When he saw she was teasing him, he grinned and shook a finger at her.

“Have you heard anything about Dr. Danvers lately?” he asked, the tenor of his voice turning more serious.

“No change,” Lena replied quietly, examining her cuticles. One was bleeding a little. 

“But that’s good news, right? No news is good news.”

“I suppose. It buys us time until I get the results, at least.”

“Tomorrow morning, right?” Winn asked, turning back to the computer. Lena had explained the situation to Winn to the best of her ability, exploiting the gaps in his knowledge about medicine so she didn’t have to get into detail about her past.

“Yes,” Lena said. Jack had confirmed he received the samples a few hours ago, but he had to wait until Lex went home for the night to get started. It was too risky otherwise. 

Winn went back to working in silence and Lena returned to an article she’d been reading on her phone, but after a few minutes, he interrupted her and said, “can I ask you a slightly weird and intrusive question?” 

Lena looked up. “If you don’t mind a weird answer, I guess.”

“Are you and Dr. Danvers a couple?”

The question was unexpected, and it flustered her. She ducked her head, her cheeks getting hot. “Oh. Well, I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “We’ve only known each other a few days.”

Winn swiveled back around in his chair and Lena did her best to hide her embarrassment. “What does that matter? Everyone expected you guys to get together since that first night. Nia and Dr. Arias have a pool going.” 

Warmth blossomed in Lena’s stomach and for a moment she forgot Kara was sick. “Really?”

“Well, yeah, it’s kind of obvious. Dr. Danvers literally does not shut up about you.”

Lena shook her head, mortified. “I cannot imagine why.”

“You can’t?” Winn asked, chuckling. “Come on. You guys are soulmates.” 

Lena pulled her eyes up from the spot on the carpet she was pretending to be fixated on. “What?” she asked curiously.

“Sorry, I forgot scientists don’t believe in stuff like that,” he said.

“I’ve just never really thought about it,” Lena admitted. “It always struck me as a bit unlikely, the notion that out of eight billion people, one is meant just for you.”

Winn shook his head and ran his hand through his hair so it stuck straight up. “That’s not how I think of it.”

“No? Please enlighten me,” Lena said, propping her chin in her hand.

He pushed the laptop away, looking happy to have a break, and held his hand out for the bottle. Lena passed it to him, and he took a long swig directly from it. “Are you familiar with Brian Greene’s work? Or Michio Kaku?”

“Naturally,” Lena replied. Theoretical physics had been one of her favorite subjects since childhood. 

“Okay, so then you’re familiar with the multiverse theory. I think soulmates are just people who show up in your life no matter what version of reality you happen to be in. It has less to do with predetermination and more to do with, I don’t know…”

“Proximity?” Lena offered. 

“Yeah, but more than that. If you resonate at the same frequency as someone else, eventually you end up drifting together, regardless of the universe you happen to be in. You can’t help it.”

“That’s interesting,” Lena said, and let her mind wander as Winn turned back around, muttering that he had an idea. She still didn’t believe in soulmates, but she was intrigued by the concept nonetheless. She thought about the crush Kara had on her before they even met. She thought about the feeling she got when the two of them were together, like she’d lived her entire life as a bunch of scattered puzzle pieces until Kara had come along and started to put them together. After only a few days, she missed Kara so much she felt her absence like a physical pain. Maybe Winn was right. Maybe-

“Holy shit, I’m in!” he yelped, punching his fists in the air and startling Lena out of her reverie. He leapt up, pulled her to her feet, and dragged her over to the desk, pushing her into the chair. “Sit, do whatever you have to do, and hurry up. You have ten minutes before the system boots us out.” 

Lena looked at the computer in amazement. LuthorNet was wide open, the cursor blinking in the search bar. “Set a timer,” she told Winn, turning to give him a high-five. He set one for nine minutes to be on the safe side, but it proved unnecessary. It only took Lena five to find what she was looking for. 

//

Lex Luthor’s lab notebook, November 21st, 1997

Experimental genetic modification of the autograft a resounding success! Three weeks after exposure, subject still does not exhibit any signs/symptoms of Varicella zoster. Affinity maturation of the white blood cells seems to be key. Plan to continue exposure to pathogens in a stepwise fashion with increasing morbidity. Subject remains unaware and continues to be compliant with treatment. T.M. states he can acquire more midazolam, as subject tolerance continues to increase. Mitigation of subject’s memory of experimental procedures is imperative as she gets older. 

//

That night, Lena didn’t sleep much. She watched the reflected light from the cars on the street far below play across the ceiling, and she thought about Kara. In the moments that she did drift off, she dreamt of her father. 

At six o’clock in the morning, just as the room was transitioning out of darkness and into the dimmest shades of gray, she received a text message notification. She picked up her phone, expecting another “all good, stable,” from Nia, but the text was from Jack. 

Jack (10/8/20 6:02 am): Prelim result already in, ran four different tests to be on the safe side, your antibodies are crazy high. Like off the charts. And I’ve never seen binding so strong. It’s like 5-10x more specific than normal.  
Jack (10/8/20 6:02 am): You were right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bilateral infiltrate/cytokines off the charts/ARDS: Acute respiratory distress syndrome, something that happens when fluid leaks into the lungs due to an overzealous immune response to infection. This happens in real life to critically ill COVID patients  
> Convalescent plasma: This is a real treatment option being researched. Basically it involves the use of plasma (blood without red blood cells) from patients who have already successfully fought off the disease (convalescent) to treat. The reason it's useful is because patients who have already had the disease build up antibodies, which can then be transferred to the sick patient. As Lena mentions, the major issue with this approach is the antibodies aren't specific enough, that is, they don't bind to the infectious agent sufficiently to treat the disease.  
> Venipuncture: drawing blood  
> Phlebotomy: the practice of drawing blood  
> Translation of Lex's lab notebook: He tampered with Lena's bone marrow through genetic modification, giving her a "superhuman immune system." Varicella zoster=chickenpox virus. Affinity maturation= making antibodies super specific. He plans to continue to expose Lena to other diseases, ones that will get her sicker than chickenpox to prove that his method worked. Midazolam=Versed, an anesthetic that causes short-term amnesia, so she won't remember what happened. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and thanks for all the love.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beloved readers,
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me as I slowly update. It was so important to me that I got this chapter right. I hope that comes through. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting, and kudosing. 
> 
> Keep staying healthy, keep staying safe.

Lena clipped her volunteer physician badge to the front of her scrub top as she strode through the main entrance of Willowbrook Hospital, nodding briskly to the woman seated behind the reception desk. 

“Good morning, doctor,” the woman said politely, reassuring Lena that her disguise was effective. After all, only a handful of people knew she was supposed to be in quarantine, and as long as she could avoid them and act like she belonged, she probably wouldn’t be questioned. 

She stepped into an elevator and jabbed the button for the third floor, mentally rehearsing her plan. It was flimsy at best and downright dangerous at worst, but she was well past the point of caring about consequences. Nia had called shortly after she hung up with Jack to tell her that Kara had developed an arrythmia that Sam was having difficulty controlling. The defeat in Nia’s voice alone was enough to make Lena immediately scrap any intention she had of convening an internal review board and getting approval through proper channels. There was no time for that.

The elevator jerked to a stop and Lena straightened up, tugging her mask over as much of her face as possible. According to the maps she’d found on the internet, she’d have to traverse the makeshift PARVID ward that occupied most of the third floor in order to get to the defunct east wing where the lab was located. There was a chance that Kara’s room was located somewhere along her route, but Lena was doing her best not to think about it. When the doors slid open, she flew out into the vestibule and took an immediate right into a hallway lined with gurneys full of sick patients and staff jogging everywhere in a frenzy of confusion. Lena kept her head up and her eyes centered as she waded through the chaos, resisting the urge to break into a jog herself when she saw someone that looked like Sam. She reached the end of the hallway and turned the corner, spying the sign for the lab overhead. Giving herself no time to consider the possibility that the door might be locked, she grabbed the handle and twisted, sliding inside and shutting it behind her quietly. It was dark, so she patted along the wall until she found the light switch and flipped it on, bathing the room in flickering yellow fluorescence. 

Lena looked around slowly, her eyes watering at the thick layer of dust coating every surface. The lab was a relic that had been in disuse since the early nineties, and it was evident that no one had set foot it in it for years. Lena walked between the counters, lifting plastic covers with her index finger to peek at the machinery and trying not to shriek when the occasional spider skittered by. She finally found what she was looking for in a far corner against the wall, and it was much larger than she’d expected. She took a deep breath and held it as she whisked the cover off the prehistoric apheresis machine, launching a plume of dust into the air so thick she had to step away for a minute and wait for it to settle, sneezing violently. 

The machine was old, and the control panel was different than anything she’d seen in diagrams. Resigning herself to trial and error, she pressed buttons and flicked switches until a green light blinked on and a small analog readout said “ready.” Then she searched until she found all the equipment she needed in a drawer nearby. From there, it was just a matter of following a set of directions she’d memorized from an instruction manual she’d found online. 

When she was done with the setup, she found a chair to sit in, hooked the lines up to the IV catheters hanging out of each of her arms, and said a prayer to the gods of laboratory equipment before pressing the start button. There was a click and a whirr, and the machine gave an irritable shudder before bright red blood began trickling out of the tube in her left arm toward the machine. So far, so good. She waited with bated breath, staring fixedly at the collection bag until a stream of yellowish liquid appeared at the bottom. Lena let out a high-pitched squeal of delight that lasted for all of two seconds before a red light blinked on and an error message appeared on the screen.

“Egress malfunction?” she read out loud, frowning. The collection bag still seemed to be filling, so she couldn’t readily identify the problem until she checked on her right arm. The tube was empty, which meant the machine wasn’t returning her red blood cells: the ones that carried oxygen and were essential for life. “Fuck.” She wiggled the tube where it attached to the machine and cautiously pressed a few buttons before giving up out of fear that she would press the wrong thing and it would stop working entirely. She drummed her fingers on the counter for a few seconds before she conceded defeat and called Jack. 

“What now?” he said when he picked up. 

“Don’t be dramatic, I just have a question,” Lena said, intentionally keeping her tone as casual as possible. “That infusion range you gave me, how accurate is the minimum number, would you say?”

Jack sighed. “Why are you asking me this?”

Lena gave the empty tube a few perfunctory flicks. “Just…curious.”

“Uh huh. Hold on, let me calculate it again.” Lena propped her chin on her hand, watching the hypnotic trickle of plasma into the bag while she waited. “To be on the safe side, you’d want 800 mL, but you might be able to get by with a little less than that. Say 650-700.”

Lena rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Okay.”

“Why?”

“I said I was just curious.”

“Bullshit.”

She smirked. “Fine. I found a plasmapheresis machine, but it’s broken. It’s separating the plasma, but it isn’t returning my red blood cells.”

“Uh, you stopped it then, right?”

Lena glanced down at the blood running merrily down the tube in her arm and chewed her lip. “Yes, of course I stopped it. I’m not an idiot.”

“Uh huh,” Jack grunted, unconvinced. “Just for the record, even the lower end of the range would total half of your blood volume.”

Lena rolled her eyes. Jack had always been prone to hysterics. “Forty percent.”

“Forty percent is enough to put you in a coma.”

“Not right away,” Lena countered, digging around in one of the drawers beneath the counter.

“Lena…”

“I’m only joking,” Lena lied, uncapping the marker and writing on her forearm in large block lettering. “Thanks for all your help, Jack.”

“Will you leave me the Mercedes in your will?”

“Which?”

“The AMG.”

Lena finished writing and blew on the ink lightly. “Of course, darling, it’s all yours. Talk to you soon.”

She hung up before he could say anything else. On her arm she’d written “TYPE O-”

// 

Forty minutes passed, and Lena sat slumped on the musty linoleum floor among the dust bunnies with her back to the machine, staring up at the ceiling. Her thoughts slid by in distorted chunks that melted and stretched in a way that reminded her of the time she and Jess had done mushrooms in her office. She had to pinch herself every so often to keep her heavy eyelids from sliding shut and consigning her to eternity.

The machine beeped faintly in the background for some time before the noise registered in her consciousness and she realized that the bag was full. Gripping the edge of the counter, she hauled herself to her feet and swiped at the control panel lackadaisically with one hand until she grazed the off switch and the machine went quiet. 

“Nice work, old girl,” Lena slurred, patting the machine affectionately while the room spun around her like a carnival ride. She popped the tubes out of her arms and retrieved the collection bag, tucking it into the pocket of her scrubs. “A wheelchair would be great,” she muttered to herself as she shuffled her way across the lab and out into the hall, trailing her hand along the wall for balance. When she reached the ward, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her texts until she found the one from Nia with Kara’s room number. She looked at the placard on the door nearest her and squinted down the hallway, counting. When she identified the correct one, she took a deep breath and made a beeline for it, trying to keep her trajectory as straight as possible. She wrenched the door open and stumbled inside, hoping that no one had noticed an exsanguinated zombie staggering down the hall and breaking into patient rooms. 

She’d probably only gone about twenty yards, but she had to pause just inside the door to catch her breath, her heart working overtime to compensate for the blood loss. The room was close and claustrophobic, the overhead lights off and the shades closed. The bed nearest the door was stripped to the mattress, giving the impression it had been recently vacated. A curtain hid the other bed from view. When Lena felt like she’d successfully staved off syncope, she inched her way over to it and pushed the curtain aside slowly, bracing herself for whatever she might see. 

The person in the bed was only recognizable as Kara from the blonde braid that lay across her chest. Her head was craned back at an extreme angle from the endotracheal tube that was taped in place, and an assortment of lines and wires emerged from beneath her hospital gown, snaking in all directions and tethering her to various beeping machines. Her hand lay on the bed beside her, pale and limp and completely still. Lena walked to the bed and picked it up, examining the name on her wrist band to reassure herself that it was Kara, her Kara, because it didn’t look like her at all. It seemed far more likely that there had been some terrible mistake, and the Kara that she knew would breeze into the room at any moment and ask her if she minded writing a prescription for the patient in room three. 

Lena kissed the palm of her hand and set it back down gently as another wave of vertigo spun the room like a roulette wheel. Clinging to the railing on the side of her bed, she dragged herself step by step to the counter against the wall. Kara’s patient file was on it. With a shaky hand, Lena flipped the chart open and read the latest entry, signed by the cardiologist Sam had called for a consult. 

A:// Infective endocarditis possible secondary to PARVID. Fatal arrythmia likely. Prognosis poor. Contact next of kin and consider transitioning to supportive care.

Lena gaped at the entry, reading it two more times before dropping the chart back onto the counter like it had burned her. With an increased sense of urgency, she searched the cabinets overhead until she found a new IV set and attached it to the bag of plasma, hooking the line to a port on Kara’s existing catheter. She took a deep breath and twisted the roller clamp wide open, slumping on the narrow sliver of bed beside Kara when she was done, too exhausted to remain standing. 

“Please come back to me, Kara,” she murmured as all the color seeped out of the world and her vision grew dark. “Please, please come back.”

//

As usual, Lena dreamt of her father, but this time it was a little more straightforward. A memory.

She was in the middle of a final exam when she found out he was dying. 

“His brakes failed and he hit a tree,” Lex told her over the phone, sounding detached. “He’s on life support. If you want to say goodbye, I suggest you come now.”

Jack drove her home to National City, going well over the speed limit the entire way down the coastal California interstate. Lena sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window at the blue blur of the ocean, her cheeks dry, her mind empty. A world without Lionel was an impossibility, an insult to logic and reason.

By the time she got to his room he was already gone. She sat with his body long after everyone else had left, holding his hand as it cooled.

//

From far beneath the surface of awareness, interrupting her aimless drift in the darkness, Lena heard voices. 

“Hey, it’s just me. Everything okay?”

“Yep, the same. Weren’t you supposed to go home?”

“Yeah, Sam just caught me in the on-call room and yelled at me to go. I just wanted to see if you needed anything first.”

“No, I think we’re all set. Thanks, sweetie.” 

A pause, then:

“I’m sure she’ll come around soon.” 

“I hope so.”

“Text me if you need anything, okay? I’ll keep my ringer turned up.”

“Will do. Say hi to Brian for me.”

There was the click of a shutting door, a beat of silence, and then the sensation of lips on her forehead and a hand on her cheek. Animation flickered across Lena’s face at the familiar touch and she stirred. 

“Please come back to me,” said a voice that sounded just like Kara, but couldn’t be. Kara was on life support, near death. Fatal arrythmia likely, prognosis poor. “Please, Lena.” 

Fighting the temptation to sink back down into comfortable nothingness, Lena clawed her way to the surface instead, opening her eyes and blinking at the glare of the hospital room. Framed by the light overhead, a figure with a halo of blonde hair hovered above her, features blurred. Lena tried to speak and made an inarticulate noise instead. The figure bent down to hear her, revealing two enormous blue eyes behind a pair of glasses. 

Impossible.

“Kara?” Lena gasped, sucking in air like she hadn’t taken a breath in weeks and struggling to shove herself upright. Her head throbbed and a flurry of stars exploded behind her eyes. She groaned.

“Whoa, hang on, baby” Kara said, catching her by the shoulders and easing her back down. “Just take it easy or you’ll make yourself sick.” 

Wincing, Lena settled her head back against the pillow and squeezed her eyes shut until the flashing aura disappeared. When she opened them, she expected Kara to be gone too, but she was still there, stroking her face and looking down at her with concern. Her eyes were clear and bright, her cheeks filled out and rosy. There was no evidence of her illness apart from the faint marks left by the tape that had secured the endotracheal tube in place. Lena briefly considered the possibility that they were both dead, but she doubted the afterlife would smell so strongly of disinfectant. 

“You’re not sick.”

The corner of Kara’s mouth quirked. “No. All better.” She reached under Lena’s blanket to fuss with her IV line. 

Speechless, Lena reached for her and Kara leaned forward obligingly, resting her cheek in Lena’s cupped palm. She was so warm and solid and real that, despite feeling like death warmed over, Lena smiled. Sheer relief filled her up from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet like a golden liquid. Kara smiled back, turning her head to kiss her fingers. 

“What happened?” Lena asked, struggling to dispel the fog in her brain. Most of her recent memories consisted of short, broken snippets that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. 

“Uh, well,” Kara said, lacing their fingers together and carefully avoiding the catheter taped to the back of Lena’s hand, “you’ve been unconscious and getting a blood transfusion for the last eight hours.” When her words sunk in, the scattered puzzle pieces in Lena’s brain started to slide together to form a picture, and she slowly started to remember the events that had preceded her present situation. She lifted her other arm, and when she saw the smeared permanent marker ink, she slid her gaze back up to Kara, whose look of consternation was difficult to interpret. 

“Oh. Right.”

“Lena, you almost died,” Kara said, her voice cracking in a way that implied that she had been trying to maintain a positive affect for hours and was too tired to continue. Her stress was evident by the deep red crease that was etched between her eyes. “I’m sorry, it’s just- you lost so much blood. I thought-” Kara bit off her own words and shook her head. “I was so scared. And no one even understands what happened. Sam thinks you used your plasma to cure me.” She looked like she wanted to believe that this was a wildly unlikely speculation, but when Lena dropped her eyes and didn’t say anything, she asked in horror, “wait, did you?”

“…Maybe.”

Kara slumped and her mouth dropped open slightly. “Why? Why would you do that?”

Lena looked at Kara frankly, trying to figure out how to explain to her that she was afraid that she would disappear if she looked away from her, even for a moment. That she wanted to spend the next several hours with her ear pressed against her chest so she could listen to the sound of her healthy lungs, the beat of her healthy heart. She wanted to run her hands over every square inch of her skin until she was convinced that she wouldn’t simply vanish like smoke through her fingertips. 

“Because-” she began, and then a voice in the doorway shattered the moment like a fist through glass. 

“Danvers!” Sam Arias bellowed as she charged into the room, ripping her mask off her face. Kara lurched backward like she’d been caught with an invisible stage hook. “How many times do I have to tell you to stay in bed?”

“Sorry, sorry!” Kara put her hands up as Sam stalked toward her like an angry tiger. “It’s just-”

“How many times? Who do you think you are? Supergirl?”

“No, I-”

“Your lungs need time to heal! Your immune system still needs to recover! I don’t care what kind of hocus pocus Luthor blood magic she administered, you’re still a human being that needs to rest! Fussing over your girlfriend like an Italian grandmother isn’t going to make her wake up any sooner!”

Falling over her own feet, Kara folded into the chair beside Lena’s bed and pointed at her. “But she is awake!” 

Sam spun on her heel and saw Lena. A glimmer of joy and relief flitted across her face, but only for a split second, then it was gone. “Luthor,” she growled, her eyebrows drawing down. 

“Hello, Sam,” Lena said nervously, cowering as she loomed over the bed. Deep purple bags lined her eyes and the bridge of her nose was rubbed raw from her mask. She looked like she hadn’t slept in a week, which probably wasn’t far from the truth. When she spoke, her voice was low and threatening. 

“Glad you decided to join us. It’s wonderful to see you. Now. If you could please tell me.” 

Lena looked at her questioningly. “Tell you what?”

“What the HELL were you thinking? Are you absolutely out of your mind?”

“Hey, come on, Sam,” Kara bristled, starting to stand up. “She just woke up. I don’t think-”

Without looking, Sam reached behind her and planted her hand on the top of Kara’s head, pushing her back down into her seat firmly. “For god’s sake, Danvers, sit DOWN.”

Lena caught Kara’s eye and swallowed. “I’m sorry, but if you’ll let me explain, I-”

“Nia came in here to check on Kara this morning and screamed bloody freaking murder when she found you. Do you know how dead you looked?” 

“No,” Lena said, shrinking down into her pillow.

Sam abandoned her feigned calm and erupted. “REALLY. FREAKING. DEAD. Like on the floor with your head split open, as white as a sheet, DEAD. I had to put EIGHT STITCHES in your scalp.” 

Lena reached up and touched the back of her head gingerly. That explained the throbbing. Meanwhile, Kara’s rapidly mounting level of distress indicated that this was the first time she’d heard the events of the morning recounted in such vivid detail. 

Sam paced to the foot of her bed and ripped the clipboard off, riffling through the pages before holding it aloft and pointing at something as if Lena could read the tiny numbers. “Your hemoglobin was six. SIX! At first I thought you had an internal bleed somewhere, but I couldn’t find anything on imaging, so I was on the verge of looking up an ICD-10 code for a vampire attack when all of the sudden this one wakes up and starts fighting her tube and I happen to notice an empty bag of plasma hanging over her head! I didn’t order plasma! I asked Dr. Morton, ‘did you order plasma for my PARVID patient in room 318?’ and he’s like, ‘no I didn’t order any plasma, but did you hear about the lab?’ and I said, ‘no what about the lab?’ and he said, ‘maintenance found a bunch of blood leaking out of the broken apheresis machine, like something out of The Shining!’ That’s pretty weird, huh?”

Sam stared at her goggle-eyed until Lena realized the question was directed at her. “Yes, that is pretty weird.”

“Now, stop me if I’m wrong, but I can’t think of anyone else in this hospital that would use a broken apheresis machine to drain half their blood.”

“Forty percent,” Lena countered reflexively. 

Sam looked ready to spontaneously combust. “Forty percent?! You’re lucky to be alive, you idiot!”

“No, I’m lucky to have you as my doctor,” Lena said, infusing the statement with as much gratitude as she could muster. She’d grown up with Lillian, she didn’t mind being yelled at by Sam in the slightest. Predictably, Sam’s mouth snapped shut and all the indignance seemed to whistle out of her like air out of a punctured balloon. “I’m sorry, Sam. I truly am. I didn’t mean to frighten you and Nia. I just-” Lena looked at Kara. “I had to do it.” 

Sam sighed and nudged Kara to scoot over. “So it’s true. It’s actually true. You bled yourself out and used your magic blood to save your girlfriend. Right? I’m not hallucinating from lack of sleep?” 

Lena shook her head. “You’re not hallucinating.”

“How?” 

“It’s a very long story.”

“Fine,” Sam said, sighing and rubbing her face, “I don’t need to know. But whatever happened, you didn’t need to risk your life for it. I don’t give a shit about getting in trouble, I would have helped you.” 

Lena raised an eyebrow skeptically. “You would have helped me administer a completely unapproved treatment based on a theory that my genetically modified cells make me immune to PARVID?”

Sam picked her head up off her hand and glared. “Of course I would have helped you, you crackhead. You’re Lena Luthor.”

//

When Lena’s blood count normalized, Kara begged Sam to release them until she grudgingly signed the forms, imploring them to call her if either of them became symptomatic again. She did not look reassured when Kara reminded her that they were both doctors. 

“I know,” she said, rolling her eyes. “That’s the part I’m worried about.” 

When they got back to the Winchester, well after midnight, they’d gone to their respective rooms to clean up and change, agreeing to regroup in the living room when they were done. Lena had been relieved to see that Kara seemed as anxious as she was, bumbling into the wall on her way to her bedroom after Lena had kissed her on the cheek. All she could think about was pouring herself a scotch as a balm for her jangling nerves, but Sam had the foresight to forbid alcohol as she’d given them their discharge instructions. 

Lena stepped out of the shower, toweling her hair dry gingerly and doing her best to avoid the line of stitches in her scalp. She opened the door of the bathroom to let the humid air out and cocked her head toward the hallway, listening for Kara, but it was silent. She dressed herself in a pair of pajamas and lingered in her room a few more minutes, hoping she was just moving slowly and hadn’t forgotten about her. When five minutes went by and she couldn’t wait any longer, she padded out of her room and down the darkened hallway. Kara’s door was closed, so she steeled herself and lifted her hand to knock. She stopped when she heard Kara’s disgruntled voice on the other side.

“Okay, can you stop calling her ‘the Luthor’ like that though? It’s weird. Her name is Lena. And what do you mean, tell her you’re sorry?”

Lena pressed her ear against the doorjamb in shameless curiosity. 

“Well yeah, I hope she would understand what you mean, because I don’t. Does this have something to do with that conversation you had with her on the phone? I knew she was acting weird when she mentioned that. What did you say?”

Lena’s eyes widened. The strain in Kara’s voice made her gnaw her bottom lip.

“Yeah, I will talk to her and find out for myself, thank you very much. You know you’re being kind of a butt, Alex. Yeah, you are. And I’m going to tell dad when I call him tomorrow. Yes, after I explain that I ran away to Metropolis and got PARVID. He’ll probably feel bad for me, unlike you.”

Lena raised her eyebrows. Speaking to Lex like that about something that was upsetting him was a good way to end up locked in the basement for a few days. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow. Yes, as soon as I wake up. The very moment I part my eyelids. I won’t even pee first, I’ll just call you from the toilet. Uh huh. I love you, too. Goodnight.” 

The bedsprings squeaked as Kara got up, and in her haste to get away, Lena’s foot caught the corner of the runner and she started to fall backward, wind-milling her arms in the air cartoonishly just as Kara wrenched the door open. 

“Lena!” In one graceful motion, Kara lunged forward and caught her by her upper arm, pulling her flush against her body. Heart pounding, Lena started to stutter an excuse, but Kara just grinned and pulled her off her feet into a rib-cracking hug. “Hi,” she said when she set her down. “I’m sorry for taking so long, I just got off the phone with my sister.” 

“That’s alright,” Lena said stiffly, still breathless. She did her best not to stare, but Kara was wearing nothing but a too-small tank top and a pair of shorts, her hair a waterfall of loose gold curls around her shoulders. When Lena noticed that she was being watched with an identically smitten expression, she jerked her gaze away, biting her lip. “May I?” she asked playfully, gesturing at the doorway. 

“Oh!” Kara stammered, stepping aside to let Lena walk into the room. “Yeah, I wasn’t sure where you wanted to…um…”

“My pillow is in here, anyway,” Lena said, brushing her fingertips along the exposed strip of skin on Kara’s abdomen as she walked by and resisting the temptation to look and see the effect it had on her. The room was mostly dark except for the soft glow of the lamp on the bedside table and the city lights outside the window. The bed, which Lena had left in a rumpled mess, was neatly made and turned down, the pillows meticulously fluffed. Unsure of what to do with herself, she perched on the edge and glanced at Kara, who looked similarly afflicted with awkwardness.

“How’s your head?” Kara asked, walking over and sitting down beside her. She reached for Lena’s hand.

“Tolerable,” she replied, watching Kara’s face affectionately as she examined her fingernails and pressed on the nailbeds. “Do you want to check my sutures, too?”

Kara’s head popped up eagerly. “Can I?”

Lena smiled and nodded. Kara climbed across the bed and sat with her back to the headboard, separating her knees and patting the space between them. Lena settled down in front of her and tried not to flinch as her fingers started to probe her scalp gently. “How do they look?”

“I should have just washed your hair for you. One is coming untied.” Surprised, Lena reached back automatically to feel it, but Kara caught her wrist. “No, don’t touch it, babe. Can you reach my bag?”

Lena leaned off the side of the bed and snatched the bag off the dresser, handing it back to her. “And how are you feeling?” she inquired as Kara rummaged around in it. “If I didn’t know better I would think I was the one who was sick.” 

“Well, you are the one who drained half your blood into a broken machine,” Kara teased promptly. Lena opened her mouth to retort, but Kara pinched her lightly on the meat of her hip before she could. “Don’t you dare say it.” Lena grinned as Kara parted her hair and piled it on top of her head. “Hold?” She reached up obediently and and hissed between her teeth when Kara pulled the loose suture shut with a needle driver and pair of forceps. “Anyway, I feel fine,” Kara said finally. 

“Are you sure?” Lena asked, unconvinced. She willed herself to stay as still as possible while Kara made a series of tiny knots. When she was done, she set the bag back on the bedside table and wrapped her arms around Lena’s middle, pulling her backward against her chest. “I mean, yeah, physically I feel fine. Thanks to you.” She buried her face in Lena’s hair and kissed her behind the ear. “You crazy person.” 

“And how are you feeling otherwise?” Lena asked with no intention of letting it slide. 

“Um. Well, honestly, I just had kind of a weird conversation with Alex.”

“Oh?” Lena prompted, fidgeting with a loose thread in Kara’s pants and making a mental note to buy her new pajamas.

“She told me to tell you that she’s sorry. She said you would know why.” Lena froze, suddenly understanding the direction the conversation was headed in. “Lena?” Kara urged, squeezing her hips lightly with her knees. 

“Hm?”

“Do you know why?” Kara repeated. 

“I-yes.” 

“Then can you share with the class? You’re making me super nervous.” 

Lena spun herself ninety degrees and took a deep breath before she answered. As much as she hated it, she had to get it over with. Kara deserved to know the truth. “When I spoke to her on the phone after you went into the hospital, the conversation wasn’t exactly…amicable,” she began.

A crease formed between Kara’s eyes. “What do you mean?”

“She wasn’t thrilled to find out who I was.”

“Okay, that’s weird,” Kara said, her eyes darting back and forth between Lena’s. “Why?”

The vice around Lena’s chest, which had loosened considerably since Kara had recovered tightened down again with a vengeance. “She blamed me for the fact that you were in Metropolis.”

“What?” Kara sputtered. “That’s ridiculous.”

“No, it’s not,” Lena said, dropping Kara’s gaze and twisting her hands in her lap. 

Kara flailed her own hands in the air helplessly. “Baby, please tell me what’s going on,” she beseeched her, “this is killing me.”

Lena pulled her eyes back up. She felt like she was sliding toward a chasm. “When we spoke, Alex was very upset, and she told me some…things.”

Kara, who had been sitting up ramrod straight, sagged against the headboard, her face falling precipitously. “Fuck.”

Before Kara’s misery could drain her of the willpower to speak, Lena barreled on. “She told me that you haven’t been doing well. And that your mother died. And…”

“And?” Kara prompted desperately, as if she could imagine what Lena was about to say and just wanted to get it over with. 

Biting back tears, Lena let the rest out in a flood. “And that you lost your job, and that was the reason you went to Metropolis to volunteer.”

Kara looked taken aback. “Oh. But that has nothing to do with you,” she said, frowning. 

“It has everything to do with me,” Lena said, her jaw trembling at the effort it took to keep the tears at bay. “Luthor Corp is the company that bought Midvale Community. I was the one that ruined your life. And I’m the reason you ended up in Metropolis and got sick.” 

Kara couldn’t have looked more shocked if she’d hit her. “You…what?”

The warm feeling that had been present in Lena’s chest only moments ago froze over, solidifying and cracking into a hundred tiny pieces with jagged edges. “I ruined your life,” she repeated, barely audible. It was the first time she’d truly acknowledged it. Sober, at least. The shame that settled over her felt familiar and almost comforting, like a well-worn sweater. 

Kara was silent. She shoved her glasses back up on her face from where’d they’d been hanging off the edge of her nose and her lips moved without forming words, as if she were watching an accident unfold in front of her that was too tragic to comprehend. “Are you serious?”

“Of course I’m serious.” 

“You think you ruined my life?”

She couldn’t understand why Kara was pressing the point so hard, but she supposed she deserved it. “Yes, I do.”

“You didn’t ruin my life,” Kara said in complete disbelief. “You saved it.” 

“What?” Lena snapped, her eyes flying up. “No, you don’t get it.’

“Um, yes I do get it,” Kara replied with renewed conviction, sitting up. Her eyes glittered like crystals in blue fire. “Will you please stop being so hell-bent on hating yourself for a second and listen to me?” 

There was no point to resisting, so Lena nodded. “Fine.”

“First of all, I don’t care what company bought Midvale, and I wouldn’t have cared at the time, either. My mom’s diagnosis made everything else wrong with my life seem like a joke. Plus, if I hadn’t gotten laid off, I would have had to quit anyway, because she needed full-time care. Alex was in denial, all she did was work, and my dad was so messed up over it that he could barely take care of himself.” Kara paused and ran her fingers through her hair, looking haunted at the mere memory of it. “At the end, she was in too much pain to fight it anymore, so she signed a DNR order and made me promise not to do anything when she went into cardiac arrest. When it happened, I had to just sit there and watch her die.”

“Oh Kara,” Lena hushed, gathering her ice-cold hands into her lap. She pulled them away and swiped at her cheeks impatiently before continuing. 

“After she died, I stopped caring about anything. I had three job interviews I was supposed to go on, and I didn’t show up to any of them. I just holed up in my house and I didn’t speak to anyone. For months I woke up and fed Rex and tried to make it as long as I could before I caved in and opened a bottle of whiskey. Most days I couldn’t even make it to noon. I didn’t answer any of my friends’ phone calls, I started hooking up with a guy from high school that I hate. I was a mess. When the call for volunteers came out, I just ignored Alex and went because I felt like if I didn’t go, I didn’t know what would happen to me. I felt like I was…I don’t know…”

“Losing yourself,” Lena filled in easily. 

“Yeah,” Kara said in surprise, looking up. “Yes, exactly like that. I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. But then-” she looked up at the ceiling, shaking her head. When she looked back at Lena, her tone shifted. “But then I got here and met I you and I started to see myself in a different light. It was like I could see myself through your eyes, and I thought that if someone as incredible and brave and intelligent as you could like me, then maybe I wasn’t so bad after all.” 

Lena gaped at her. It was as if Kara was seeing the words that had been written on her own heart since they met and was simply reading them out loud. “You saved me, Lena. You saved my soul even before you saved my actual life, and then you almost died to save that, too. The least you can do is at least stop blaming yourself for stuff that isn’t even your fault.” When she ran out of steam, she shrugged, suddenly self-conscious. She looked at Lena as if awaiting a judgement. 

“Kara, you’re the best person I’ve ever met. You don’t deserve any of the horrible things that happened to you. You’re so good.” 

“But you are, too,” Kara said, gathering Lena’s hands in hers, her eyes adamant. “Don’t you understand that?” She swept the pad of her thumb across Lena’s wet cheek and kissed her. “Lena, I love you,” she said sincerely. “I’ve loved you since the moment we met.”

Instinctually, Lena wanted to protest that she couldn’t possibly mean it. It was too much, too strong, too soon. She had surely misjudged her feelings; she didn’t know Lena well enough yet to say something so fraught, so permanent. But then, listening to a voice that spoke from deep inside her, she decided to do something unusual. With every ounce of courage she could muster, she took Kara’s words at face value and responded to them with what was true. 

“I love you, too.” 

Her words hung in the air, spoken aloud for the first time ever to anyone, and her future seemed to unfold in front of her all at once. It would have frightened her if it weren’t made entirely of the person sitting in front of her, smiling at her reverently with depthless blue eyes. The curtains rippled and a breeze drifted in through the window, skimming across Lena’s face. The air had a clean smell to it, a little like the ocean, a little like Kara. 

When they kissed, something sealed between them, knitting them together in one piece, an inevitable, resonant bond.

//

The wail of sirens carried in through the open window and woke Lena in the middle of the night. She squinted into the darkness and shivered, trying to remember falling asleep. It had to have been a while because their body heat had long since dissipated and the room was cold. She rolled out of bed and crept across the room to close the window. When she returned, Kara was awake, watching her with hooded eyes.

“Am I dreaming?” she mumbled as Lena slid in beside her and pulled the covers over. 

“What makes you think you are?” she asked, snuggling in as close to Kara as she could get, relishing her warmth. 

“You’re naked,” Kara replied sleepily.

“Am I always naked in your dreams?” she asked, running her fingers along the back of Kara’s neck and down her spine. 

Kara shivered. “Usually,” she replied, rolling onto one arm and propping herself above her. She smiled. “So? Am I dreaming?” 

Lena’s hand closed in the hair at the base of Kara’s neck, and she pulled her forward. “I’m actually not sure either,” she mused, before kissing her and rocking her hips up. “But we can just keep doing this until we figure it out.”

Kara bit Lena’s bottom lip lightly, her breath hot on her face. “In that case, I hope we never do.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the increasingly infrequent updates, finding time to write is a herculean effort. 
> 
> Stay healthy and safe.
> 
> <3

Lena bolted upright in bed with a gasp, startled awake by the shrill beep of the hallway smoke detector and the vague smell of burning food. 

“Kara,” she mumbled groggily, swiping her mussed hair out of her eyes and patting the space beside her until she was lucid enough to notice it was empty. Frowning, she fumbled around on the nightstand until she found her glasses and jammed them onto her face, squinting around the dim room. She’d been sleeping like the dead, and the clock on the nightstand read just past eight in the morning. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept past six, and she felt a rather satisfying sense of self-indulgence about it.

Assuming the culinary conflagration was the result of Kara making breakfast, Lena fought to free her limbs from the tangle of sheets twisted around her body and propelled herself out of bed to help her. The moment she was on her feet she sank back down again, clutching her head and groaning. Some combination of post-concussive syndrome and Kara-induced sleep deprivation had left her with a bear of a headache. She sat with her eyes closed and waited to recover, the memories of their night together flooding back in flashes and snippets. 

She found herself smiling helplessly despite the grating sound of the alarm just outside the door and the generalized sense of foreboding that was slowly uncurling in her stomach. Kara was healthy again, they were together, and despite everything, Kara loved her. The prospect of her apartment burning to the ground seemed almost trivial. 

When she was steady enough to stand, Lena got up and scoured the room for her pajamas, keeping one ear cocked toward the door. Her bottoms were balled up beneath an ottoman on the other side of the room and her shirt was nowhere to be found, so she snatched up Kara’s tank top and pulled it over her head, still tugging it over her abdomen as she spilled out into the hallway barefoot. 

“Kara?” she called again, rounding the corner into the kitchen and immediately starting to cough. Smoke billowed out of the top of the stove in a thick black cloud. Without time to speculate on why the cook had abandoned her post and praying the fire extinguisher had been serviced sometime in the last decade, Lena yanked it out from underneath the sink and had just pointed the nozzle when a pair of arms grabbed her from behind and hauled her backward. The smell of Old Spice and the realization that she’d been lured into a trap hit her like a truck. 

“Don’t scream, Ms. Lena,” Rocco grunted in her ear, clapping a hand over her mouth for good measure. 

Stars exploded in her vision as the back of her head connected with his chest, and when they dissipated, Tony had materialized in her line of sight, looking uncharacteristically disheveled. His usually neatly coifed hair was in disarray and his shirt was wrinkled, the sleeves rolled to the elbow. He thrust his hand out at her, curling his lip the way one might at a disobedient dog. 

“Gimme that,” he demanded in the condescension-laced tone he’d used with her since she was a teenager. Instead of intimidating her into submission, it filled her with a white-hot fury that blazed up in her chest like flames through dry brush.

Hugging the extinguisher against her body to prevent Tony from tearing it out of her arms, she opened her mouth and bit down on the meaty party of Rocco’s thumb, eliciting a blood-curdling shriek of pain that defied belief coming out of such a large man. The instant he released her, Lena wound up and hurled the heavy metal canister at Tony’s chest with as much force as she could muster before whirling and making a mad dash for the living room. 

She dove headlong for the coffee table and slapped the underside until her finger caught the release button of the hidden compartment. By some miracle, Rocco had neglected to remove the taser and it fell right into her hand. Lena rolled onto her back and pointed it up at him as he crossed the room and closed in on her. She was aiming methodically at the strip of hairy chest just visible through the unbuttoned collar of his shirt when a coolly authoritative voice cut through the commotion like a knife through butter. 

“Stop.” 

Rocco ceased his advancement and froze like a paused tape recording, blood dripping from his hand onto the carpet. Lena turned her head in time to see Lex rise from the couch where he’d been calmly observing the proceedings, dexterously buttoning his suit jacket with long, well-manicured fingers. 

“Not you, imbecile,” he called to Tony in the kitchen, who nodded and resumed spraying the fire. He rolled his eyes and looked down at Lena. “Good morning, little sister.” 

In all the many iterations of how she’d imagined her inevitable abduction would go, not one had featured him putting in an in-person appearance. “Lex.” 

His slid his hands into his pant pockets and watched her with polite interest, as if they’d just happened to run into each other over drinks and she wasn’t lying on the ground with a taser, her sweaty hair plastered to her forehead. “Why don’t you put that down and have a seat so we can discuss the situation like adults?” he asked, gesturing at the weapon. “There’s no need for theatrics.” 

“You’re the one who broke into my apartment and set it on fire,” Lena retorted, pushing herself up into a seated position and scooting backward until she was pressed against the armchair behind her. 

Lex looked offended. “Break in? I own this hideous building. And we didn’t set the fire, there was unattended bacon in the oven.” He grinned. 

“Where’s Kara?” Lena snapped, leveling the taser at him. 

His eyes flashed, mischievous. “Who?” he asked guilelessly. 

Lena was on her feet faster than Rocco could shift his bulk to intercept her. She pressed the muzzle of the taser into the soft flesh just beneath Lex’s chin and repeated in a hiss, “where the hell is she, Lex?”

“Well, you seem to have acquired a backbone,” he observed, cocking his head back. 

Lena curled her finger around the trigger until she’d taken all the slack out. “If you hurt her…”

Lex chuckled, his exhaled breath washing over her face with a sickening familiarity: mint layered over the sharp tang of expensive alcohol. “Rocco, you’d better retrieve my sister’s pet before she goes full Charlize Theron on the three of us.”

Rocco nodded but looked loathe to leave the two of them alone together. “Sure, boss.” 

Lena watched him disappear down the hallway out of the tail of her eye, not daring to take her eyes off Lex even for a moment. When Tony was done putting out the fire he followed his brother, pausing briefly to smash the still-bleating alarm off the wall with his fist. Lena held Lex’s gaze in the hazy gray smoke that had slowly filled the room and did her best to ignore the trickle of sweat tracking down the side of her face. He smirked at her, unnervingly unfazed by the circumstances. 

“You seem tense,” he commented lightly, bringing his finger up to touch a mark Kara had left on her neck, just below her ear. “And dare I say, a little disheveled?” Lena gritted her teeth, refusing to allow herself to be baited. “You know, I never took you for a deviant, but I suppose one learns something new every day.”

“Shut up, Lex.” 

His eyes sparkled. “And what is this you’re wearing? Is that the Superman emblem?” He plucked at the front of her tank top. “This shirt is a bit small for you, darling, don’t you think? Can you imagine what mother would say if she saw your tummy hanging out like this in front of company?” He continued to trail his hand down until it reached the bare skin of her abdomen and he pinched her, digging his thumbnail into the soft flesh.

Lena flinched and sucked in a sharp breath, almost surrendering her grip before she was able to recover her composure. She pressed the taser into his neck hard enough to make him wince and swallow, glaring up at him from beneath eyelashes wet with furious tears. “Don’t touch me.” 

He grinned wickedly, smug with the satisfaction of having successfully provoked her. “Oh, don’t cry, baby sister,” he chuckled, pouting his lips out at her. “Look, here comes your little girlfriend now.”

Lena’s head swiveled. Tony and Rocco were making their way around the corner, dragging Lena’s oversized leather desk chair between them with Kara bound to it with duct tape, her face apoplectic with rage. 

Lena gasped. “Kara!”

Lena recognized the handkerchief stuffed in her mouth as the one Lex normally wore in his breast pocket. Her glasses lay askance across the bridge of her nose, a jagged crack splitting one lens in half. Beneath, one eye was black and swollen shut, and Lena suddenly understood why Tony looked as if he’d been in a fight. She was still wearing the apron she’d been cooking in over Lena’s sleep shirt, which appeared to be dusted with pancake flour and dried blood.

Lena fisted her hand in the front Lex’s crisp suit jacket and dragged him down until they were inches apart. “She’s injured, you son of a bitch.”

“She didn’t leave us much of a choice,” he protested, “she kneed Tony in the groin so hard I was afraid he would need emergency surgery to recover his testicles from his abdominal cavity.” Behind them, Rocco snickered.

“Tell them to untie her. Now. Or you’ll require emergency surgery to extract this taser from your-”

“Alright, alright,” Lex interjected, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Lena. You’re usually such a pacifist.” He gave Tony a small nod over her shoulder. Tony bent over Kara, obscuring what he was doing from view. When he straightened up, he was holding a syringe full of clear liquid attached to a tube that was dangling from her inner arm. He placed his thumb over the plunger pointedly, his expression triumphant as Lena’s jaw dropped open in horror. Kara pulled at the duct tape around her wrists and growled unintelligibly. 

“No,” Lena whispered, realizing she’d been duped. Tony flicked his index finger against the barrel of the syringe and her knees turned to water. 

“Check,” Lex said mildly. 

“No,” Lena repeated helplessly. 

“I know, darling, what a shame you never got the hang of proper strategy,” Lex sighed sympathetically. “Now, why don’t you back up and hand the taser to Rocco?”

“Just say the word, boss,” Tony said, sneering down at Kara. She glared back at him, her intact eye flashing blue fire. Lena hastily relinquished her grip on Lex’s lapel and lowered the weapon, hating herself. 

“There’s a good girl,” Lex said with approval. He brushed the wrinkles out of his jacket while she gave the taser to Rocco, who met her eyes briefly. She wasn’t sure if she was imagining it, but he looked almost disappointed.

When Kara realized Lena was giving up, she redoubled her efforts at freeing herself, straining against her bonds so hard the muscles in her neck stood out in tight ropes. Lex regarded her with amusement. 

“You shouldn’t stress yourself, Dr. Danvers,” he said, affecting concern. “I understand you’re still in recovery from a recent illness.” She snarled something back at him, and unable to resist his own curiosity, he reached out and plucked the fabric from her mouth deftly. “I beg your pardon, what did you say?” 

“I said, ‘fuck you,’” Kara replied defiantly before spitting a mouthful of blood onto his immaculately shined shoes.

A beat of stunned silence followed in which Lena suddenly felt weightless, as if she’d stepped off the edge into a deep chasm and was in freefall. The cordial mask Lex had been wearing dissolved off his face like a magic trick, and his hand darted out to snatch the syringe out of Tony’s hand. He crushed his thumb against the plunger.

Lena screamed Kara’s name and lunged forward, but Rocco caught her by the ponytail and yanked her back before she could reach them. She struggled against Rocco, kicking and punching, but he wrapped his arms around her in a firm bear hug and held on fast, muttering something that she couldn’t hear over the roar of blood in her ears. 

There was a sickening gurgle as Lex squeezed the last of the liquid into Kara’s arm. He watched her face adamantly, waiting for the drug to take effect, then threw the syringe into her lap and stalked to the couch, snatching his handkerchief off the floor. 

“I cannot abide disrespect,” he muttered through gritted teeth. He sat down and set about scrubbing the blood from his patent leather shoes, maniacal in his intensity. 

Lena twisted wildly in Rocco’s grasp until he released her. She rushed over to Kara and caught her face in her palms just as her head rolled forward on her neck. She slapped her cheeks frantically and repeated her name until one glazed-over blue eye reappeared. 

“Lena,” she mumbled, barely conscious. A trickle of blood tracked its way out of the right side of her mouth. “Don’t give up. Fight him. You can do it.”

“Please don’t leave me Kara,” Lena begged, hot tears pouring down her cheeks, blurring her vision. It was so horrifyingly unfair that she could barely believe it was real. “I just got you back.”

“Just keep fighting,” Kara repeated, slurring her words. “I believe in you, Lena.” 

Her eyelid slid shut again and remained that way. “Kara!” she cried. When she didn’t respond, Lena groaned deep in her throat and shook her desperately by the shoulders until a hand closed on the nape of her neck and dragged her to her feet. Tony manhandled her roughly into the armchair opposite the couch and shoved her into it. She tried to get back up, but he pushed her back down and stood over her with his arms crossed. 

Defeated, she let her arms fall limply into her lap and stared at Kara in shock, feeling herself start to collapse inward on the negative space in her chest created by Kara’s sudden absence. The gravitational force would crush her until she was nothing more than a speck, a mote of dust that Lex could dispose of with a sweep of his hand.

Lex finished cleaning his shoes and pointed at Kara. “Remove this,” he said to Rocco. To Lena, he said, “I hope you realize that this is entirely your fault.”

Lena stared at him blankly, too stunned to be indignant. Out of the corner of her eye, Rocco was shaking his head furiously and mouthing something at her. She blinked to clear the acid fog in her head and squinted at him.

“I tried to warn you,” Lex continued, “I gave you ample opportunity to correct your mistake, but you continued to defy me. You forced my hand.”

Rocco jabbed his finger at the back of Kara's head and mouthed the word again, enunciating it. 

Alive. 

Lena’s heart stuttered and her eyes widened in comprehension. Rocco nodded enthusiastically and flashed her a thumbs up. 

“Lena! Are you listening to me?” Lex barked shrilly, balling his hands into fists and slamming them down on his knees. Lena jerked her head up, tearing her gaze away from Kara’s face. 

“Yes, of course, I-”

Lex clapped briskly and without warning, leaving Lena no time to brace herself. Tony raised his arm high above his head and brought it down hard, backhanding her. The force of the blow rocked her head sideways and the signet ring he wore with the big diamond “L” connected with her cheek hard enough to make it crack audibly. When she opened her eyes, Lex was standing over her, his face twisted with rage and a vein in his forehead pulsating.

“You will listen to me when I am speaking to you,” he yelled, “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me. Your disloyalty is astounding.”

Lena recoiled from him and touched her cheek tentatively. It was already hot and swollen, and rage was quickly replacing her terror. Her mind flashed to the memory of her father giving her the ring that had belonged to her mother. 

“Do you know what the crown means, Lena?” his ghost whispered in her ear. 

“I have never been disloyal to this family,” she hissed. 

“Ha!” Lex burst out, whirling on his heel and beginning to pace. “You abandoned your work and left National City without my permission. That alone was bad enough. But then you went and wasted your precious serum on an unemployed alcoholic!” He stopped and squeezed his temples between his palms. “Do you have the slightest idea how long it will take for you to regenerate enough antibodies for extraction? Do you know how long I’ve been working on this? Just for you to throw it all away on some worthless nobody?”

Lena’s insides turned to ice. “How do you know about that?” 

He narrowed his eyes and sniffed in disbelief. “What, did you think you were being sneaky? I suppose you thought I wouldn’t notice Luthornet had been hacked into, or the money in your bank account was gone. You know, Lena, for being a supposed genius you’re awfully transparent.” He smirked, relishing the anticipation of her reaction. “And not to mention, your precious Jack crumbled under a little pressure like a wet paper bag.” 

Lena jerked up, her heart sinking. “What did you do to him?”

“Oh, less than you’d think. Truthfully, I was a little disappointed. I thought he was in love with you. But then again…” He paused, dragging his eyes up and down the length of her body pointedly. “I’ve never understood that myself. Perhaps he’s finally come to terms with how little you offer him in exchange for his devotion.” 

He watched her eagerly, waiting for his words to take effect, but Lena gritted her teeth and said nothing. She thought about Kara, unconscious in the other room. The only thing that mattered was protecting her. “That’s too bad,” she deadpanned, keeping her countenance carefully blank. Lex looked disappointed. 

“We’re going home,” he said abruptly. “Clean yourself up and put on decent clothes.” He curled his lip, giving her a final once-over. “And do something about your face. Mother won’t like it.”

//

Lena knew she needed a plan, but her mind spun like tires in a snowbank, making a lot of noise but not going anywhere. 

She stood in front of her bathroom mirror and hastily applied concealer to the side of her face where an angry purple welt had formed, dabbing furiously for several minutes before conceding defeat and tossing the tube onto the counter. She raked her hair up into a high bun and emptied half a bottle of hairspray onto her head before shuffling back into her room to rummage through her drawer, tossing aside piles of scrubs until she found the outfit she’d worn on the plane to Metropolis. Her blouse was halfway over her head when there was a light tapping on her bedroom door. She froze. 

“Ms. Lena?” came Rocco’s attempt at a whisper through the crack.

She pulled the shirt on the rest of the way and tucked it into her skirt as she edged toward the door. “Rocco?” she asked, turning the knob cautiously and easing it open, half-expecting to be lured into another trap.

He pressed his big face into the gap. “Can I come in?”

Lena recoiled away from him. “Tell Lex I’m almost done; I’m just getting dressed.”

He shook his head. “Boss ain’t here. He and Tony are waiting in the car. Open the door, will ya?”

He started to nudge it open and Lena blocked it with her hip. “Why?” she demanded suspiciously.

“Because I’m tryna help you,” he replied, exasperated. 

“Help me?” Surprised, Lena moved and let him ease the door open a few more inches. “No one else is here?”

“Nah, just me.”

Lena hesitated, reluctant to trust him. “Will you let me see Kara?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Oh. Uh, yeah. Sure.” He stepped away from the door and Lena threw it open, blowing past him in a rush.

“Thank you,” she called over her shoulder as she rounded the corner, sliding on the hardwood floor in her pantyhose. She barged into Kara’s room and sank down beside her on the bed, hands fluttering over her body. Her pulse was strong and steady, and Lena leaned forward to rest their foreheads together in abject gratitude. She removed Kara’s broken glasses and folded them carefully, placing them on the nightstand before kissing her softly on the mouth. 

“I’m really sorry about your girlfriend, ma’am,” Rocco said from the doorway. Lena startled and looked up, having forgotten all about him. He was watching her sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head like an overgrown toddler. 

“Thank you,” Lena said quietly, remembering what had happened in the living room. “I thought he- I thought she was-” 

“Yeah, it did look that way,” Rocco agreed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “The plan was to use the sedative on you, but she, uh, complicated things.”

Lena rubbed the pad of her thumb over Kara’s swollen eyelid. “She’s a fighter.”

“That’s for sure. It’s a good thing Tony doesn’t want kids, because I’m not sure he’d be able to have them anymore.” He paused, then turned serious. “I want to help you.” 

Astonished, Lena looked up. “Why?” 

He ignored the question. “The boss gave me fifteen minutes to get downstairs, and we only got about ten of that left. What’s the plan?”

“I don’t have one,” Lena answered honestly.

He frowned, cavernous wrinkles forming on his shiny pate. “You always got a plan.”

“Why are you helping me?” Lena repeated.

Realizing she wasn’t going to let him off the hook, he sighed and answered reluctantly. “I guess I care about you, Ms. Lena. I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore. And your dad asked me to look out for you before he died.”

“What? He did?” she asked, nonplussed.

“Yeah, about a week before he got in that car wreck he started getting real paranoid. He wanted me to keep an eye on your brother, make sure he wasn’t up to anything fishy. He said, ‘keep an eye on Lena, Roc. If anything ever happens to me, make sure you look out for my daughter.’”

A warm feeling settled in Lena’s chest. Beside her, Kara stirred in her sleep and Lena turned to cup her cheek soothingly. “Rocco, if Lex finds out you helped me…”

“He won’t. And if he does, I updated my will and sent Stacey and the kids to go live with her mom. Just in case.” 

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat. “Thank you.”

“You’re a good person, Ms. Lena. You don’t deserve any of this bullshit,” he said sincerely. Then he made a show of looking at his watch. “Now we’re down to eight minutes. You got a plan yet?”

Swiping at her eyes, she nodded. “I think so.”

She did have a plan. She just hated it. 

//

Lena shifted from one foot to the other, trying to take the pressure off her toes and wondering why she’d ever willingly subjected herself to heels. If she ever made it out of her present situation, she’d go back to wearing scrubs and flats for the rest of her life. Beside her, Rocco was examining the crescent-shaped wound in his palm, poking it with the tip of his finger. Lena shot him an apologetic look. 

“I’m sorry I bit you.”

He looked down at her and shrugged, unperturbed. “I deserved it.” 

Lena nodded in agreement. “Yes, that’s true.”

The elevator dinged when they reached the forty-eighth floor and the doors slid open. Rocco gestured her out. “Fast, Ms. Lena. We’re supposed to be in the car already.”

Lena rolled her eyes and breezed past him. “Tell Lex I couldn’t decide what outfit he’d like best.”

She walked down the long hallway until she found the correct door and knocked briskly. On the floor there was a tray containing the remnants of room service. Rocco bent over and plucked an uneaten breakfast sausage off one of the plates and chewed noisily while they waited. Finally, the door opened a crack and a quizzical face materialized out of the dark room, peering over the top of the chain. 

“Hello, Justin,” Lena said.

He squinted at her in confusion. “Dr. Luthor?” 

She nodded and smiled. “Yes, hi, I’m sorry to barge in on you like this, but I was wondering if-”

“Shit, hang on just a second,” he interrupted her, slamming the door shut.

Rocco groaned and shoved his watch in her face. She batted his hand away and shushed him. A muffled commotion inside the room lasted a few seconds before Justin finally reappeared. He’d opened the blinds and dressed himself in a pair of wrinkled jeans and a t-shirt that Lena recognized as being the outfit he’d worn to the hospital. He winced when Lena glanced over his shoulder to look into the room, stepping to the side to block her view.

“Hey, Dr. Luthor, sorry, I, uh, I didn’t expect you. Do you need me to leave?” He jerked a thumb at the mess behind him. “Don’t worry, I was planning on cleaning everything up this morning, I just-”

Lena raised a hand to cut him off and smiled. “Please don’t worry about the mess. You’re my guest here, and you’re welcome to stay as long as you like. I just came to ask you for a favor.”

“Quickly,” Rocco muttered out of the corner of his mouth. 

“A favor?” Justin asked, looking surprised and running his fingers through his curly brown hair. “Yeah, of course. Anything.” He looked down at her hands expectantly, like maybe she had a jar that she needed him to open. 

Lena started to explain but stopped when Rocco’s phone rang. He shot her a pointed look and answered it, stepping away from the door. 

“Hey boss, sorry, we just- uh huh. Yeah, she was tryna to pick out an outfit, you know women, she- uh huh.”

“Who’s that?” Justin asked Lena curiously. “Your boyfriend?”

Lena snorted. “No, just an associate.”

“Yes sir, we’re getting on the elevator right now, should be down to the lobby in the next thirty seconds. No, no, tell Tony to stay in the car, I got it handled. See you shortly.” Rocco hung up and squeezed Lena by the elbow. “We gotta go.” 

Lena fumbled in her purse, resisting his pressure, and pulled out the penthouse keycard. She thrust it into Justin’s hands. “I need you to use this key to take the elevator up to the penthouse. In one of the bedrooms there’s a woman who’s…um…”

“Sleeping off a hangover,” Rocco chimed in helpfully. 

Lena bobbed her head. “Yes, who is sleeping off a hangover. There’s somewhere I have to be, so I can’t stay to take care of her. Can you please just make sure that she wakes up safely? And when she does, will you please give her this?” She wavered in her resolve, but only for a moment before pressing a piece of folded paper on top of the keycard in his outstretched palm. 

Justin stared down at his hand and Lena held her breath. Finally, he closed his fingers and tucked the note and the keycard into his pocket. “No problem. Anything else?” 

Lena shook her head, relieved. “No, that’s it. Kara, I mean, the woman will probably be confused when she wakes up. It was…” Lena bit her lip. “A long night.”

“I’ll take care of it, Dr. Luthor,” Justin assured her. 

“Thank you,” Lena said. On impulse, she reached out and clasped his wrist lightly. Chances were slim that she’d ever see him again. “And I mean it. You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like. You can move into the penthouse as far as I’m concerned. Just take care of yourself.” She flipped his hand over and examined the wound she'd closed. It was healing nicely. "Go by the hospital in a few days and get these stitches out." 

“Will do, doc. Thanks. You’re the best,” he said, giving her a shy smile. 

Rocco tugged at her elbow. “Gotta go, Ms. Lena,” he said adamantly. 

Lena threw Justin one last look over her shoulder. “Please make sure she gets that letter,” she called down the hallway as she tripped after Rocco. She started to choke up. “Tell her I’m-”

She didn’t get to finish as Rocco shoved her bodily into the elevator, smashing the “close door” button as he stepped in behind her. They rode down in tense silence, broken only by the tap of his fingernails on the handrail. When they arrived at the ground floor, they hurried across the lobby and outside to the waiting car. 

“What the hell took so long?” Lex snapped as Lena climbed into the limousine after Rocco, who plopped down beside his brother and unbuttoned his suit jacket. The affable expression he’d been wearing mere seconds ago was gone. His face twisted in disgust as he regarded Lena, who sat in the bench seat opposite him. 

“Dumb bitch couldn’t find her shoes,” he growled. Lena pressed her lips together at his terrible acting skills and braced herself for Lex to see through it and call their bluff. Lex, however, raised an eyebrow in delight at his sudden animosity. 

“Now, Rocco,” he scolded in good humor, “while I don’t disagree with your colorful epithet, she is still my sister.” 

Rocco grumbled, reaching around Tony to retrieve a bottle of scotch and a glass from the side bar. “Sorry, boss. She just wouldn’t stop crying. You know I hate that.”

Lex nodded, fixing his soulless black eyes on her face, and Lena sniffled for the sake of authenticity. “Oh, yes,” he said, “I certainly do.” He clapped his hands together suddenly and Lena flinched out of instinct. “But we should be celebrating!” he declared cheerfully, looking around the car as they pulled out of the Winchester. “Pour one for all of us, Rocco.”

Rocco obliged and handed the glasses around, catching Lena’s eye when Lex and Tony were distracted with their drinks. “Sorry,” he mouthed. Lena twitched her head at him in reassurance. 

Lex raised his glass. “To Lena,” he said, “the return of the prodigal sister.”

“To Lena,” the brothers parroted back obediently.

“To Kara,” Lena breathed softly into the rim of her glass as she took a sip, watching the Winchester recede from view behind them. 

//

Dear Kara,

(Lena’s note read.)

If you’re reading this, chances are that I’m already halfway across the country. I’ve made the difficult decision to return to National City. While I enjoyed our time together, I feel that my efforts are better spent in the lab, developing a treatment. 

I’ve also done a lot of thinking, and I’ve concluded that it isn’t wise for us to continue our relationship at this time. I think you’d agree that we are at very different places in our lives right now, and it will be better for both of us in the long run to remain single. I hope I’m not overstepping my bounds in suggesting that you seriously consider getting help for the issues that were discussed between us last night. 

In the interest of making a clean break, I’ve deactivated my cell phone. I respectfully ask that you don’t try reaching me. I encourage you to stay in my building as long as you wish, to facilitate your recovery.

You have my sincere gratitude for everything we shared. 

Best regards,

Lena Luthor

//

It wasn’t until the plane was 36,000 feet in the air and halfway back to National City that the full weight of the decision she’d made came down on her like half a ton of wet concrete. If Kara believed what she’d written in the note, Lena would never see her again. It was a betrayal of the highest magnitude, a complete obliteration of trust. 

And it was absolutely necessary to keep her safe. 

Despite the indisputable truth of that fact and the half-empty bottle of scotch beside her, Lena’s quivering hand rattled the glass of scotch on the fold-out table in her lap and she clenched her jaw hard enough to make the lump on the side of her face throb. The pain of her decision oozed down the back of her throat in a molten mass that burned all the way down to the pit of her stomach. She took another sip of scotch, unopposed to exacerbating the physical sensation for the sake of muting the emotional one. 

She startled when the door to her cabin opened and Rocco insinuated himself into the room. “Hey, Ms. Lena,” he said kindly, lowering himself into the seat beside her. His gaze flicked from her bloodshot eyes to the glass clutched in her hand. “Want some company?”

She cleared her throat and nodded. “Okay.”

He patted her knee and clasped his hands lightly in his lap. Together, they looked out the window. The sky was light blue, with a layer of fluffy pink clouds far below. 

“Something happened that the boss ain’t happy about,” Rocco told her quietly, as if Lex had his ear pressed to the door. 

“Do you know what it was?” asked Lena.

“No. But he’s pacing around and acting all crazy. I’m a little worried about what it means for you.”

Lena shrugged dismissively. “I’m screwed no matter what.” She took a long drag out of her glass. 

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Rocco disputed, scowling.

Lena smiled bitterly. “Truthfully, as long as Kara is safe, I don’t care what happens to me.” 

“Well, I do.” He leaned back in his seat, regarding her with eyes much more intelligent than he was given credit for. “You really love her, huh?” 

“Yes,” Lena answered without hesitating, the vulnerability of the confession twisting her insides up into knots. She glanced up at him from beneath her eyelashes, but they hit a patch of turbulence before he could respond. Her glass leapt up, sloshing alcohol over the side and into her lap. 

Rocco stood and retrieved napkins from a cart, handing her one and using the other to mop up the spill on the table. Lena blotted at the stain on her skirt while he topped off her glass and poured himself one as well. 

“I seen love like that before,” he mused, “once.” 

Lena desisted in her half-hearted scrubbing and crumpled the napkin up in her fist, squeezing it. “You and Stacey?” she asked, forcing a small smile. 

His eyes crinkled and he elbowed her good-naturedly. “Nah, besides us. I mean your mom and dad.” 

“Lillian?” Lena blurted in disbelief. She couldn’t imagine anything more far fetched than the notion of Lillian in love with anyone but herself. 

Rocco tossed his eyes at the ceiling. “Jesus, no. I mean your real mom. Emily.”

Lena’s smile disappeared. “You knew her?”

“Of course I knew her. She and the old boss were inseparable. They met on the first business trip I ever went on with him, in Dublin. We were in some dive bar he liked because of the food, and she was waitressing. Took one look at each other, and bam-” he punched his hand into his fist “-that was that. They couldn’t stay away from each other. Like magnets.”

Winn’s voice spoke up in Lena’s head: “If you resonate at the same frequency as someone else, you end up together no matter what universe you’re in. You can’t help it.” She shoved the memory away aggressively. It was too painful to bear. 

“He didn’t talk about her very much,” she said quietly, swiping a finger through the condensation on the side of her glass. She thought about the necklace he’d given her, tucked away deep down in a drawer in her old bedroom. She hadn’t so much as looked at it since he died. 

“He couldn’t. He was a different man after she passed. I think the only thing that ever made him feel any better about it was you.”

“I miss him,” Lena said quietly, her eyes welling over. Tears spilled down her cheeks, scalding. “And Kara.”

Rocco nodded. “I know. Your dad is gone, but I wouldn’t count her out.”

“I have to,” Lena protested, agonized. “If she comes after me…”

She couldn’t finish. If Kara came after her, they both knew what would happen. 

He stuck his arm out and pulled her into a half-hug, shushing her softly. The absurdity of the situation wasn’t lost on her, but she leaned against him regardless, her face leaking freely onto the sleeve of his jacket. He patted her back until she’d cried herself out and drifted off to sleep. She dreamt of bright blue eyes and the silken sweep of gold hair across her skin until the wheels touched down on the airport tarmac.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to make an excuse for the lateness of this update. By now, you all know that it's because of who I am as a person.
> 
> We are nearing the end, so I want to take the time to thank everyone who has given me encouragement for this story so far. You are the real MVPs. 
> 
> Enjoy and don't judge me for how long I take on the next update. :-)

Pausing on the stoop, Lena brushed off the front of her coat and replaced a stray bobby pin in preparation for her mother’s impending scrutiny. Not that such minor adjustments mattered. One side of her face was black and blue and probably twice the size of the other, but there was nothing she could do about that. Still fidgeting, she took a deep breath and banged twice with the ornate knocker on the front door of the Luthor mansion. 

After disembarking from the jet, Lex had packed her off into a separate car, instructing the driver to take her straight to the residence, no stops. She tried to argue, but he barely looked at her, distracted by whatever it was that was that had him so agitated. A half hour later she’d been unceremoniously dumped, by herself, on the front drive-up. She’d briefly considered attempting an escape, but the perimeter of the grounds was surrounded by twelve-foot-high concrete fencing topped with barbed wire, so she’d regretfully conceded to heading in the only direction available to her.

Shifting from foot to foot, Lena looked around warily while she waited for admittance. As a child she’d been an unwilling prisoner of the place (except on the rare occasion Lionel was home) and as an adult she avoided it at all costs, only visiting when absolutely necessary. It seemed darker somehow, more sinister than she remembered it. Lionel used to say that buildings took on the personalities of their inhabitants, and Lena could have sworn the house was irritated by her intrusion. It gave her a feeling that she’d heard Kara refer to once as “the heebies.”

“Believe me,” she muttered, glancing up at a snarling stone lion statue with what was clearly a security camera hidden in one of the eyeballs, “I don’t want to be here, either.”

Minutes elapsed and still no one came to the door. Impatience born of pure indignance getting the hold of her better judgement, Lena snatched the knocker and banged repeatedly until the door opened a crack and a face peered around the corner cautiously. 

“Natalia?” Lena asked, cocking her head. 

The door swung open promptly, revealing a stout woman with gray hair wearing an old-fashioned maid’s outfit.

“Ms. Lena!” the elderly housekeeper exclaimed in shock, rocking onto her tip toes to peer over her shoulder, as if she expected her to be accompanied by someone else. “Come in, come in.” She grabbed Lena by the wrist and yanked her inside, slamming the door shut after her and muttering to herself in Russian as she re-bolted a series of locks that would have put a bank vault to shame.

“Is everything alright?” Lena asked in alarm as Natalia heaved wrought-iron bench across the marble floor and wedged it against the door. 

“Yes, yes, is fine,” Natalia replied breathlessly, using Lena’s proffered hand to pull herself upright. She put a hand to her lower back and grimaced. 

“Is mother anticipating a zombie apocalypse or is barricading the door just standard operating procedure these days?” 

“Oh, Mrs. Luthor, you know she is all the time worry,” Natalia explained, waving her off dismissively. 

Lena cocked an eyebrow. “Of what? An alien invasion?”

Natalia sighed again, another long-suffering servant of the Luthor family. “Please, Ms. Lena. Come, give me your coat.”

Lena dropped the subject regretfully and shrugged out of her overcoat, goosebumps immediately erupting on her forearms. Lillian kept the house in as close an approximation to a meat locker as possible. Natalia took it from her and clucked her tongue, skimming her up and down. 

“You are too skinny,” she admonished as she hung her coat on the stand and pulled a small brush out of her pocket. She tugged a sleeve taut and began swiping lint off with a practiced hand. “I will make you something to eat.”

“Oh, no thank you, I ate on the plane,” Lena replied, pursing her lips when Natalia shot her a skeptical look. It was a true statement if half a bottle of single-malt scotch counted as a meal. 

“This is filthy,” Natalia observed mildly, flipping up the collar. “I will have dry-cleaned.” With deft fingers, she pulled a long strand of golden-blonde hair free of a button and deposited it in a wastepaper basket with clawed feet. Lena swallowed hard and turned away, searching for a distraction. 

She wandered into the foyer and stopped at the bottom of the grand staircase, giving the polished finial at the end of the bannister a wiggle to see if it was still loose from the time Lex had dared her to slide down it when they were children. He was forever convincing her to do things that he wouldn’t try himself, and she obliged him against her better judgement. Her run down the bannister was a particularly ill-fated instance of this tendency, as she’d gone much faster than expected with no way to arrest her descent and ended up with a broken tailbone. It still bothered her when she sat in her office chair for too long. 

Lost in thought, Lena startled when she felt a hand on the small of her back and found Natalia looking up at her earnestly. “Are you alright, Ms. Lena?” she asked. She reached out and touched the bruise on the side of Lena’s face gingerly, tutting. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” Lena lied, forcing herself to sound casual. “Just a little out of sorts, I suppose.”

Appearing unconvinced but too well-mannered to press the issue, Natalia changed the subject. “You are coming home from business in Metropolis?”

Unbidden, an image of Kara’s face flashed through Lena’s mind. She paused before answering, trying to cement it into long-term storage. “Yes, I was in Metropolis, but not on business. I was volunteering at a hospital there.” It felt almost trite, to describe it like that, but how could she possibly convey all the terror and the heartbreak, all the pride and the courage, all of the love and camaraderie that she’d experienced in the last few days? It was impossible. 

Nevertheless, Natalia’s eyebrows shot up. “Ah. I see,” she said, looking impressed. Lena managed a smile and Natalia patted her uninjured cheek fondly. “Always you are so brave. Even when you are small. Mr. Lex, he is always crying. But you? No.”

Warmth blossomed in Lena’s chest and she had to actively suppress the urge to hug the small woman. “You really think so?” 

“Of course I think so, lapochka,” Natalia said, tapping her on the end of her nose. “Now, come. I make you pirozhki. You are much too skinny.”

Lena smirked. “I’m sure mother will dispute that point.”

“Yes, yes, of course, I am saying sky is blue, she is saying is green. Now, come,” she said, tugging Lena by the wrist in the direction of the kitchen, but Lena didn’t budge. 

“I’m sorry, Natalia, but I have to go see her,” Lena said firmly. Like a spider, Lillian had surely sensed her twitching in the periphery of her web by now. Avoiding her any longer was an exercise in futility. 

Natalia let go and grumbled, disappointed. “She has headache,” she advised in a warning tone. 

“Yes, I’m sure she does. What else is new?” Lena pointed down the hallway and started to head in that direction. “Parlor?”

Natalia sighed and nodded, calling out warnings to the back of her head as they walked. “Mrs. Luthor is not liking to hear about this virus. The doctor, he say she is under too many stress.”

Lena rolled her eyes so hard she feared they’d get stuck in her skull and she’d spend the rest of her life staring at her own frontal lobes. “Yes, I’m sure this has been a real personal tragedy for her.” 

Lillian rarely ventured outside the grounds, and when she did it was in an armored car with four-inch-thick bulletproof glass. At the beginning of the pandemic she’d hired one of the best infectious disease specialists in the country to serve as her personal physician and had an entire hospital room complete with a ventilator installed on the third floor. “Just in case.” It was still wrapped in plastic with the tags on it. 

Lena pushed open a set of French doors and found Lillian perched primly in her usual spot at the end of the chaise lounge with a book in one hand and a glass of pinot noir in the other. She had an icepack tied to the top of her head with a dish towel. When she didn’t look up or give any indication that she was aware she had company, Lena cleared her throat pointedly.

“Yes, I see you,” Lillian drawled, holding up a single finger imperiously. 

Lena folded her hands in front of her and waited, battling the urge to unlatch a window and fling herself out of it into the hedge below. Lillian continued to read, hand still aloft, until she found a suitable stopping point and marked her page. She looked up over the top of her glasses, her lip curling preemptively. 

“My God,” she admonished, recoiling. “What happened to you? You look absolutely frightful. I’ve seen homeless on fifth avenue that looked better.”

Lena rolled her eyes for the second time in as many minutes. “Really? When was the last time you saw a homeless person in Dolce and Gabbana?”

Lillian sniffed and fixed her with an icy glare. “Are you going to stand in that doorway all afternoon or are you going to come in and sit down like a civilized member of society?”

From behind her, Natalia gave Lena a gentle push and followed her into the room. Lena planted herself on the end of the couch furthest from Lillian, but she shook her head and beckoned, pointing to the cushion closest to her. Biting back the urge to react inappropriately, Lena arranged her face and slid toward the indicated spot, where the heat from Lillian’s gaze was already scorching a hole. Lena carefully studied the fringe on the Persian carpet while in the far corner of the room Natalia began surreptitiously dusting a set of ivory elephant figurines. 

“Well. I suppose you’re feeling proud of yourself. The hell that you’ve put your brother and I through, I can’t even begin to-” Lillian cut herself off suddenly and Lena looked up to find her staring at her as if she’d grown two heads. Her beady eyes were fixated on Lena’s jaw. “What on earth is that?” 

Lena’s hand flew to the lump on her cheek, surprised. Lillian was usually careful not to call attention to physical injuries, knowing that her son was likely the cause. “It’s-”

“Not that,” Lillian interrupted, swatting her hand away from her face and stabbing a pointy finger into the soft flesh of Lena’s neck, just below her ear. “This.”

“What?” Lena muttered in confusion, touching the spot where Lillian’s fingernail had left a crescent-shaped indentation. “I don’t know-” She trailed off, baffled, and then she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror over the sideboard and realized what Lillian was referring to. The confusion dissolved from her face and her lips curled slowly with sudden glee. 

She couldn’t help herself. “It’s a hickey, mother.”

From across the room, there was a loud clunk as Natalia dropped the elephant she’d been polishing and Lillian lurched backward in her seat with a gasp, clutching at the neckline of her pink velour jumpsuit in lieu of pearls.

“What?” she demanded shrilly. “What did you just say?”

Still utterly at the mercy of her own delighted amusement, Lena leaned forward into Lillian’s space, craning her neck up and pointing. “I said it’s a hickey. See? A love bite. My girlfriend gave it to me.” A knife twisted in her gut at her own careless use of a title that no longer applied to Kara, but she ignored it. “I have more, would you like to see?”

“Stop speaking this instant,” Lillian said, all the color draining from her face. “How dare you.”

Lena shrugged and sat back in her seat, folding her arms across her lap petulantly. “You asked.” 

“What has gotten into you?”

Lena opened her mouth to respond with something truly impertinent but thought better of it. Lillian was as white as a sheet and she was loathe to send Natalia off in search of smelling salts when she was so clearly enjoying eavesdropping on the conversation.

“I’m sorry, mother, I suppose I’m just tired.” 

“You are not tired,” Lillian snapped, sitting up sharply. The icepack on top of her head slid forward onto the bridge of her nose and she shoved it back irritably. “You are insolent. And disrespectful. You are a wretched, ungrateful-”

“Yes mother, I know. Can we please just skip the pleasantries and get to the point? Why am I here? Where’s Lex?”

The corner of Lillian’s left eyelid was visibly twitching and when she began speaking again, her voice was low and silken with barely suppressed rage. “Certainly, Lena. We can get to the point. The point is that Lex allowed your little adventure to Metropolis against my wishes and in doing so has sparked a chain of events that might prove the undoing of this family, which I am sure is exactly what you wanted.” 

Lena opened her mouth to protest but Lillian stuck a finger in her face, silencing her. 

“Isn’t it? You disloyal little monster. I think you want your brother’s company to fail. I think you want to see this family go down in flames. You’ve been an ungrateful brat since you were a child, and now look at you, destroying your own father’s legacy.” 

Lena leapt to her feet, balling her hands into fists. “I would never-”

“You left your brother when he needed you the most,” Lillian hissed, gaining steam. “You disobeyed orders. You stole from the company. And you used your serum to save the life of an enemy!”

“An enemy?” Lena snorted, nonplussed. Who could she possibly be talking about? Kara?

Lillian slowly stood until they were eye to eye. “Yes, Lena. Lex told me all about it. Your precious ‘girlfriend’ is the sister of the agent who is actively working to bring us down. If we don’t move quickly, we’ll all be in prison by the end of the year. Although I’m sure you already know that much, you traitorous bitch.” She paused, relishing the effect her words were having on Lena in the exact same way that Lex did. “What could we expect, really, from the child of a dead whore?”

Lena slapped her. It was so reflexive she barely registered what she’d done until she felt Natalia grabbing her by the wrist and forcing her backward, speaking rapidly in a mix of English and Russian. Lillian grasped the side of her face, her eyes enormous in disbelief. 

“Come, Ms. Lena, please,” Natalia implored, trying to force her into her seat.

“I have never been disloyal to this family,” Lena growled, resisting Natalia’s pressure. Angry tears scored tracks down her cheeks. “I’ve sacrificed everything for you and Lex, and all I ever wanted in return was for you to love me. To see me.”

“Oh, I’ll see you, alright,” Lillian grated, her voice dripping disgust. The side of her face was a livid red. “I’ll see you strapped to a chair in the lab and drained of every useful ounce of your life force.” She leaned down and slapped the button on an intercom. A voice crackled through.

“Ma’am?”

“Daniel? I require you.” Lillian released the button and sat back down, readjusting her icepack and picking her book back up. Lena’s knees wobbled and Natalia steadied her gently. “Lex tells me it’ll take days for your cells to regenerate, and he wants to keep you here, under my eye,” Lillian said, gloating as she watched Lena’s face fall. “I’ll allow you to stay in your old bedroom while you wait. I’m not an ungracious host.”

“You can’t hold me here against my will,” Lena protested as the doors behind her banged open and a guard stepped in.

Lillian pouted her lips in feigned sympathy. “Oh, I can and I will, darling,” she said. She looked past Lena and snapped her fingers. Lena felt a hand close on her shoulder. 

“Ms. Luthor?” a voice said from behind her. “Come with me, please.” 

//

“I don’t think we’ve met. I don’t recognize you,” Lena said to the guard as he frog-marched her down the hallway toward her childhood bedroom. “But you look like a Manchetti.”

He hesitated, clearly unsure if he should be talking to her. “Uh, yes ma’am,” he replied uncertainly. “I’m a cousin.”

Lena nodded, the gears in her head turning at top speed. “I thought so,” she said as they stopped in front of the door. “You have the eyebrows.” She tapped her own forehead and then turned the door handle absentmindedly, frowning when it didn’t open. No less than five freshly installed deadbolts disbarred her from entry. Lena poked at the small pile of sawdust on the floor with the toe of her shoe. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, I’m sorry, I just need to-” Daniel pointed at the door and stepped around her awkwardly, pulling a keyring out of his pocket. 

Lena sighed and leaned against the wall, watching him. “Seems like overkill, don’t you think?” she asked, gesturing. “You’d think she was housing David Copperfield.”

A smile ghosted across his face, but he quashed it quickly, determined to remain stern. “Abundance of caution, I guess.”

“Indeed,” Lena replied, watching his progress. “I suppose you’ll be serving as my jailor?” she asked, softening her tone. 

He flinched and missed the next lock, stabbing the key into the wall. Lena felt almost bad for him. He was awfully young. “Oh, um, I-”

“I promise I won’t be any trouble,” Lena said, teasing. She took a step toward him and he turned automatically to look at her. She winked and he promptly dropped his keys. 

“Oops! Sorry, I- just a second-” 

He dove down to retrieve them and when he came back up, Lena had pulled the neckline of her shirt down as far as she could without exposing herself. His eyes homed onto her chest helplessly, as if magnetized, and his cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink. “So,” Lena said loudly, jolting him out of his reverie. “You must know Rocco.”

“Oh, yeah! Definitely. I definitely know Rocco. He’s my dad’s cousin.”

Lena closed her eyes briefly, relieved, and crossed the fingers of her right hand behind her back. “Do you see him often?” she asked, running her index finger up and down the molding. Struggling to focus, Daniel unbolted the last lock and pushed open the door, stuffing the keys back into his pocket.

“Um. Yeah, I usually see him at guard change around midnight.” 

Lena took another step forward. His eyes drifted back down and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Will you tell him I want to speak with him?” Lena asked, dropping her voice down an octave. “When you see him?”

“Uh- I don’t-”

Lena reached up and straightened the collar of his shirt, batting her eyelashes guilelessly. “I would really appreciate it.”

Mouth agape, he stared at her until he realized a response was required of him. “Oh yeah, sure. I can do that.”

“Thank you so much,” Lena purred. “That’s really so kind of you.”

“Of course! Is there anything else I can do?” 

Lena smiled triumphantly and edged past him into the room. “Actually, a glass of scotch would be lovely.”

//

The instant she was inside, she was transported backward in time. 

“This will be your room, Lena,” Lionel said as he opened the door with a flourish, beaming down at her expectantly. 

Lena cringed away, hugging her teddy bear to her chest and pursing her lips into a thin line. She glanced behind her to check if Lex had followed them, but he seemed to have disappeared into his own room. Lena was glad. Her new brother made her nervous.

“Go on,” Lionel urged her gently, “you can look around.”

Lena crept into the room cautiously, taking small steps because her shiny new shoes pinched her feet. Lionel strolled in after her, with his hands in the pockets of his slacks. She crossed the room to the big four-post bed in the center and ran the palm of her hand over the bedspread. It was patterned with daisies, her favorite flower, and had a canopy of pink tulle. 

Turning in a slow circle, she took in the rest of the space. Dresser, desk, vanity table, bookshelves, and against one wall, gloriously, a dollhouse. Her hesitancy vanishing, she set her stuffed animal down on the bed and made a beeline for it, her green eyes wide with delight. 

“Ah yes,” Lionel said, crossing over to her. “I thought you might like that.” He bent down and flipped a hidden switch under the gable roof and the interior of the house lit up, as if by magic. Tiny wall sconces and miniature chandeliers illuminated a shrunken version of the Luthor mansion itself. 

“Oh!” she exclaimed breathlessly, spotting a tiny bed with a pink canopy and, amazingly, a miniscule dollhouse. “That’s my room!” She nipped her lower lip and looked up at Lionel shyly, realizing she’d spoken out loud for the first time since she’d arrived, but he just smiled down at her with amiable affection. The way his mustache twitched reminded her of a friendly walrus, and she smiled back at him.

“Yes, indeed,” he replied, kneeling down beside her so they were on eye level. “I had it custom made for you in France. It’s an exact replica of this house.”

Lena listened seriously, taking in this new piece of information. She had no idea dollhouses were made in France. She wondered if the house she was standing in had also been made there, but ultimately decided such a thing was logistically impossible. 

“Can I play with it?” she asked, reaching out to brush the dining room table with the tips of her fingers. It was fully set, complete with plates and silverware. 

Lionel held up a single finger. “You say, ‘may I play with it,’” he corrected her gently. 

“Oh. Yes, sir. May I play with it?” Lena amended, putting careful emphasis on the right word. 

“Yes, you may.”

“Thank you, Mr. Luthor,” she replied politely. The woman at the orphanage had impressed upon her the importance of having good manners with her new family. 

“Remember, Lena, they’re fancy people,” the woman had said. 

Lionel laughed and took both of her small hands in his big ones. “You don’t have to call me that, Lena. I’m your father. You may call me papa if you like.”

“Papa,” she mouthed quietly, experimenting. She did like it. “Thank you, papa.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

//

Tap, tap. 

Lena opened one eye blearily. It was dark in the room. 

Tap, tap, tap.

“Ms. Lena,” Rocco yell-whispered, “it’s Rocco.”

She rubbed her face with the heel of her hand and swung out of bed. She didn’t remember drowsing off, but when she looked at the clock on the nightstand, it was past midnight. Yawning, she flipped on a lamp and shuffled over to the door. 

“Ms. Lena? Are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here,” she spoke into the crack.

“Can you let me in?”

Lena rubbed her temples with her thumb and forefinger. “Rocco, the door is locked from your side.”

“Oh. Right.”

Keys jangled and locks clicked and finally the door swung open and Rocco squeezed himself into the room. He shut the door behind him and smiled apologetically.

“Evening, ma’am. Daniel let me up. Said ya needed something.”

Lena put her finger to her lips and gestured for him to sit on the bed. For all she knew, Lillian had the entire room bugged. He lowered himself onto the edge of the bed and Lena settled herself across from him in a child-sized desk chair. 

“I need to get out of here,” she said simply.

“Huh,” he said, nodding slowly. He rubbed the stubble on his chin thoughtfully, looking around. “How ya gonna do that?”

“Well,” Lena said, “I thought you might help me.”

“I see. Listen, Ms. Lena, you know I want to help you. I really do. I promised your pop that I’d look out for you, but this place is locked down like Fort Knox. Even if you got out of this room and past the house, it’s a mile to the nearest gate and all the exits are heavily guarded. And once you get past that, assuming the dogs don’t get you first, there’s nothing for miles. You’d need a car.” 

Lena nodded along as he spoke, tapping her foot impatiently. “Yes, I’ve considered all that. It’ll be difficult, but hardly impossible.” She turned and opened the desk drawer, pulling out a piece of paper and holding it out to him. “First I need you to get this note to Jack.”

Rocco guffawed. Horrified, Lena shushed him and looked at the door, anticipating Lillian to come barreling in at any moment. “Sorry,” he said, “Jack flew the coop after the boss found out he used lab equipment to help you. No one has heard from him since. We think he crossed the border into Mexico. Good thing, too, boss was ready to kill him.”

Lena’s heart sank. “Alright. What about Jess?”

“Your assistant? Boss fired her. You know, on your behalf.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “But could you find her?” If anyone knew where Jack was, it would be Jess. 

He considered. “Yeah, I guess I could,” he said grudgingly, taking the note from her and tucking it into his pocket. 

“Thank you. Now. Do you think you can turn Daniel?”

Rocco started to laugh again but slapped a hand over his own mouth. “Uh, yeah I think that might be doable. He’s pretty smitten with you.”

Lena smiled at him wickedly. “Perfect. Tell him to stand by for instructions and let me know when Jess gets the note. We only have a couple of days.”

“Days? Uh, honestly Ms. Lena, we might not even have that. Tony says the boss has him setting up the lab already. He’s in a pretty big hurry to get this done.”

Lena’s stomach lurched sickeningly but she bit down hard on her anxiety. “Then I guess we’ll have to move fast.

//

Since there was nothing else she could do to pass the time, Lena alternated pacing and staring out of her bedroom window at the driveway below in a state of near-constant paranoia. The minute Lex’s long black stretch limo pulled up, it was all over. 

Unable to go back to sleep after Rocco left, she’d spent several hours the night before doing rough calculations by hand on pink stationary with an inscription on the top that read, “From the Desk of Ms. Lena! <3” She quickly realized that if Rocco’s prediction was accurate and Lex planned on performing the extraction before her bone marrow had a chance to fully regenerate, he would only get enough serum to create several thousand vaccines. And the process would likely kill her. 

So she paced. And she waited. And she thought about Kara, even though she tried hard not to. 

Night fell and a firm knock on the door disrupted her train of thought. Lena paused her pacing and looked up, clenching her jaw.

“Yes? Who is it?” she asked nervously, as if Lex would have the courtesy to knock.

“Ms. Lena? I have dinner,” came Natalia’s voice from the hallway. There was the familiar jangling of keys and unlocking of locks and the door opened. A guard Lena didn’t recognize stood to the side as Natalia bustled in with a silver service tray, humming to herself. “Here we are,” she said, setting it on the bedside table. She lifted the cover to reveal pot roast, potatoes, and a pile of vegetables.

“That looks lovely, Natalia, thank you,” Lena said, even though she knew she wouldn’t eat a bite of it. Her stomach was twisted into a tight knot. 

Natalia caught her eye and laid a hand over a folded linen napkin on the tray. She tapped it twice with one finger in a way that seemed intentional. “Is very fattening,” she said. “I make with lard because-”

“I’m much too skinny,” Lena finished with a smile.

“Exactly,” Natalia said, giving the napkin a final tap and glancing back at her over her shoulder before leaving the room. The bolts slid back into place and Lena was alone again. The instant the footsteps receded down the hallway, Lena she rushed over to the tray and shook out the napkin. A tightly folded piece of paper fell out and she snatched it up, smoothing it out with shaking hands. 

Lena,

No time to plan. It has to be tonight. Lex planning on performing the procedure tomorrow morning. Everyone is set- just follow directions. Midnight. See you soon. 

Jack

//

Heart racing, Lena stared out her window, hardly daring to blink. Midnight came and went, and nothing happened. With every passing minute, her hope dwindled. Something must have gone wrong. Jack got caught. Daniel snitched. Rocco fled the country. Any number of catastrophic possibilities could have occurred, and she’d be left to her fate, drained of her blood until she was nothing more than a shriveled husk while Lillian watched and cackled. 

She chanced a look at the clock on the bedside table. It was half past. She looked back out the window and blinked.

Lex’s limousine was speeding down the driveway. 

Lena leapt to her feet and threw herself away from the window, her pulse pounding in her ears. Frantic for something to do with her hands, she ripped off a piece of the pink stationary and scrawled across it rapidly with the first thing to come to mind. 

Kara,

If this ever reaches you, I want you to know that I love you. Our time together in Metropolis was the best of my life. 

I love you, I love you, I love you. 

I’m sorry. 

Lena

Fighting tears, she folded the sheet and set it on the service tray where she thought Natalia might find it. She didn’t even register the sound of the locks turning until the door slammed open. Whirling, she came face to face with Daniel, who was leaning against the doorjam and trying to catch his breath. Lena put her fists up and tensed herself for a struggle. If there was anything Kara had taught her, it was that she wasn’t going to go down without a fight. 

“Ms. Lena,” he said, waving at her frantically, “come on, let’s go, we have to move fast!”

“I have mace and I know how to use it!” Lena blurted, not registering what he’d said. “Wait, what?”

“Rocco sent me to get you out of here! He left a gate open for us, but we have to move! Let’s go, let’s go!” He crossed the room toward her and grabbed her by the arm.

“But- Lex-”

“Yeah, he’s here, and he knows something’s up. Come on!”

Daniel pulled her down the hallway at a dead run toward the back staircase. From the other end of the house, Lena could hear Lex bellowing followed by the sound of breaking glass. She and Daniel took the stairs two at a time and blew out the side door into the garden where a golf cart was waiting. He threw himself into the driver’s seat and Lena slid in beside him.

“Hold on tight, ma’am,” he said, slamming the cart into gear and taking off with a squeal of tires on pavement. They flew across the expansive lawn toward the fence line at a breakneck pace that Lena didn’t know golf carts were capable of. They were halfway there when the perimeter alarm sounded and the floodlights came on. In the distance, the dogs were barking. 

“Shit, shit, shit-” Lena cursed, gripping the upholstery of the seat with white-knuckled hands. They hit a bump and she came clean out of her seat, knocking her head against the roof. 

“Sorry, ma’am!” Daniel yelled, “almost there!” The floodlight swept across their path and Lena could barely make out the inner gate. It was closed. 

“Daniel, the gate!”

They skidded to a stop in front of it and Daniel launched himself out of his seat and knelt at the fence. “Come on!” he yelled at her, cupping his hands in front of him. Lena hesitated and looked behind her. Four fully grown German shepherds were racing across the lawn toward them. 

Lena threw herself out of the cart, planted her foot in Daniel’s palms, and allowed herself to be launched directly upward. She caught the chain link by the tips of her fingers and held fast, pulling herself up hand over hand with Daniel right behind her. The dogs reached the fence just as they got to the top, leaping and snapping, so close that Lena could practically feel the wind from their jaws. The entire fence shook ominously with the impact of their weight.

“Just keep going, ma’am!” Daniel yelled at her, hanging off the other side to kick at the dogs with a booted foot. “I’ll distract them! Jump!”

“Jump?!” Lena shrieked just as the largest dog body-slammed the fence. She barely held on, catching herself just before she was thrown over the side.

“Jump!” Daniel repeated.

Lena didn’t need to be told a second time. She threw herself bodily over the edge, landing in the gravel and twisting her ankle beneath her. She pulled herself to her feet just as Daniel landed beside her, shoving her along.

“Go!”

Lena limped toward the door that separated the property from the street, wincing with every step. She grasped the handle and sobbed with relief when it turned and the door swung open. She tumbled through to the street beyond and was immediately blinded by strobing red and blue lights. The scene was chaotic, with cop cars lining the road on both sides as far down as she could see. Officers wearing FBI insignia and carrying long rifles were milling around and yelling into radios. 

It was a raid. 

Lena froze in place, not sure what to do, when a voice cut through the cacophony.

“You! Don’t move!” 

A woman with short brown hair and a serious expression was approaching her with a pistol trained to her chest. “Hands up! You are under arrest!”

Lena raised her hands slowly and backed up until she was pressed against the wall behind her. The woman continued to move toward her, aiming with one hand and reaching for her handcuffs with the other. Then, from the street off to Lena’s right, a second voice cut through the noise. A familiar voice. 

“Lena!” 

“Keep your hands where I can see them!” the officer barked.

“Lena!” the second voice yelled again, slightly muffled. “Damn it, let go of me!”

A woman in a blue ballcap emerged from behind a squad car, wrestling her way out of some kind of scuffle. 

A look of pure horror crossed the officer’s face. “Kara?” She glanced back at Lena with dawning recognition as the woman sprinted toward them, her blonde ponytail fanning out behind her.

“Kara?” Lena choked out, hardly daring to hope. 

“Lena! Don’t shoot, Alex! Don’t shoot!” 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Alex said, holstering her weapon as Kara reached Lena and scooped her up into her arms. Crying with helpless relief, Lena buried her face in the side of Kara’s neck. 

“Lena,” Kara panted, setting her back on her feet. “Are you okay?” She ran concerned hands over Lena’s cheeks, her arms, her waist, as if checking for intactness. “Are you alright?”

Beyond them, the sirens blared and lights flashed. The empire her father had built crumbled, and although she couldn’t see or hear him, she could feel Lex’s rage in her bones, like the pressure of an incoming thunderstorm. 

But Kara was there, and none of it mattered. 

“I am now,” said Lena. 

//

Alex let them sit together in the back of her squad car on the ride back to the station. Grudgingly.

After inspecting her various abrasions and contusions, Kara wrapped her arms around Lena and tucked her head beneath her chin. Lena laced their fingers together and stared down at their joined hands in her lap, afraid to look away lest the whole thing vanished like a particularly elaborate dream. Streetlights whizzed by, alternately bathing the two of them in light and darkness. 

“You didn’t believe my letter,” Lena whispered.

For a moment, Kara hesitated. “Was I supposed to?” she asked sincerely. 

Lena pressed her ear against Kara’s chest and smiled, listening to the comforting rhythm of her heart. 

//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay healthy, stay safe.
> 
> Leave me a comment maybe.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update!
> 
> :-)
> 
> Stay healthy, stay safe.

Lena sat slumped in a folding chair in Alex’s office, leaning against Kara’s shoulder and trying not to nod off as she ran her fingers absentmindedly through her hair. Through the small window on the opposite wall the sun was just beginning to peep over the horizon.

“I didn’t know how you took your coffee, so I just brought everything,” Alex announced as she barged back into the room and closed the door. She set a mug in front of Lena then dug around in her pockets and dumped out several handfuls of sugar packets and creamer containers before pulling out her chair and settling in across from them. 

Lena sat up and cupped the warm mug in her palms gratefully. “Thank you.”

“Sure thing.” 

Kara looked at Lena’s cup and then back at her sister, clearly affronted. “Where’s mine?”

Alex rummaged around in a drawer until she came up with a legal pad and tape recorder and set both on the desk. “You don’t get any. You’re leaving.”

Lena stiffened and Kara squeezed her leg, muttering, “don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” out of the corner of her mouth.

“In fact,” Alex continued loudly as if she hadn’t heard what Kara said, “you might recall that you were never supposed to be here in the first place. I EXPLICITLY told you to stay out of it and wait patiently and not get involved in a FEDERAL INVESTIGATION.”

“You didn’t seriously expect me to just twiddle my thumbs at home while Lena was in trouble, did you?” Kara demanded. “It’s a good thing I was there, considering you almost shot her!”

Alex planted her fists on the desk and spoke through clenched teeth. “For the fifteenth time, Kara, I did not almost shoot her. Arresting people is what I do for a living.”

“Why would you arrest her?! She’s innocent! She was trying to escape!”

“It was dark and I didn’t recognize her!”

The pair glowered at one another; their mannerisms so similar it would have struck Lena as comical if she weren’t so exhausted. She took a sip of her black coffee. 

Alex snatched her pen off the desk and clicked it deliberately. “I have to get statement from Dr. Luthor. The sooner I can do that, the sooner we can all go home.” 

Kara shrugged and put her arm around the back of Lena’s chair, settling in. “Fine, let’s get it over with, then.”

Alex squeezed the bridge of her nose, on the verge of combusting. Lena cleared her throat and leaned over to Kara, who looked back at her softly despite the fact that one of her eyes was still swollen most of the way shut. “I believe she’s saying she needs to take my statement in private, darling,” Lena said under her breath. 

Kara’s good eye widened and she sat up furiously. “Absolutely not!” she blurted, “I’m not leaving her, she needs me!” Then, checking her temper, she bit her lip and swiveled back toward Lena. “Sorry babe,” she whispered, “do you need me?”

Lena gave her hand a squeeze to show that she wasn’t offended by her defensiveness. “I’ll be fine. It’ll probably go faster if I just do it alone. Why don’t you have Jess drive you back to my condo? I can meet you there when we’re done.” 

Jess and Jack had insisted on accompanying them back to the station. As it turned out, the two of them had been the ones that had driven the getaway car that delivered Kara to the Luthor mansion. Despite Lena’s insistence that she go home, Jess had taken it upon herself to wait in the lobby, and Lena knew she would stay there unless she was given some kind of job as an excuse to leave. She’d be happy to drive Kara home, as it was clear at a glance that the two of them had taken a shine to one another. The jury was still out on how Jack felt about the situation, as he was being questioned separately. 

Alex nodded vehemently at Lena’s suggestion. “Fantastic idea.”

Scowling, Kara opened her mouth to argue, but closed it again when she saw the pleading look on Lena’s face. She sighed in acquiescence. “Alright. Fine. But can I make a minor adjustment?” 

“Alright,” Lena said apprehensively. 

“I think it would be safer if we went back to my place. I don’t think any of…you know, them… know where I live. Plus I have Rex.”

“Oh,” Lena breathed in relief. She knew it was irrational, but the fear that Kara would suddenly decide that she was done dealing with any of it was real. And persistent. “Of course. Whatever you like, darling.”

“Okay,” Kara said, tucking a strand of Lena’s tangled hair behind her ear tenderly. “Are you sure you don’t want me to wait in the lobby?”

“Positive,” Lena confirmed. She kissed Kara’s cheek, eliciting the goofy half-grin that she adored. “I’m sure Alex will be very accommodating.”

Kara stood up. “She better,” she said sharply, turning to Alex, who had taken up doodling on her legal pad while she waited for the two of them to finish conferring. Lena could make out a stick figure with short hair and X’s for eyes. “You can have twenty minutes.”

Alex lifted her chin off her hand slowly, wearing an expression that suggested that her prayers for patience were going unanswered. “It’s going to take longer than twenty minutes.”

“Twenty. Minutes,” Kara repeated, rapping her knuckles on the desk for emphasis. She leaned down and kissed Lena’s forehead. “I’ll see you at home, okay?” She nodded and Kara caught her eye in a way that made her toes curl in her shoes. On her way out the door, she stopped and turned, making a show of pointing at her watch before her blonde ponytail whisked around the corner.

Smiling with helpless affection, Lena turned back to Alex and found the other woman watching her curiously, her eyebrow quirked. Lena dropped her gaze instantly and wrung her hands in her lap unhappily, wishing she could change her mind and call Kara back into the room. After several beats of silence, Alex spoke. 

“You know, I’ve never seen Kara like this.” 

“Oh?” Lena asked, not sure how to respond.

“She really loves you.”

Lena twitched her head up reflexively, scouring Alex’s face for the hidden meaning in her statement, but there didn’t appear to be any. She was simply making an observation. 

“I love her too,” Lena offered quietly.

Alex nodded. Her shrewd stare was unrelenting. “Yeah. Even I have to admit that much is obvious.” She tapped her pen on the table, thinking, and the set of her jaw reminded Lena of Kara when she was working through a diagnosis. “Before we get started here, I want to say a few things to you, if you don’t mind. Off the record.” 

The corner of Lena’s mouth twitched. “I believe you’re in charge of that,” she said, indicating the tape recorder. Alex pushed it aside and leaned forward, clasping her hands on the desk.

“You’re gonna have to bear with me because I’m not great with words.” She took a deep breath and blew it out, making the hair on her forehead flutter. “I’m protective of Kara and I’m stubborn. But I was dead wrong about you.”

“It’s alright,” Lena reassured her. “I understand.”

“No, it’s not alright,” Alex asserted fiercely. “I spent a long time investigating your family, and it made me biased. I assumed that you were like them, but you’re not. When I found out you were in Metropolis volunteering, I couldn’t figure out why. I thought maybe it was a PR stunt or something like that. But then I started digging around and I found out you were working back to back twelve hours shifts, exposing yourself to sick people. I found out you spent a whole bunch of your own money to supply the hospital with portable ventilators and PPE. Shit, I called the hospital director herself and she talked about you like you were the next Time Person of the Year. It made no sense. Every single person I’ve ever interviewed about you has had basically the same opinion. Why is that?”

Lena stared down at her hands fixedly, her skin crawling with discomfort. “I’m not sure.”

“Do you want to know what I think?” Alex asked. 

Lena peeked up from beneath her eyelashes inquisitively, cursed by her own curiosity. “Sure.”

“I think it’s because you’re actually a good person. Not that I know how that happened,” she admitted, holding her hands up to display her ignorance. “It’s still a total mystery to me how you made it out of that viper’s nest unscathed, but you did. And I find that really impressive.”

Shocked, Lena almost smiled. “Well, thank you.”

Alex snorted. “I should be the one thanking you. You saved Kara’s life. Although I don’t know how you did that, either.”

Lena glanced down at the yellowing bruise on the inside of her elbow. “It’s a long story.”

Alex nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I’m sure it is, and I’m hoping it’s one that you’ll tell me, because I get the feeling you’ll be much more helpful to all of these other sick people if you’re not wasting your time in prison.”

Lena’s heart sank. “Yes, I suppose that would complicate things,” she muttered, suddenly nauseous. Naïve as it was, the prospect of her own incarceration hadn’t even crossed her mind, but her last name was Luthor, wasn’t it? She rubbed her suddenly sweaty palms across the tops of her thighs.

Noticing her reaction, Alex said, “Hold on. I want to make a deal with you.”

Composing herself, Lena squared her shoulders and looked across at Alex with as much aplomb as she could muster. “A deal?”

“Yes,” Alex said, her dark brown eyes locking onto Lena’s steadily. “I want to offer you immunity in exchange for your cooperation.”

“Oh.” Lena blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I can give you immunity from prosecution if you agree to testify against your family,” she clarified, tapping the tape recorder with her pen. “You can walk away from all this, free and clear. I just need you to help me put Lex and Lillian Luthor behind bars.”

Lena gaped at her as if she were speaking in a different language. “Are- are you saying you want me to betray my family?”

Alex’s eyebrows knit together and she frowned. “Uh, betray the family that abused and took advantage of you for years and then kidnapped you? Yeah, that’s what I said.”

“No. I couldn’t possibly do that.”

“Why not?” Alex demanded, taken aback. 

Lena gripped the edges of her seat, her fingernails digging into the plastic covering of the cushion. “I know you think I’m ridiculous, but they’re the only family I have.” Choking back tears, she looked away so Alex wouldn’t see. “Luthor Corp belonged to my father. Helping you destroy his company would be an insult to his memory.” 

Alex pushed herself away from the desk and folded her arms. “Okay, first of all, I don’t think you’re ridiculous. Far from it. I would, however, argue the point that those horrible people are the only family you have. Your life is full of people that would do just about anything for you. They probably deserve a little more credit than the assholes that were holding you hostage.”

Lena squirmed in her seat, but Alex was looking at her in a way that reminded her so much of Kara that she dropped her guard slightly. Finally, she nodded in agreement. “I can see what you mean.”

“And I obviously don’t know much about your dad, but I’ve done a lot of research and it seems to me like the company he ran looked pretty different than the one that exists now. Isn’t that true?”

“Yes. That’s true.” 

“Right. Listen, I can understand how hard this must be for you to accept, but helping me doesn’t make you a traitor. You know you’d be doing the right thing, you’re just too absurdly loyal to admit it.”

Lena winced at the word and Lionel’s voice echoed through her head. 

What does the crown stand for, Lena?

Loyalty. 

But to who, exactly? He hadn’t been clear on that point, but maybe he thought it was obvious. The symbol had two other components, ones that Lena had always paid less attention to but were equally important. They were three parts of a whole: love, loyalty, and friendship. Loyalty was not blind obedience that was owed. It was meant to be given freely to the people that truly loved and appreciated you. The ones who showed up when the chips were down and didn’t expect anything in return. 

Jack. Jess. Natalia. Rocco. Winn. Sam. Nia. Lionel. Lena closed her eyes and called up each of their faces in turn. 

Kara. 

She opened her eyes, full of steely resolve, to find Alex still watching her. “Well?” she prompted gently. “What do you say?” 

Lifting her chin, Lena reached across the table and pushed the tape recorder in front of her decisively. 

“Shall we get started?”

//

The sun was up by the time they finished, two hours later. The day dawned gloomy and overcast, complementing Lena’s affect. She felt numb and drained, her head swimming with physical and emotional exhaustion. Just rising from her chair made her muscles ache and her joints creak. 

She started to call a car, but Alex offered her a ride to Kara’s house instead. “Least I can do,” she grumbled when Lena thanked her. She disappeared into a locker room and when she came out she was dressed in grungy jeans, a well-worn flannel, and a beanie. Lena regarded her with interest, wondering if Kara had similar tastes in fashion. Realizing she didn’t have a coat, she pulled on the hoodie that Kara had left hanging off a hook on the back of the door. Lena smiled when she saw the Sharks logo on it, thinking wistfully about Nia. 

After a bit of painful small talk about musical tastes they had settled on listening to Led Zeppelin in silence. Alex slammed through the Jeep’s gears aggressively through the city but calmed down once they were on the highway. When they passed through the last suburb and entered the rural outskirts that contained Midvale, she relaxed and leaned back, one hand on the shifter and the other draped over the steering wheel. 

“That’s Kara’s old hospital” she said, pointing out a nondescript gray building that seemed somewhat out of place as the only edifice standing in a flat expanse of brown grass as far as the eye could see. 

“That’s it?” Lena asked in surprise, craning her head to look back at it through the rear window. 

“Yeah, nothing fancy,” Alex retorted, shooting her a peevish look. “It was a good enough for Kara.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sure it was an excellent hospital.”

Alex relaxed. “Actually, it really wasn’t. They were understaffed and underfunded. Kara was the only doctor in the ER most days.”

Lena smiled. “I’m sure she loved that.”

“Yeah, actually, she really did,” Alex replied affectionately. 

Lena watched her out of the corner of her eye, enjoying the obvious adoration in her tone. She felt a sort of kinship with Alex. Despite their reservations about one another, they were bonded through their love for Kara whether they liked it or not. A few minutes went by before Lena worked up the nerve to pose the question she’d been dying to ask since they got in the car. 

“How is she?” 

At first, Alex didn’t answer and Lena thought that maybe she hadn’t heard. The sun came out from behind a cloud, throwing a glare across the windshield and she flipped open an overhead compartment and pulled out a pair of aviator sunglasses. Then, steering with her knee, she leaned back and pawed around in her back seat until she came up with a blue ballcap that Lena recognized as the one Kara had been wearing earlier. 

“Here,” Alex said, handing it to Lena and buckling herself back in. “Sorry I don’t have another pair of shades.”

“That’s alright,” Lena said, taking the hat a little too eagerly and resisting the urge to sniff it before jamming it on her head and pulling the brim down until she didn’t have to squint. “Thank you.”

“To answer your question, I don’t really know,” Alex mused at long last, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. “She’s Kara.”

Lena nodded, pursing her lips and trying to decide how to be more clear in her meaning. “I suppose I’m concerned that the last couple of weeks may have…well…set her back, so to speak.” She glanced at Alex to see if she was following, but her eyes were inscrutable behind her glasses. “She’s been under a great deal of stress, most of which is my fault, and I’m just…worried.” Lena picked at her cuticles, unsure if she’d gotten her point across until Alex spoke. 

“Oh I see. You’re worried about her drinking,” she stated succinctly. 

Lena took a deep breath. “Yes.”

Alex nodded and uncapped a bottle of water, taking several noisy gulps. When she was done, she offered it to Lena, who shook her head politely. “I can see where you’re coming from, and I appreciate your concern, but I don’t think you need to be worried about that. At least, not from what I’ve seen.”

Lena fiddled with the draw strings on her hoodie and watched a field full of cows whiz by. “What do you mean? From what you’ve seen?”

“I mean I know you two went through a lot in Metropolis, but that kind of stuff doesn’t really phase Kara.”

Lena looked at her skeptically. “She got PARVID and almost died.” 

Alex turned her head and lifted her glasses so Lena could see her deadpan stare. “Yeah. I’m aware. Thanks.” She let her glasses drop onto her face and turned back toward the road. “But that’s kind of what I’m talking about. She’s tough and she’s been through a lot in her life, but only certain things will, you know, push her in that direction.’

Lena hesitated, waiting for Alex to continue, but she just hummed along to the music under her breath. “Like what?”

“Look, lady, I’m not a psychoanalyst.” 

“No, but you know Kara better than anyone else and I value your opinion on this.”

Alex grunted in acknowledgement and pulled off her beanie, flipping it into the back seat and running her fingers through her hair. “Loss,” she said simply, her tone raw. “Abandonment. That kind of thing.”

“That makes sense,” Lena said quietly.

“Can I be real honest with you?”

Lena looked up. “Please.”

“I will say that there was a minute there, right after she got home, that I was worried about that. She called me from the airport for a ride and she sounded terrible. Could barely string a sentence together. When I picked her up she was losing her mind over you. I can’t remember the last time I saw her like that- probably just after our mom died. Anyway, she was terrified. She thought that Lex was going to hurt you, which is why I went ahead with the warrant earlier than I wanted to.” Alex shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t know what she would have done if anything happened to you. I think that losing you is the worst thing that she can imagine.” 

“She could never lose me,” Lena responded instantly. She nipped her lower lip in embarrassment, but for once, Alex didn’t roll her eyes.

“I really hope that’s true,” she said somberly. 

“It’s the truest thing I know.” 

“Okay. Then I don’t think we have anything to worry about.” She dropped the Jeep into third gear to pass a tractor trailer then turned to look at Lena. “You know, you two are really gross. Did you know that?” 

Lena straightened her hat and grinned. “Possibly.”

//

“Here we are,” Alex announced as they approached a driveway hidden in a copse of trees.  
She slowed and turned in next to a mailbox labeled with the word “Danvers” and surrounded by a shock of late-blooming perennials in every color. Lena’s heart leapt into her throat as the wheels crunched over a long gravel driveway leading up to a tiny one-story house with white trim and a wrap-around porch. Alex parked in front of a hand-painted sign that read: “Alex’s Parking Spot-All Others Will Be Towed” and pulled up the handbrake, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head. She gave Lena an expectant look, but she was too distracted taking it all in, her nose practically pressed against the glass. 

Kara lived here. 

A chicken appeared suddenly from underneath the elderly pickup truck beside them and started pecking idly at a clump of grass. Lena gasped. “A chicken!” she said, pivoting toward Alex and pointing at it.

“Uh, yep,” Alex replied slowly, narrowing her eyes at her as if she were touched in the head. “That’s a chicken.”

Lena stared at it wonderingly. “Won’t it wander off?” she asked. She hadn’t seen any evidence of a fence. 

“Nah, Rex keeps them in check. Plus Kara feeds them pancakes, so I doubt they’d want to leave even if they could.” 

As if on cue, the front door banged open and an enormous black and brown dog leapt off the porch and gamboled joyfully over to the driver’s-side door, his head popping up in the window as Alex rolled it down. She scratched him between the ears as Kara emerged from the house behind him, barefoot and in a pair of sweatpants with her customary bandanna tied in her hair. She walked to the edge of the porch and craned her neck to see through the windshield into the passenger’s seat. When she spotted Lena, her face lit up and she trotted down the stairs toward them. 

With her gaze locked on Kara like a laser, Lena pawed at the door handle blindly until it released and she tumbled out. She barely managed to throw a cursory “thank you for the ride,” over her shoulder at Alex before she was running up the driveway. Her hat flew off as Kara caught her in her arms and lifted her off her feet, spinning them around in a circle. 

“Hi,” Kara said in her ear, “that was way longer than twenty minutes.” Lena wrapped her arms around her tighter, eliciting a soft “oof” as she squeezed Kara’s ribs beyond their anatomical limits. Behind them, Alex honked twice in farewell as she pulled away, unwilling to be subjected to yet another reunion scene. 

“You have chickens,” Lena said, her voice muffled by blonde curls. As she looked over Kara’s shoulder, three more appeared.

“Uh huh. Ten. I also have goats.”

“Ten?!” Lena exclaimed, pulling away to look at her. “Goats?!” Kara laughed and kissed the tip of her nose.

“Yep. I’ll introduce you to everyone later.”

Back from chasing Alex’s car all the way out to the road, Rex reappeared, wagging his tail and forcing his muzzle between the two of them insistently. 

“Oh,” Lena said when he nudged her hand. She hovered it over his head uncertainly for a moment before opting to scratch him between the ears the way she’d seen Alex do. He wagged his tail harder and almost seemed to smile. “Hello Rex, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

Kara put her hands in her pockets and watched the two of them affectionately. “He wants us to go inside,” she said as Rex barked at them and then took off toward the house. Kara pushed her glasses up on her nose and looked at Lena shyly. 

“Well,” Lena said, heat creeping up into her own cheeks in anticipation of being alone with Kara in her own space, “he’s the boss.”

“That’s for sure,” Kara replied, bending down to pick up her hat. She swatted it against her leg to get the dirt off and then put it back on Lena’s head with the brim reversed. She stepped back to admire the effect and grinned. “This is great look for you, you know.”

Lena arched an eyebrow at her playfully. “When am I going to get you into my clothes?”

“Soon, I hope,” Kara answered without missing a beat, grinning wickedly when Lena realized what she’d said. “Come on, Rex is getting annoyed.” She put her hand out and Lena took it, allowing herself to be led up the stairs and through the front door.

Lena stopped in the entryway and scraped her shoes on the mat politely as Kara shut the door behind them. The house smelled like a wood stove and cooking food and something floral, something that was distinctly Kara. She took a few steps into the living room, which was spacious despite its small size and cozy in a way that Lena associated with old-fashioned cottages in fantasy novels. The furniture all appeared to be custom-built, and there were framed photographs and books and houseplants covering every surface. It was such a perfect reflection of its owner that Lena was instantly in love with it. 

“Well?” Kara asked softly, wrapping her arms around Lena’s waist from behind. “It’s not much, it doesn’t have an elevator or a balcony or gargoyles or anything but-”

“I love it,” Lena interrupted, turning around to face her. 

“You do?” she asked, obviously relieved.

“Yes,” Lena said, cupping both of her palms against the angles of Kara’s jaw and kissing her. “I absolutely love it. I love you.”

Dazed, Kara brushed her knuckles against Lena’s cheek. “I love you, too.” The expression she was wearing was so full of tenderness that Lena had to look away, afraid she’d melt into a puddle on Kara’s clean floor. The tension between them thickened until Kara cleared her throat and asked, “um, are you hungry?”

“I’m starving,” Lena said, surprising herself with how quickly she answered. Her stomach rumbled in agreement and she remembered that she hadn’t eaten since she was in Metropolis, despite Natalia’s well-intentioned attempts to fatten her up. 

“Oh good,” Kara said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Alex kept you so long I ended up making soup. I know that’s not exactly a breakfast food, but-”

“Soup sounds amazing,” Lena interjected, her mouth already watering. She followed Kara over to a small kitchen table and sat down, her eyes roaming over the neatly arranged place settings and the vase of freshly cut mums in the middle. “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”

“What trouble?” Kara asked as she disappeared into the kitchen. Lena’s stomach growled in harmony with the sounds of clinking utensils and rattling pot lids. After a few minutes Kara peered around the corner, sporting an apron that said Kiss the Cook. “Do you want bread and butter?” she asked. 

“Oh, um-”

“Never mind, that’s a stupid question. Of course you do.” 

Kara disappeared again and Lena smiled to herself, bemused. She took off her hat and looked out the window while she waited. The clouds were clearing, revealing a pretty blue sky. Lena wondered if Lex and Lillian could see it from their respective jail cells and then decided that she hoped neither of them had a window. 

“Here we go,” Kara said, rounding the corner with two steaming bowls of soup balanced on a tray. She set them down carefully and added, “I hope chicken noodle is okay.” 

Lena frowned. “I don’t think I’ve ever had chicken noodle soup before,” she said, picking up her spoon and looking down at her bowl in consternation. Kara’s jaw dropped and Lena snorted. “Kidding.”

Kara shot her a look as she shook out her napkin and tucked it into the neck of her t-shirt. “Mean.”

Lena giggled. “Well, I’m sure I’ve never had it this good.” She dipped her spoon, about to take a bite, but Kara shook her head frantically. 

“Whoa, hang on, it’s way too hot.” She handed Lena a slice of thickly buttered bread. “You gotta dip the bread for your first bite,” she said in a tone that implied she was surprised Lena wasn’t aware of this common knowledge. She picked up her own piece and dunked it and Lena followed suit, nibbling a corner and letting her eyes drift shut in blissful enjoyment. 

“You made this from scratch?” she asked Kara in awe. 

“Uh huh,” she replied, in the midst of stuffing the entirety of a drenched piece of bread into her mouth. When she was done chewing she added, “it’s my mom’s recipe.”

“It’s delicious,” Lena said, making Kara sit up in her chair proudly. They ate in companionable silence until Kara heard the sound of Lena’s spoon scraping the bottom of the bowl and she whisked it away, promptly returning with a second helping. “Kara, I couldn’t possibly-”

“You can and you will,” Kara interrupted, stabbing her own spoon in Lena’s direction. “Eat.” 

Lena smiled and complied, thinking that Natalia would approve of Kara. She wondered how she was doing now that Lillian was gone and hoped she was throwing herself a well-earned party. When she was finally finished, Kara passed their bowls down to Rex, who lapped up the remnants happily. Sleepy and full, Lena yawned, prompting Kara to push her chair away from the table and pat her legs. 

“Come here,” she said. Lena staggered to her feet obediently and wobbled over to Kara, dropping onto her lap and wrapping her arms around her neck. “Tired?”

“Mm hmm,” Lena hummed as Kara rubbed small circles between her shoulder blades. 

“Yeah, I bet,” Kara said. She wrapped one arm around Lena’s back and the other under her legs. “Let’s go to bed.”

“I have to take a shower first,” Lena muttered as Kara stood up and walked out of the kitchen and down a hallway. She stopped in front of the open bathroom door. 

“Are you sure? You seem too tired for that,” Kara said in a perfectly conversational tone, as if she’d had a full night’s sleep and wasn’t carrying someone roughly her own size.

“I’m sure,” Lena insisted, her traitorous eyelids drifting shut and her head sagging onto Kara’s shoulder. “I’m gross.”

Kara’s chuckle rumbled against Lena’s ear as she turned sideways to get them both through the door. She set her down on the lid of the toilet gently. “While I sincerely doubt that, it might be a good idea for me to check your sutures.”

Lena rested her elbows on the sink with her chin propped in her hands while Kara parted her hair and palpated her scalp with deft fingers. Struggling to keep her eyes open, she looked around the room. The shower curtain was blue with tiny yellow fish and the shelves on the wall beside the sink were full of knick-knacks: shells and sand dollars and assorted sea creatures made from blown glass. The overall effect was so endearing that it made Lena feel a little lovesick, an emotion that she’d always assumed was purely fictional. 

“This is the cutest bathroom I’ve ever seen,” she observed, her voice slightly slurred with enjoyment at the way Kara’s fingertips were massaging her scalp. “I don’t understand how you can be so cute.” 

“Thanks, I feel the same way about you,” Kara replied with amusement, continuing to facilitate Lena’s impending coma with her fingernails. “This looks fine, it’s healing nicely. I’ll take the sutures out in a couple days.” She stopped petting in order to turn Lena’s head to the side, earning herself a grumble. “This shiner, on the other hand…” She frowned and touched Lena’s edematous cheek lightly. “Looks terrible.”

Lena opened one eye. “You’re one to talk.” 

Kara grinned. “I look tough though, right?”

“Always, darling.”

Kara winked with her good eye and ducked behind the shower curtain to start the water. She pulled a fluffy blue towel out of a cabinet and set it on the sink. “Here you go, love bug. Everything you need should be in there. Soap and shampoo and whatever.” She kissed the top of Lena’s head and opened the door to leave. “See you in a few minutes.”

Miffed, Lena sat up. “Wait,” she said, catching Kara by the wrist. “Don’t go.”

Kara paused and looked back curiously as Lena stood up and stepped into her space, reaching over her shoulder to push the door shut again. The steam from the shower was fogging up Kara’s glasses, so she took them off. “I just figured you’d want privacy,” she said in a small voice, her eyes flickering over Lena’s face with barely disguised eagerness. 

“No,” Lena said, threading her fingers into the hair on the back of Kara’s neck, making her shiver. “I want you.” She pressed her back against the wall and kissed her.

“I thought you were tired,” Kara whispered breathlessly when they broke apart. Her eyes were bright and her pupils were dilated.

Lena nodded seriously, taking Kara’s hands and pressing them to her hips. “I am,” she replied, lifting her own arms over her head. “That’s why I need your help.”

Kara caught her lower lip in her teeth and dipped her fingers beneath the waistline of Lena’s pants, gathering up the silk material of her blouse. She pulled it over her head in one fluid movement, letting it fall to the floor as she reached around Lena’s back and unlatched her bra with a flick of her fingertips. “Yes, ma’am.”

//

When the hot water ran out, they wrapped themselves in towels and staggered across the hall, their wet hair dripping on the floor. Kara opened the door to her bedroom and they spilled inside, giggling, unwilling and unable to detach themselves from one another for more than a few seconds. With the shades drawn, it was dark inside and Lena couldn’t see anything. They bumbled into an end table, knocking something off onto the floor with a loud thunk that made Rex bark in the next room. 

“Hang on,” Kara said, pulling away from her momentarily to reach down and flip a switch that illuminated a long strand of white fairy lights hanging over the bed. She stood back up and resumed kissing Lena’s neck where she’d left off, but Lena had frozen in place, gazing at her surroundings wonderingly.

“I’m in your bedroom,” she said reverently. She placed the palm of her hand on the top of Kara’s dresser, which was as full of books and plants as the rest of the house. Kara’s personal things were real and tangible and scattered all over the room, proving to Lena once and for all that she wasn’t in a dream.

Kara picked up her head and smiled, a little confused. Her face was still flushed from the heat of the shower. “This is my bedroom, yep.”

“Sorry,” Lena said, shaking her head. Her throat was inexplicably tight and she swallowed hard. “I suppose I just never thought I’d be here. I thought-” She shivered, goosebumps breaking out over her arms as her brother’s snarling face flashed through her mind, uninvited. “Never mind. I think I’m just overtired.” Tears filled her eyes and she swiped them off her cheeks, mortified. She couldn’t imagine anything less sexy than crying while naked. 

Unphased by the spectacle she was making, Kara hooked a hand around the small of her back and guided her over to the bed. She turned down the covers and gestured. “In you go, babe,” she instructed, taking Lena’s towel from her.

Sniffling, Lena hesitated. “Don’t I need pajamas?”

Kara stared at her, genuinely bewildered. “What? Why? I’m just gonna take them back off.”

Despite herself, Lena snickered. “You’re right. Force of habit,” she said, climbing in. Kara followed after her and pulled the thick comforter over them both, scooting forward until Lena was cocooned in her arms. Heat rolled off of her body in waves, like cuddling with a small furnace. 

“Better?” she asked when she felt Lena relax. 

“Much,” she answered contentedly, rolling her hips in an effort to alleviate some of the soreness with little success. “I’m sorry, I was just being hysterical.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you’re well known for your hysterics,” she said, brushing their noses together. “Seriously, are you okay?”

Lena opened her mouth, fully intending to plead exhaustion and change the subject, but instead she admitted, “No. I’m scared.”

Kara raised her eyebrows. “Of what?”

“Losing this again,” Lena answered simply, running her hand down Kara’s side and over the crest of her hip. 

“I don’t know how that would happen,” Kara reassured her, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Lena thought about her conversation with Alex, her condemnation of her family permanently recorded on a tape cassette. Lex always told her that if he went down, he would take out everyone around him, too. 

“Most of all,” he’d say, sneering in Lena’s face, “you.”

Lena shook her head to clear it. “Things might get really hard,” she said under her breath in a rush.

“What, like they aren’t already?”

Lena chewed the inside of her cheek. “Well, yes, but…”

“Lena,” Kara said, drawing her close, “you’re not alone anymore.”

She nodded; her heavy eyelids drooping shut as Kara kissed her forehead. “Do you promise?” she asked.

“I promise.”

What does the heart stand for, Lena?

“Love,” she whispered out loud as she drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make the words flow. Thanks for all the love. <3
> 
> (and before you ask- no, this is not the last chapter.)


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